An Ordinary Life

When I was a young person, I had an aversion to the idea that I might be living an ordinary life. My accomplishments (such as they were) were never enough for me, leading me to indulge in less than honorable behavior.

I don't know what the root cause was for this behavior (a work in progress, no doubt), but I've come to outgrow it. And I'm so glad.

I live a perfectly ordinary life. My accomplishments, while not extraordinary, are sufficient. I'm a good (though not exemplary) employee. I've grown into a decent (though by no means perfect) parent. I've learned how to be a faithful and (mostly) considerate spouse. I trust I've outgrown my tendency to be a less than stellar friend.

These less than extraordinary accomplishments aren't really anything to brag about. In my estimation, they're the minimum criteria for being a decent human being. And that's kind of the point. In the last twenty years I've come to realize that for me, being a decent human being IS the goal, and constitutes MY extraordinary life.

Now, in my mid-forties, I judge my ordinary life not only to be "good enough," but something to aspire to...and something that has led to satisfaction and happiness in my life.

Go, me.

For Me

Ten years ago today, I quit smoking. It was one of the hardest things I'd ever done, and here's the current list of health benefits I've accrued by doing so:

• 20 minutes after quitting: Your heart rate and blood pressure drops.
• 12 hours after quitting: The carbon monoxide level in your blood drops to normal.
• Two weeks to three months after quitting: Your circulation improves and your lung function increases.
• One to nine months after quitting: Coughing and shortness of breath decrease; cilia (tiny hair-like structures that move mucus out of the lungs) regain normal function in the lungs, increasing the ability to handle mucus, clean the lungs, and reduce the risk of infection.
• One year after quitting: The excess risk of coronary heart disease is half that of a smoker's.
• Five years after quitting: Your stroke risk is reduced to that of a nonsmoker 5 to 15 years after quitting.
• 10 years after quitting: The lung cancer death rate is about half that of a continuing smoker's. The risk of cancer of the mouth, throat, esophagus, bladder, cervix, and pancreas decreases.

People quit smoking when they're ready, and not before. I had a ton of support, both from my family and my health care provider. In truth - I still miss it. I occasionally dream about it. I'm happy I was successful, not only for my own benefit, but for my family's health and well-being, as well.

But make no mistake - it's absolutely the best thing I've ever done for me.

Chick Stuff - Nails and Lasers

Requisite Manly, Manly Image

Gel, and Not the Kind You Eat

A week ago I decided I was going to give the whole fake nails thing one more try. My friend Stacey was raving about how fabulous she had found her gel nails. I've always been somewhat ambivalent about fake nails- they're expensive and a pain the ass to maintain, and in almost all cases they look fake. But, technology has advanced, and I didn't want to be all "get off my lawn" about it, so off I went to have them applied.

My criteria's really pretty simple - I didn't want them to look like ass after the first week:

Pros: I like the clean look of the white tips, and they're strong as hell.

Cons: The cuticles are starting to look raggedy, and the edges of the gel near the cuticles is lifting just enough to show a difference in color between the edge and the main body of the nail.

I'll probably get them filled once or twice in order to form a long term opinion about them before I make up my mind about keeping them or not. But for now: Meh.

Laser, Light Saber, Whatever - Just Keep That Woman Away From Me

So I've been going to the clinic every 8 weeks or so to get laser tattoo removal treatment on a tattoo I no longer want. The first treatment went pretty well, and I went back a couple months later for the second. The technician who worked on me the first time wasn't there, so I was assigned to another woman.Well, I'm not sure what her problem was, but the tattooed area was a big bloody mess for a week after her treatment. It also took forever to heal, and there's a couple of specks of scarring, as well.

Needless to say, I complained about that experience, and I'm now permanently assigned to the woman who gave me my first treatment. I had my third treatment yesterday, and while it still smarts (it is a laser burn, after all), it's not bloody and looks more akin to what the first treatment looked like.* The tattoo itself is starting to look smudgy and faded, which is the point. Unfortunately I'll be in mid-treatment when we leave for our FABULOUS HAWAIIAN VACATION, but I'm finding the older I get, the less I give a good goddamn about stuff like that.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.


