Like a lot of women in this country, I've never been satisfied with my body. Even when I was young and thin, I thought I was fat and unattractive, and experienced the kind of self-loathing that only a young woman with low self-esteem can muster.*
But now, in my middle age, I have come to realize this simple truth: My body works. And for the most part, it's healthy.
I am capable of exercising my body, and my body has the strength and flexibility to do the work. I can eat the foods I enjoy, and my body has the capability to digest them into the components it needs to thrive. I have been fortunate never to have been stricken by catastrophic illness, and my immune system is strong.
Am I the same size I was at 20? No. Do I need to continue to do the work necessary to maintain my body in a healthy way, including dropping some body fat? You bet. But I have that choice. My body is capable. And with so many others who struggle without the option, I'm grateful for it.
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*What is up with that behavior? I swear, when I look at photos of myself when I was twenty, I think "If I looked like that now I WOULD WEAR A BIKINI EVERY DAY, EVEN IN WINTER." But not then.
2 comments:
Amen to that "WTF were we thinking?" about the low self esteem. I am in slightly better shape now than when I was in my teens, since being a hermit does not lend itself to physical fitness or a sun tan. However, I was neither fat, nor ugly, as I told myself at the time.
And you're right. Physical fitness should never be taken for granted.
Thirding that "WTF were we thinking?" I look at photos of myself when I was in my teens and, while I didn't think I was fat, I also didn't think I was skinny enough (I had a lovely hourglass figure). Now I think, "Damn, why didn't I wear shorts and a tank top every day? I totally could've pulled it off!"
My health isn't optimum now, heaven knows, but even with everything that's happened to it over the last decade and a half, I rejoice that I am still active, that sometimes I am still pleasantly surprised by what it can do and that the chronic illnesses I do have easily managed.
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