Travel and privilege

I've been blogging about our recent Mediterranean Cruise lately, and I wanted to end that series with a note about privilege.

Overseas travel is expensive, and most people in the world don't have the wherewithal to be able to do it even once in their lives, let alone every few years. So being able to travel - especially out of country - is a hallmark of privilege, and one of which I'm acutely aware.

I had been to over fifteen countries before I was thirty years old. Over the next twenty years I visited seven more countries, with plans to expand on that total significantly in the next ten years. By any yardstick, this makes me incredibly privileged, and I want to take a moment to acknowledge that fact, and to be grateful for these opportunities.

The opportunity to see different countries, different cultures, different landscapes, is an amazing one. It changes your worldview, it broadens your mind, and gives you new things to think about. I'm incredibly grateful to have received these opportunities, and to continue to receive them moving forward.

It's complicated

The violence of the last week has made me heartsick. The loss of life is completely unnecessary, and the polarization of our society depresses me and makes me sad. I'm also distressed because there are so many white apologists in my feed. So I'm going to try and express how I feel, with a little help from some writers I admire.

Here's a great article about the BLM movement, and why the "All Lives Matter" response is often interpreted as race-bating. The money quote:

I’ve also seen some views that Black Lives Matter is the wrong phrase to use, or it is divisive or non-inclusive. Usually, this sentiment comes from white people, who seem to have a knee jerk reaction to BLM. But here’s the thing: as white people, we don’t get to dictate to an oppressed minority how they go about achieving their liberation. For too long, we have been the one’s standing in their way, the ones telling them what they can or cannot do. So for us to stand up now and say, “hey, we get what you are doing, but can you just say it a little nicer?” is the epitome of racial arrogance and lack of self awareness....Just as white people didn’t need to be emancipated, we don’t need to assert that our lives matter. We were never enslaved, and we were never the victims of terrorism and hatred supported by the state based on the color of our skin.

Here's the thing about why white apologists distress me so. No one in their right mind is suggesting that killing the innocent (either by police or by private citizens) is an appropriate response to these situations. NO ONE. So when white people proclaim that "all lives matter" in response to the BLM movement, whether they mean to or not, they're suggesting that black people do not have a unique experience in this country. Whether they mean to or not, they're suggesting that the black community has not endured generations of institutional racism, so if they were just higher quality people, they'd be able to "get their community squared away." Whether they mean to or not, they're suggesting that innocents killed by police officers somehow did something to deserve it other than "driving while black." Whether they mean to or not, they're suggesting that there isn't REALLY a problem with the police disproportionally killing black people, since, you know, ALL LIVES MATTER. In other words, the phrase "all lives matter" is racially charged language, like calling a full grown black man a "boy."

All of these unspoken interpretations lead to an us versus them mentality - a completely unnecessary one. People with the mental sophistication to be able to read and write can also understand that you can simultaneously deplore innocent black men being killed by white police and also deplore a gunman killing innocent police who are performing their duties. These are not mutually exclusive ideas, and much of the rhetoric I'm seeing implies that they are. THEY'RE NOT. "Picking sides" makes things infinitely worse, not better. 

We do not live in a colorblind society. Each community has their own challenges and concerns, and it behooves us all to try and see things from the other person's point of view. Watch this clip, and if you're white, ask yourself the pertinent question and provide an honest response, at least to yourself:

Alternatively, if you don't come from a law enforcement family* or have personal experience with law enforcement, go on a ride-along and learn what it's like.

I don't criticize the BLM movement as an institutional effort not only because I think they have a legitimate complaint, but because their experience is not my experience. When my son gets pulled over by the police and has done nothing more than drive with a busted tail-light, my expectation is that he'll get a citation, not a bullet to the chest. So it's not up to me to tell the black community how to react to these events, as I lack both personal and historical context to do so intelligently and with respect.

These issues are complicated. Really complicated, and emotionally charged, too. But there are solutions! Solutions that (ironically) the Dallas Police Department actually implemented and so reduced their excessive force complaints from 147 in 2009 to 13 in 2015. I wish all of us would spend just a little more time applying the reasonable person test, and admitting that these issues cannot be reduced to a single meme or soundbite.

________
*Yes, I do come from a law enforcement/military family.

Random Thoughts and Words to Live By, Part 20

This week's words are from Internet user ariaste, grokked from The Mechanicky Gal:

Relationships are scary and complicated ONLY when you start thinking of your partner as some kind of adversary.

You know how to stop being scared of relationships? Remember that it's got a goddamned buddy system *built in.* That's all a relationship IS: "Let's approach life with the buddy system."

Check on your buddy. Make sure your buddy doesn't forget their lunchbox on the school bus. Hold hands with your buddy so you don't get lost. If your buddy wants to look at the monkey cage, look at the goddamn monkey cage with them. If you are the one looking at the monkey cage, ask your buddy what they want to do next, and when they want to feed the giraffe, help them find a quarter for the little food dispenser. Be a good buddy, and if your buddy isn't a good one too, tell the teacher and ask for a new one.

This isn't fucking rocket science, people.

Girona in Pictures

When we were in Barcelona, we took a day trip to the city of Girona. This was organized by our dear friends Stephen and Ellen, who also hired a private guide for our walking tour.

Of all the places we visited on this vacation, Girona appealed to me the most. I don't know what exactly it is about this city that resonated with me, but I loved it.

