I have ALL the feelings

Tuesday, November 15, 2016

WARNING: VITRIOL,  RANTING, AND JUDGE-TASIC CONTENT AHEAD.

I have been off my RSS feed, Facebook, and my Twitter account since November 9th. I've continued to write my literary gratitude posts, but other than that - I've embraced the online hermit lifestyle.

The reason for this is simple. I have feelings. ALL the feelings. Some of them are completely contradictory, and all of them are churning around in my head and my heart like boiling lava. I had sworn off politics on Facebook since well before the election, and I see no reason to change that now. I suspect both my RSS and Facebook feeds are just a rotting pile of yuck right now as the right gloats and the left weeps, and I don't want to hear any of it. I don't know when I'll go back, but for now - HERMIT.

But these feelings need to go somewhere, and this space has always been where I've been able to share my thoughts and feelings with the knowledge that people don't HAVE to come here. If you're here, it's a completely voluntary decision on your part, so if you're going to go all Offended Ophilia, perhaps you should just move along. These are my feelings, and I'm still working through them. A month from now, I'm sure I'll have completely DIFFERENT feelings.*

So in no particular order, here they are:
  1. From a statistical point of view, I believe the majority (i.e., over 50%) of Trump supporters are misogynists, or racists, or cowards, or completely lacking in empathy, or some combination thereof. I cannot think of another conclusion that fits the facts of electing such an immoral, bigoted, unqualified goon to our highest office. The interesting thing is that none of his supporters consider themselves to be misogynists, racists, cowards, or completely lacking in empathy. But as the lady said, "It's not who you are underneath. It's what you do that defines you." And what they did was vote for a man who is a misogynist, a racist, a coward, and completely lacking in empathy. This suggests at the very least his supporters are just fine with those values leading our nation. The company you keep.
  2. We're going to survive this. In my lifetime, the United States has survived one of the most corrupt Presidents in history (Richard M. Nixon) and one of the most incompetent Presidents in history (George W. Bush). We'll survive Trump, too, and I have hope that this election will end up being a fluke of history, rather than our new norm.
  3. To those 47% of you that voted for Trump, I have to say - this is your dumpster fire. He has shown the country and the world who he is, again and again and again. But you wouldn't believe him. So when he continues to be who he is, I don't want to hear about how "you didn't know." Of course you knew. You just didn't care because he appealed to your baser instincts and you fell for it, hook, line, and sinker.
  4. I'm not giving up. My Momma taught me that standing up to a bully is always the right thing to do, and without a doubt, Trump is now a very powerful bully. As of this week, I'm making monthly donations to the ACLU, Planned Parenthood, the Council on American - Islamic Relations, and Black Lives Matter to help them fight the good fight. Because the American ideal deserves my support now more than ever, and after 17 years in uniform and 15 years serving my community, I will not bail at this critical juncture. 
  5. I've been hearing rumors (remember, media blackout up in here) of Democrats and liberals behaving very badly indeed since the election. Stop it. Just stop it. You do not further our cause by acting like a doucheweasel, and you make all of us look bad. America is a country governed by the rule of law. You don't like the outcome? Me, neither. But we're stuck with it, because that's how the Constitution works. So instead of resorting to hate and violence, let's get off our asses and help the Democrats nominate someone who is actually electable in 2020. 
  6. I am deeply, profoundly, sad. That our great nation has come to this impasse, that so many of my fellow Americans would want this kind of "change" for our nation, makes me want to weep. 
  7. The Christian right and alt-right has reached new and unprecedented heights of hypocrisy this election season. If I hadn't held them in utter contempt before, then this election would have sealed their fate in the "no room for redemption" category.
  8.  I don't want to talk about this election. I don't want to talk about Donald Trump, or Hillary Clinton, or any politician at this point. I have burn out, and mostly I just want people to STFU about it when they're around me. 
  9. The fact that the executive and legislative branches of the government are now controlled by the party of bigotry and misogyny, the party with no fiscal responsibility, the party that believes stripping people of their civil rights is A-OK, scares the shit out of me. It scares the shit out of me because they (and their supporters - make no mistake) have already indicated what their plans are moving forward. And those plans basically consist of taking the U.S. back to about 1960, where men were men, women and brown people knew their places, nobody gave a good goddamn about pollution, and CIS white dudes could get rich by marginalizing those that weren't straight, white, and male. BONUS:  We'll get to accumulate an enormous amount of national debt at the same time due to tax cuts on the super rich and corporations! BONUS: Maybe I can even give up the right to vote, too! Boy oh boy - I can't wait to live in that society.
  10. I will really, really miss Barack and Michelle Obama. Their grace, dignity, intelligence, and class will be sorely missed in the White House.
  11. The next four years will require vigilance. I have my doubts about whether even a Republican government would resort to internment camps or whatever the latest conspiracy theory is, but it's all of our duty to watch the watchers, whoever they're affiliated with. Because if ANY administration started rounding up my neighbors and fellow citizens FOR ANY REASON WHATSOEVER (or anything equally as heinous), I would have no compunction about standing with my countrymen and women in opposition to the government. To the end, if necessary, because history demands no less.
  12. Crap on a cracker, the United States is still SO RACIST it embarrasses the shit out of me. I knew this before, of course, but if you think it's not, go ahead and take a look at the demographics of the Presidential vote. Trump's a terrible, awful, unapologetic bigot, and a bunch of white people voted for him and won him the election. Nice job, white people! The good news, of course, is that the current demographic growth pattern implies that won't always be the case. Which in part is what I think this election was about.

I'll end with Stephen Colbert's closing remarks from election day. Because they help restore equilibrium, and because I am not an animal.




*Please note that I have rewritten and edited this piece dozens of times since Election Day as I continue to process ALL THE FEELINGS. Much of the vitriol is fading, much of my courage is returning. Which is all to the good, I think.

2 comments:

The Mechanicky Gal said...

WHAT SHE SAID. It's like you read my mind, or KNOW me or something.

Stacey said...

Yes. ALL THE FEELINGS; churning all the time. Like a pot of water boiling on the back burner. I know I will get back to fighting the good fight, but right now, sad is still outweighing any other feeling. Embarrassment that this is who America says it is. It's not who I am. I will still continue to protect those who cannot protect themselves Suffragettes were bad-ass. I think people are about to see how bad-ass those of us who fight can be.

Right now? Donation, diligence about what Bills are being thrust into the forefront, phone calls to my representatives - Go Chuck Schumer - and enjoying my family for the holidays. Because we will survive this and I want to hold my family close and gain strength from their love.

I love you my sistah.