Enter...The Pergola

Thursday, April 26, 2012
So I was having a conversation with long-time pal and Sista From Another Mista The Mechanicky Gal the other day, and I swear, our lives are just one big example of entropy in action.
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The Mechanicky Gal: How's it going? We may be leaving the country for a year, but it's all good, because we'll be in the Middle East making a ton of money.

Me: Huh?

TMG: Yes, we'd be working in Bahrain, but we don't know if it's on or off. You know how it goes.

Me: Actually, I don't. It takes an enormous amount of work to have a life as boring as ours. You have to cultivate it.

TMG: So things are boring there?

Me: Not really. House guests coming and going, I may stab someone at work with a fork, we're dealing with young adult drama, and I need to make a real effort to give my mind a thorough housecleaning on this family shit once and for all. But that doesn't mean we don't try.

TMG: Understood. Drama-Me is always trying to shove her nose into my adult business.

Me: I KNOW. I hate that bitch.

TMG: So in other news, I tried to kill The Mechanicky Guy on Saturday.

Me: Wait...what?

THE KILLER PERGOLA
TMG: We've been building a pergola over the patio in the back yard, and on Saturday I dropped a beam on his head. I damn near knocked him out.

Me: Dude. You don't spend 25 years looking for the perfect companion and then bean him in the noggin with pergola parts. I LOVE The Mechanicky Guy - please don't kill him.

TMG: I KNOW. I SWEAR I broke his arm. As it was, it was just his thumb, and since he's taking muscle relaxers for his neck anyway, it may be that I didn't break it after all. I thought I could just lift it just a SMIDGEN and get the shims under it. Did I mention that it was 18 FEET long and 2" x 6"? Oh yeah, I'm not dropping KINDLING on my beloved's head, no way, only THE BEST.

Me: Poor Mechanicky Guy. I can't believe he puts up with us. On the bright side, I shall use this as a shining example of how the Smart Man should just COUNT HIS BLESSINGS, DAMNIT. At least I'm not trying to kill him with lumber.

TMG: True dat.

Me: I think you should decorate the new pergola with a Beyoncé Metal Chicken. THE MECHANICKY GUY WILL LOVE IT.

::cue crickets::
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I love my friends. 

8 comments:

Stacey said...

It's pretty easy to almost kill a spouse with lumber...not saying whether I was wielding or defending. Please let me know if I need to bring you a fork. It would be worth the price of admission.

The Mechanicky Gal said...

It was an ugly Saturday. But on Tuesday we rallied and overcame!

Nathan said...

I've been wondering why Anon GF has been dead-set against us getting a pergola. This may explain it.

(She keeps saying things about it being "too heavy", but I assumed she meant aesthetically.)

Janiece said...

Yes, but are you looking for the BEYONCE METAL CHICKEN?

Megan said...

And we love you. :)

The Mechanicky Gal said...

I bet I could find the BEYONCE METAL CHICKEN South O' The Border, along with the giant metal dinosaurs. Road trip anyone? Bring your passporto!

Janiece said...

If you end up with the BEYONCE METAL CHICKEN on your patio, I am going to herniate with laughter. After I take pictures and post them on my blog.

The Mechanicky Gal said...

It's not ENTIRELY out of the question.