A Week of Gratitude, Day Seven - Family of Choice

Saturday, December 10, 2011
Family matters. Family matters a lot. They're the ones that pull you up when you've fallen, are honest with you when you need a kick in the pants and remain silent when you don't, and share in your triumphs and tragedies with equal passion.

But what I've come to realize is that those relationships are always, always a matter of choice.

I'm lucky to have a good relationship with my Hot Mom, who makes Perfect Pumpkin Pie, reads Rolling Stone, and is the kind of person who made a retirement career of supporting the arts and education in her community.

I have two great kids, who are smart, work hard, usually do the right thing, and are working to become contributing members of society. Bonus gratitude: I genuinely like them as well as being tremendously proud of them. 

I have fabulous Aunts and Uncles whose kindness and love I have come to value more and more as I've gotten older.

I have wonderful cousins who were unsurprisingly raised by my fabulous Aunts and Uncles to be kind, interesting people.

The Smart Man's family is also my family now. They're decent, hardworking people, who have broadened my own worldview by including me in their lives. Their love helps make me whole.

I have friends in my life who I consider family, and consider me the same way. The Mechanicky Gal really is my Sista-from-another-Mista, and I can't think of a single thing she could ask for that I wouldn't give willingly and without a second thought.

And yet, there are members of my birth family, both near and extended, with whom I have no contact, and that's exactly the way I want it. Being a member of a family has obligations and duties, both of which should be taken on voluntarily. If someone fails to meet a minimum standard of human decency, I don't feel an obligation to include them in my family, and in fact, their exclusion makes my family stronger.

I am a member of a strong, loving family. I'm committed to these people because I want to be, because I love them, because they love me. I'm grateful for them all, each and every one.

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