I'm a big fan of self-determination. I believe people should have the inalienable right to chart the course of their life, to make decisions that lead them to the goals and outcomes they desire. And I believe that policies and attitudes that seek to restrict people's self-determination are simply a means to exert control over others. As I've noted before, "When people won't take 'no' for an answer, they're trying to control you."
Which leads to the idea of agency, or the capacity to act in the world.
One aspect of self-determination and agency is the idea that people have the right to set their own boundaries, to make decisions about who they want in their lives, to determine what is acceptable behavior in their own eyes, to suit themselves when it comes to their life choices.
What this means to me is that when people exercise their agency, their self-determination, I have an obligation to respect their right to do so.
But this does not obligate me to respect the way in which they exercise their agency. Because let's face it - people make shitty-ass choices each and every day, including me. We hurt those who love us, we make decisions based on others' emotional manipulation, we rationalize our behavior in a way that justifies our selfishness, we choose actions that don't lead to the outcomes we want, and on and on and on.
And yet, I value self-determination and I wish to honor others' humanity and their rights, so I must respect people's agency, even if it impacts me negatively, even if it hurts me or those I love.
Even if I don't respect or honor specific individuals, and their choices make me want to run around naked with my hair on fire.
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