The Medieval Quarter

The old city of Girona was used for filming of season 6 of Game of Thrones, representing Braavos and King's Landing.

My favorite photo from this trip - Sant Feliu Gothic Cathedral

The old city was interspersed with gardens and views of the old Jewish quarter. Our guide was extremely knowledgeable, and told us the story of how the Jewish community was forced to convert or flee in 1492. There are still mikvahs in the old city, as well as Arab baths dating from the 12th Century.

Girona Cathedral

Like Barcelona, Girona is in Catalonia, and there were flags everywhere symbolizing the political movement that is advocating for Catalonia independence.

We also walked through the Universitat de Girona, and our guide told us that in Spain, most people go to the local university in their communities, rather than going away to school. They do encourage studying abroad, however - both from Girona, and away from it.

We flew home from Barcelona, content that this vacation was the best we'd ever had.

Link Me Up,Scotty - Badass Women Edition

For the first time ever, Dartmouth graduates more women than men from their engineering program. This news brings a smile to my face and a song to my heart.
________

A woman wins the Longsword Competition at the World Invitationals. Samantha Swords has mad skillz.
________

Nate Silver, whose prognostication in elections is nearing legendary status, has his national predictions on-line. He'll be updating regularly, so it'll be interesting to see how how his predictions change between now and November.
________

The Trumpsicle is being sued in federal court by a Jane Doe accusing him of raping her when she was thirteen. I don't know if this is true or not, but I will say the accusation appears credible rather than otherwise. We'll see how it shakes out, not that true believers will change their mind about the Trumpsicle even if he freely admitted to the crime.
________

Two trans women are running for Congress, including one right here in Colorado. I don't know if they'll win, but they're making history.
________

The Bloggess provides Facebook categorization we can actually use. For my personal fave I'm torn between "Contains blatantly wrong information that I should have googled first" and "I AM OUTRAGED ABOUT SOMETHING EVERYONE ELSE IS OUTRAGED ABOUT TOO BUT I FOUND A WAY TO MAKE IT ALL ABOUT ME EVEN THOUGH IT’S NOT AT ALL."
________

The FEC is investigating the Trumpsicle's campaign for sending fundraising e:mails to foreign elected officials. Proving once again that obeying the law is for "losers."
________

A Muslim gets to the damn point when it comes to Isis and the goals of these psychopaths. Seriously - demographically, a Muslim is far more likely to be killed by another Muslim terrorist than they are by followers of other religious faiths, just as Americans are far more likely to be killed by a Christian terrorist than by a Muslim one. The common denominator here is the crazy, not the faith. Alternatively, it may be helpful to look at the emergence of Isis as Islam being at war with itself. The money quote:

If a self-proclaimed Catholic group bombed the Vatican’s St. Peter’s Basilica and constantly killed scores of innocent Catholics, then we would deem such an entity, in various degrees, as an anti-Catholic terrorist group.

Likewise, ISIS is not a radical Islamist movement as much as it is an active anti-Muslim, terror movement.

Facts. Let's all be intellectually honest and allow them to crowd out our bigotry, shall we?
________

The Library Cat of the White Settlement, Texas public library is no longer banished from the stacks. I'm not a huge fan of cats, but seriously - pets improve our lives. Remove that stick from your ass and join the human race.
________

How castration and opera changed the skeleton of a 19th century castrato. Form follows function, y'all, for good or for ill.

H/T Steve
________

The military and other federal employees finally get a raise, in spite of Republican obstructionism. yeah, SURE you support our military, you hypocritical fucksticks.
________

A fascinating look at globalization through maps. In some ways, the world is getting smaller. In others, larger.

H/T BrainDoc
________

From the Mighty Girl files: Space Pioneer Susan G. Finley is tracking Juno for NASA after working for NASA since its inception.
________ 

Video of my Heart: John Cena talks about love, and what it really means to be an American.

Barcelona in Pictures

The last stop on our cruise was Barcelona. We decided to stay a few extra days there, and so rented an apartment where we stayed with most of the people who came on the cruise with us, along with some dear friends who flew in just for the Barcelona portion of the trip.

I liked Barcelona. It's a very cosmopolitan city, and the architecture is interesting and lovely.

The influence of modernist architect Antoni Gaudí is all over the city, and there's a Gaudí museum there, as well. I wasn't interested in that, but Brother JR - who is an architect - went and enjoyed it. 

La Pedera

I did spend one day shopping with Sister Stacey, our friend Darla, and Marina, the daughter of the friends who met us in Barcelona. Because SHOPPING.

The shopping district

We also went to a Flamenco show one evening. I'm not a huge fan of Flamenco style singing, but it was interesting, and the dancers were amazing. Sister Stacey and I decided that if you want to ensure you don't have cankles in your fifties, then take up Flamenco dancing.

Even the skyscrapers were visually interesting

The food was also amazing (OF COURSE). I think I ate more olives on this vacation than in the previous five years.

One more city on our European vacation!

Random Thoughts and Words to Live by, Part 19

Today's words are a quote from John Pavlovitz, a Christian minister whose blog I follow:

I don't always speak to change the minds of those who disagree with me. Sometimes I speak to let those who are hurting know that they are seen and heard and that they matter.

We don't always stand up to the bully to change the bully. Often we stand up to the bully simply to let the bullied know they are worth standing up for.