Late last year, the indomitable Helen Mirren, professional badass, hottie, and Academy Award Winner, gave an interview to the Daily Mail and said, "At 70 years old, if I could give my younger self one piece of advice, it would be to use the words 'fuck off' much more frequently"
Like I said - a complete badass.
So I started to wonder, what advice would I give my younger self, now, at age 50? I'm quite sure it will be different than the advice I'll give when I'm Dame Helen's age, but I think it's productive to look back and try to determine what I've learned.
So here's my advice to my younger self:
- Pay attention only to what you expect from yourself. Other people's expectations should inform your own, but they should not be the driving force behind your decision making or life choices.
- Don't apologize for doing what you want. Don't apologize for communicating what you want. Don't apologize for saying "no" when that's the answer you want to give.
- Engage in self-examination, but at the end of the day, trust yourself.
- Make every effort to be a good friend. It's worth it.
- If there's a problem in a relationship, don't always assume it's your fault.
- Understand that other people have no obligation to meet your expectations. They have agency, and the right to do as they will.
- Let go of guilt.
- It's not your job to do all of the emotional labor in the world. Keeping the peace, maintaining distant relationships, caring for the egos of strangers - these are not 100% your jobs, and in many cases, they're not your job at all.
1 comments:
There's nothing shameful in taking anti-depressants.
You're allowed to ask to change Happy Doctors.
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