Chick Stuff - This Lotion Rules

Every once is while, I'm going to have to post about chick stuff. Because I'm, you know, a chick. For those of my regulars that have no interest, feel free to move along - nothing to see here.

This is the simply the best body lotion on the planet. It's sold by Allegria Spa, located in the posh Park Hyatt in Beaver Creek. No, I'm not a Rich Chick - I went there for a business event, and snagged the little trial size lotion in my room. I loved it so, I now buy the big bottles, which I'm sure was part of their nefarious plan.

It's Ginger Peach, which sounds odd, but has a slightly sweet, fresh scent, and I only have to put it on once a day. During a Colorado winter, that makes this stuff worth the money. Because it is expensive.

So grab some for yourself at www.allegriaspa.com, and you Smart Men? This would make a fabulous "just because" gift for your Hot Chicks. Cheaper than flowers, lasts longer.

We now return to your regularly scheduled programming.

The Gratitude Campaign

The Gratitude Campaign is a public service campaign to encourage average citizens to thank the members of our Armed Forces when they see them in public places.

I really like this idea. While I certainly can't claim to speak for all veterans, I like it when people make a small effort to recognize that I made sacrifices for my service.

For myself, I usually try to thank the vets I see without them knowing it. For example, if I see a person in uniform sitting down at an airport restaurant for a bite to eat, I'll pay for their meal and tell their waitperson to tell them "thanks for your service" after I've already walked away. Or I'll pay for a service member's haircut if I happen to be in the shop when they come in. I think little anonymous gestures like that go a long way in helping our service men and women feel that the people they serve appreciate them.

In fact, today at the grocery store I ran into a WWII vet. In this case, I did thank him in person. He got tears in his eyes.

Details on this program can be found on www.gratitudecampaign.org. Thanks to my brothers and sisters-in-arms!

Iowa Caucuses - Pass the Bong

So far, I've been pretty successful in my procrastination. I've been posting on this blog daily since November 29th, and thus far I've managed not to write about the presidential primaries.

Alas, now that the Iowa caucuses are done, the time has come.

First of all, who the hell thought up the system for the Iowa Caucus, and what kind of controlled substances were they using?

Herb: Hey, Sam, let's decide how Iowa will pick the presidential front-runners.

Sam: Sounds good, Herb. Pass the Bong.

**Sometime Later**

H: Hee, hee, hee! That's some good shit!

S: Duuuude!

H: We are so smart. We can totally figure out the coolest system for picking presidential candidates!

S: Pass the Cheetos.

H: First, let's divide the state up into 1,784 precincts. That's where all the action will be!

S: Pass the Doritos.

H: Think we should have a Bong at the door of each precinct?

S: Pass the Bong.

H: Nah, I don't want to share my good shit.

S: Pass the Nestle's Crunch.

H: Once the people are in the precincts, we can have them declare for whichever candidate floats their boat! Sort of like one of those black, spiritual churches!

S: Pass the Frito's.

H: They can each go to a separate area of the room, based on who they support, sort of like when you had to pick sides in an argument in elementary school!

S: Pass the Pork Chop on a Stick.

H: Then we can count each person in each group...multiply the number by the number of delegates allotted to the precinct...then divide by the number attending the caucus...DUUUUDE!

S: Pass the Fried Twinkies.

H: Dude, this system is going to rule! Soon all the states will be doing it this way! This is way better than simply voting!

S: Pass the Bong.

Ahem.

So it turns out that Romney's money didn't really get the job done for him, and Hilary's Machine™ isn't as infallible as we've been led to believe. Let's take a look at our current front runners, shall we?

Barack Obama is clearly a very bright man. I've read both his books, and his message of reconciliation and hope resonated with me. I want to believe that he's sincere in his intentions and beliefs, and I want to believe that his lack of experience in foreign affairs won't handicap him.

Unfortunately, no one passed me the bong.

In my mind, Barack simply does not have the experience necessary to successfully lead this nation during this time. We're in a state of war, and his experience in foreign affairs will be crucial to a successful administration. Additionally, his agreement to accept donations from rap stars who's lyrics are so offensive radio stations won't play them even in "clean" form belies his message of hope and dignity. Seriously, dude, hypocrisy much?

