There's One in Every State

Saturday, November 23, 2013

You know, there's one in every state. Oftentimes, there's more than one. And at this moment, Colorado's "one" is raving douchecanoe Gordon "Chaps" Klingenschmitt, who is running for Colorado's General Assembly in, where else, Colorado Springs.

He's currently some sort of religious leader here in my fine state. And by "leader" I mean "homophobic, delusional lunatic who has completely lost his grip on reality." Don't believe me? He thinks the Affordable Care Act causes cancer.. And believes Supreme Court Justice Kennedy thinks Jesus is evil. And that the President is ruled by demons. And that demonic spirits inhabit track meet officials, transgendered professors and Madonna. And that gay people should be discriminated against. And that he can exorcise the gay right out of people. And that transgendered girls are visually "raping" other girls by using the female locker room in schools.

From a historical perspective, he graduated from the Air Force Academy, and subsequently served in the U.S. Navy Chaplain Corps. YOU CANNOT IMAGINE HOW MUCH THIS EMBARRASSES ME. REALLY, YOU HAVE NO IDEA. However, he was court-martialed for protesting outside the White House in his uniform, so at least someone was on the ball, even though ole "Chaps" claimed to be persecuted because of his Christian beliefs.*

The trope of Christians in the United States being "persecuted" for their beliefs really chaps** my ass (pun intended). Their so-called persecution is usually a simple matter of them being forced to give up their unearned privilege, rather than actually having their liberty, safety or lives threatened. Not. The. Same. Thing. Plus there's the whole majority versus minority issue.




I can only hope that the fine voters of Colorado Springs look at this dude, hold their nose, and vote for the other guy.


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*This is some seriously stupid shit, y'all. When you take the oath, you accept that there will be certain limitations on your right to free speech for as long as you wear the uniform. These limitations apply to everyone, and failing to abide by them - as you swore to do - means you violated your oath. There may be occasions where a person might choose to disobey orders as a matter of conscience. But it's bad form to whine like a little bitch when you're held accountable for doing so.

**Am I the only one who's puerile enough to look at this guy's nickname ("Dr. Chaps") and immediately visualize him actually wearing leather chaps with nothing underneath like you see so often in gay pride parades? Try getting THAT picture out of your mind. Hee.

10 comments:

Stacey said...

Um, thanks for the visual.

Janiece said...

I live to serve.

mom in northern said...

Oh sigh...As I get older I keeping hoping people will get smarter...I know...I am delusional

Janiece said...

Mom, clearly you're being influenced by DEMONS.

vince said...

Holy crap, what a fucking idiot!

Random Michelle K said...

I thought I remembered reading/hearing that the AF Academy had a lot of issues with forcing a Christian perspective on cadets.

Or was it something else I was remembering?

Random Michelle K said...

I remembered correctly.

http://www.veteranstoday.com/2010/08/18/air-force-academy-fundamentalist-proselytizing-is-a-four-star-mess/

Janiece said...

It's a hot mess, that's for sure. But I don't think "Chaps" had anything to do with that particular abrogation of the 1st Amendment - he's too old.

Unknown said...

I love your pie chart.

Random Michelle K said...

I was thinking that culture might have been long embedded--but I don't remember the details.

Still--douche canoe.