On Sucking Up and Shining On

Wednesday, October 29, 2014



One of the "pleasures" in being a technical resource in a sales organization is that my work product and time are highly valued resources. In every organization where I've been employed, the sales staff far outnumbered the technical staff, which makes this pretty universal in my experience.

So naturally, the moment you show even a modicum of competence, suddenly everyone wants to be your friend.*

That's not necessarily a problem, of course - it's nice to be valued for your skills, especially when you're the token chick, as I've been most of my career. It's the way in which they try and accomplish their bogarting of my time. In a phrase, sucking up and shining on.

This ploy is so transparent it actually makes me cringe with discomfort when it happens. Of COURSE I want to be considered a top performer in my group. Of COURSE I enjoy having the respect of my colleagues and co-workers. But sucking up has always made me uncomfortable, regardless of who's on the receiving end. Because, EW.

I tend to gravitate more towards people who manage our relationship in a more professional way. If I've done good work, by all means, say thank you. If I've done poor work, by all means, call me out. But don't act like you're my best friend because you want me to prioritize your tasks over others'. It's beyond presumptuous, as it Implies you think you know me well on a personal level when that's clearly not the case. And what makes you think I like you at all? Studies show that typically any given individual is going to dislike 1 out of 7 people for no apparent reason. Just because I'm pleasant and professional does not mean I want us to move in together and share warm showers at night.

Because, EW.


*To be fair, the reverse is also true - if I could pick and choose the sales staff I support, I'd be all over that like stink on days-old fish. Just as I try to avoid the incompetents and the reprobates like the plague.

3 comments:

John the Scientist said...

On my first international business trip after grad school, I wound up getting nekkid with my colleagues at an Onsen outside of Nagoya.

You should try it. It's a team-building experience like no other. :D

Yogi said...

1 out of 7, eh? I think I must be about 2 deviations from the mean, then.
Which way, only my colleagues know :-)

Steve Buchheit said...

Oh yes, this. The "hey, yea, buddy, how's it been" ploy. Just tell me what you need, because I know I won't hear from those people until the next time they need my help.