On the Nature of Trolls, Part II

The Internet is a strange place, isn't it? It allows us to instantly find information in a way that was unimaginable 20 years ago. It allows us to form communities, regardless of geography. And unfortunately, it allows whackadoos to invade our personal space.

Much has been written on the general nature of trolls, some of it here, but in recent days I've decided that in addition to the 10 points defined by Jim Wright, trolls also come in two distinct varieties.

Type A: The Drive-By Troll. This type of troll can be identified by their drive-by nature. Like the LDSers and Jehovah's Witnesses who insist on knocking on my door in spite of the clearly visible "No Soliciting" sign, they pop into your life, talk some nonsense, and then go away, never to return. These folks, while irritating and usually hateful, don't really give me high blood pressure, as they usually demonstrate the type of self-righteous asshattery that means they won't come back and defend their pet ideas. They simply drop their stupidity in your lap and run away. I can almost visualize them in my mind, cackling maniacally, as they type what they're sure is a blistering comment in response to some knee-jerk topic, all the while missing the scathing rebuttal that is sure to follow. Whatever gets you off, I guess.

Type B: The Black Sheep Troll. I call these folks Black Sheep trolls because they're just like the Black Sheep in some families. They're not contributing members of the community (in this case the on-line community), and they do not appear to have friends that are interested in listening to their ideas or opinions. So they troll the Internet, looking for validation and interaction, and when they find someone's Internet home where they can actually get a response, well, that must mean you want me to stay! So like the deadbeat relative who won't quit coming to dinner, even when they're not invited, they keep hanging around, even when it's made pretty clear that NO ONE LIKES THEM. They just can't understand why their Internet hosts are uninterested in dialogue with them, and they wander from site to related site, hoping for some shred of validation.

Black Sheep are especially prevalent in Bulletin Boards, in my opinion, which is why the only BB I currently participate in is private, and participation is by invitation only.

I find the Black Sheep a bit more irritating than the other variety, mostly because they suck away my Internet life force like some kind of Star Trek creature of the week. If I'm fucking around refuting their whackadoo opinions and asshattery on my site, I don't have the time or the energy to visit the sites of people I respect and admire, not to mention, you know, doing the work for which I'm paid.

I almost feel sorry for this class of whackadoos. Their opinions and commentary apparently aren't interesting or engaging enough to attract an audience of their own - so they attempt to hijack other people's Internet homes in the hope of achieving some level of interaction. Even after being told explicitly to go away, many of them continue to click, click, click away where they're clearly not wanted, evidently waiting for the next opportunity to jump into the fray. They also apparently they think their activities are secret, not being aware that even free traffic monitoring code will pinpoint their activities.

How sad is that? Hanging around web sites where no one cares what they think, where no one wants their opinion, because they can't receive the validation they crave in their own spaces or in other public discussion forums.

Pathetic.

I would almost feel sorry them, if they weren't Internet life force suckers. As it is, I'm tempted to just delete them out of hand once they show me who they are. Sorry, whackadoos - I'm really not interested in letting you stink up my parlor. The smell bothers the dog, and I'm quite sure I like him more than I'll ever like you.

Boogie Blogging Friday

"I have a snackie! A snackie that cleans my teeth! Which I can eat on my Blankie!"

My Shippies

Three years ago, the U.S. Navy Ceremonial Guard Silent Drill Team was invited to compete in an international Tattoo in Norway. They competed against military units from all over NATO, and walked away with the first place prize.

These are my shippies, bitches.

Who Cares? Magazine, Volume 3, Issue 10

Michael Jackson plans comeback tour in London! Will his face fall apart on stage? Will he employ underage "dancers?" Who Cares!

A Nice Surprise

Today's e:mail, instead of bringing more religious ranting from the Christian Taliban, brought a nice note from Rachel Andres, the subject of yesterday's Well Behaved Women Rarely Make History feature.

Rachel writes:

Hi! Thanks so much for writing this up about the Jewish World Watch’s Solar Cooker Project! I love your site and I appreciate you spreading the word about the project.

Let me know if you want any more information.

Take care!

Rachel

Aside from the fact that she's a class act for taking the time to thank me for my post, I find it endearing that she's more concerned about her project than she is about personal recognition.

Which is why she's so very ill-behaved.

Thanks, Rachel, and keep up the good work.

Tasty Tuesday (A Day Late and A Dollar Short)

I missed tasty Tuesday yesterday, but today I'm going to share a very interesting recipe that is served by one of our former favorite restaurants, The Chinook Tavern. Sadly, they are now closed, with no reopen date - which means SmartMan is searching for another place that serves authentic Jagerschnitzel.

In any case, this is a dessert they used to serve at the Chinook, and I'll be bringing it to Hot Biker Chick Anne's for dinner tomorrow night.

Rote Gruetze
Serves 6-8

Fruit Mixture:
1/2 pound sour cherries
1/2 pound raspberries
1/2 pound boysenberries (or blackberries)
1/2 pound sweet cherries
4 ounces sugar (or to taste)
4 tablespoons corn starch

• Place all of the berries into a sauce pot. Bring to a simmer.
• Take a couple tablespoons of the juice out and mix it up with the corn starch
• Mix this back into the berry mixture to thicken it. (Can adjust with more cornstarch if needed).
• Pour into a clean stainless steel container and cool. Place in individual glass bowls.
• Top with some vanilla sauce.

Vanilla Sauce:
1 quart heavy cream
1 vanilla bean (or 1/2 tablespoon vanilla extract)
3 ounces sugar
3 egg yolks

• Mix cream, vanilla and sugar.
• Pour mixture into a sauce pot and heat to 125 degrees.
• Remove about two ounces of the cream from the pan to temper your eggs by pouring a little of the mixture into the eggs, whisking and then pouring that mixture back into the pan.
• Finish cooking and stirring using a wooden spoon. Vanilla sauce is done when it coats the back of the spoon. Pour into a stainless steel bowl and cool.

I always serve this thoroughly chilled, and it's a big hit with those who love berries. That's not me, incidentally, but my friends and family love it, so there you go.

Well Behaved Women Rarely Make History, Volume XIX

This is Rachel Andres. She's the director of Jewish World Watch's Solar Cooker Project.

The Solar Cooker Project is a charitable organization that brings simple solar cookers to the Darfur refugees.

This is important because in this culture, it is the responsibility of the woman to gather firewood for cooking. When the women leave the camp to complete this chore, they are frequently raped, regardless of their age. But if the men take up the chore, they are killed. The families are then left with an impossible choice - a traumatized (but living) female family member, or a dead male one.

So to help alleviate the risk, the Solar Cooker Project provides cardboard and tin foil solar cookers that will allow families to cook their daily meals without the use of firewood. The women are given the cookers, and trained on how to use them. They can also earn money by assembling the cookers, or by weaving baskets to hold the cooked food.

So how big a difference have these low tech Solar Cookers made? A huge difference. Once a camp has distributed the cookers, trips outside the camp to gather firewood decrease by 86%. That's a lot of risk abatement.

Ms. Andres was recently honored for her contributions by winning The 2008 Charles Bronfman Prize, a Jewish humanitarian award.

Yep. A Jewish woman, winning a Jewish humanitarian award for helping Muslim women to improve their lives and their safety. I'm down with that.

Congratulations, Ms. Andres, and keep fighting the good fight.


H/T to my Hot Mom.