Mike Huckabee...well. At first I thought, "Here's another born-again evangelical who's going to save us from ourselves. Bleh. But at least he appears to be honest!" Yes, well, that last part's not entirely true, now, is it? Turns out former Governor Huckabee was using his office for illicit purposes, and taking money through dummy corporations because, you know, being a politician just doesn't pay as well as it should. Especially when compared to his stunning career as a Baptist Minister. That's where the big bucks are.

A lot can happen between now and November. It's absolutely possible that Obama and Huckabee won't be the contenders after Super-Tuesday. We could have Hillary's Machine™ and Romney, instead. Or John Edwards and President 9/11 himself.

Pass the Bong.

Who Cares? Magazine, Volume 2, Issue 1

Is Sean and Robin's breakup Sean's fault because he's an asshat? Who Cares!

The Mad Cow - I Have It

For those of you who don't watch Boston Legal, there's a character in the show named "Denny Crane," played by William Shatner. Denny is advancing in age, and as he does so, his mential acuity has begun to slip, leading to many opportunities to write funny and touching scenes surrounding what a mess he is.

One of Denny's bits is whenever he makes a mistake, he just points to his head and says, "Mad Cow." Evidently, the symptoms of Mad Cow Disease are very similar to those of Alzheimer's, and Denny would much prefer to have the Mad Cow than Alzheimer's.

Well, I appear to have the Mad Cow, too.

When I was in my twenties, I had a mind like a steel trap. I didn't keep a calendar - my calendar was my brain, and I rarely forgot anything. This lasted until my mid-thirties, when I evidently contracted the Mad Cow. It started out slowly - I would forget tiny things, like the details of a conversation, but would remember once other aspects of the conversation were repeated. As the years have progressed, my mind has come to more closely resemble a sieve than a steel trap, and damn, does it suck. I can't remember shit. I have to keep a calendar for both my personal and professional commitments. I chronically forget people's names. I can't remember the details of projects I work on. (To be fair to myself, that last one isn't entirely the Mad Cow - I work on hundreds of projects a month, so I keep design notes on each one to ensure I've documented my work.) I can't remember things my family members tell me.

That last one is the most frustrating. It's easy for them to interpret my forgetfulness as disregard, and so I try very hard to remember what they tell me. Unfortunately, I'm not always successful, and that makes them feel bad, which makes me feel bad.

Last year I finally went to see my doctor about it. She ran a battery of tests, and announced that my sieve-like memory was a result of "getting older." She made some recommendations surrounding "brain exercise," which I follow, but aside from that and cardiovascular exercise on a regular basis, there's really nothing to be done.

Swell. So now I need either Ponce de Leon or a BrainPal.

Back to Normal - Such As It Is

Well, the tree and Christmas decorations are down and put away for another year.

After our "holiday" dinner yesterday afternoon, we took everything down. Taking down Christmas decorations is my absolute least favorite chore of all time. So much so that I have a tendency to look for excuses not to put up the decorations at all, just to get out of taking them down. I've never done so, mostly because I can't bring myself to articulate why I hate it so. I suspect it has to do with the holiday let-down, although I'm usually relieved when the season is over and we can get back to normal (such as it is). I still have to write thank-you notes, though.

I have things to look forward to for the coming year.

My Smart Boy continues to grow and develop into a Smart Man, and will be a HS Senior in the fall.

My Smart Man and I will celebrate our 10 year anniversary this spring, and plan on taking a cruise in the fall to celebrate.

I'll be travelling to Montreal in July as part of my University's study abroad program.

We're hoping to travel to Ohio, home state of my Smart Man, for the Christmas holiday. This one's still iffy, as saving for the cruise has the priority.

I have a job I love, with reasonable job security and a decent salary.

And most importantly, I have family and friends whom I love, and they're all doing reasonably well. I can't ask for much more than that.

Santa is a Really Smart Man

We finished opening gifts last night with my Hot Mom and Smart Boy, and these were under the tree for me. Santa just gets Smarter all the time.

Have a Happy New Year, children, and let's hope this year sees our brothers and sisters-in-arms home safely.