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*No, I'm not going to post photos until the treatment is done, especially not immediately following a session. Because it's gross, you see.

Boogie Blogging Friday - Sad and Lonely Edition

Poor Boogie. With my aggressive travel schedule this calendar year he's been a sad, lonely Boogie without me here to care for his every need every minute of every day. Evidently my Hot Daughter is not an acceptable substitute, since sad, lonely Boogie doesn't mind his manners very well - lollygagging when told to go lay down, sniffing around when people are trying to prepare food, and generally being a big pill. 

Hang on, Boogie - two more weeks of travel, then I'll be home for a while. I hope.

SO GLAD

So I'm sure everyone's heard by now that the President has decided that the Department of Justice will no longer be defending the constitutionality of the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA). DOMA is a putrid piece of discriminatory legislation championed by the homophobes of the right and religious fundamentalists who apparently have some sort of difficulty with that pesky Establishment Clause. GOOD RIDDANCE, DOMA. YOU SUCK.

While I am simply DELIGHTED that the President has decided to do the right thing here, I can't help but think that this may cost him a second term. And then I thought, "Who gives a shit? LBJ decided not to seek reelection on his own, and he's still the greatest civil rights President in history!*" And then I thought, "Well, I do, because I don't want some right-wing whackadoo as the CinC." And then I thought, "True, but such civil rights come at a political cost, and no one wants equal rights for the LGBT community more than me." And then I thought, "Being an adult is hard. I need a sock puppet, so I can simply agree with myself and be done with it."

In short, I'm very proud of our President, and I believe that whatever political fallout occurs as a result of his decision, it will be worth it. I hope, I hope.

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*Although he had other issues, for sure for sure, the man stood up on the issue of Civil Rights.

Brain Damage. Really?

I've been hearing lately on NPR how medical professionals are now realizing that playing football can cause repeated Traumatic Brain Injuries (TBI). These injuries are often followed by permanent brain damage. The NFL Players Union is trying hard to work with the owners to determine the best possible way to manage this risk on an moving forward basis, because it seems obvious at this point that those who choose to play football for a living are taking a huge risk with their long-term health and well-being in order to do so.

Now, I don't really care about football, or even necessarily about football players, except in the generic sense that I care about any human being who suffers a life-changing disability. I've always thought football really was a barbaric sport, with no redeeming social value except for what's derived from working on any team. My kids never expressed much interest in it, even as spectators, and my son never wanted to play.

So basically, I have no dog in this fight.

Given that, I don't understand - knowing what we know now about the long term risks associated with this activity, why is this sport still so popular? It causes BRAIN DAMAGE. IRREVERSIBLE BRAIN DAMAGE.

Now I realize that some of the activities I participated in when I was a teen weren't exactly risk free. Accidents happen, even when reasonable precautions are taken, and I'm sure my Hot Mom had more than a few white knuckle moments with me. My point here is that football has been shown to cause BRAIN DAMAGE even with reasonable precautions and protective gear.

I don't get it. At all.

Diversity in the Workplace

When I was in the Navy, one of the things I grew to love about my service was the incredible diversity inherent in the military as a whole. During the course of my career, I worked and lived with individuals from every state in the Union, every religion, every ethnic group. Whether the Navy approved or not, I also served with every sexual orientation.

And I loved it. It wasn't always easy - I was a privileged white girl with a thoroughly middle class background. I'd not been exposed to diverse cultures, and I made some pretty boneheaded mistakes. But I learned, and my exposure to other types of people has made me a better person and a better employee.

While understanding that the military is a unique immersive experience, I sometimes wonder why civilian corporations don't do a better job of encouraging diversity in their workforce. It seems like my industry (not just my company - my entire industry) is just one big white guy's club. Don't these companies understand how much value there is in finding and hiring a diverse, qualified work force? Don't they see how much talent they're missing out on simply by indulging in hiring practices that dictate they hire only people "just like them?"

I don't get it. Maybe because I'm not a white guy.


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