2012 Flower Pr0n - Wildflowers

Anatomy of a Certification Exam

People who work in Information Technology typically have one thing in common: Professional Certification. These are usually proctored exams that are supposed to demonstrate your Mad Skilz with a specific vendor's product line such as Microsoft, Cisco, or Oracle. Oftentimes what they actually demonstrate is an ability to memorize esoteric facts, but that's another blog entry.

These are my thoughts when I'm preparing for a certification exam, littered with insecurity and the horrifying stories I tell myself. I have a distressing tendency to conflate my worth as a human being with my ability to perform, especially in a standardized test environment. Stupid brain.

Reading the Book, Part 1

Hey, I remember some of this. Maybe it won't be so bad.

Wait, what? What the hell does that mean?

What kind of ghetto outfit uses hubs for connectivity these days?

I should schedule the exam in two weeks. Surely I'll be ready by then.

Reading the Book, Part 2

Sigh. I'd really like to read something other than technical material.

Who the hell uses RIP-1 anymore? Seriously.

I AM A SUBNETTING GENIUS.

No, I'm not.

I bet I wouldn't have to take a proctored exam if I sold beer from a golf cart.

Taking the Quizes

Wow. A 48%. Clearly I'm not retaining the material very well.

100%! Take that! Wait...you've worked in technology for almost 30 years. You probably shouldn't be so impressed with yourself for understanding the OSI model.

36%. Clearly I have a bright future awaiting me in the food service industry.

Hey! It looks like I have a somewhat thorough understanding of IPv4 methodology!

69%. I think my Hot Daughter said they're hiring over at the Jack in the Box. At least I'll show up for work on time and not miss shifts because I'm in jail.

Taking the Practice Exams

Hm. I'm not increasing my score that much after I do remediation on the areas where I'm weak.

Why did I schedule the exam for only two weeks after I started studying?

Clearly, I'm not as smart as I think I am.

Fuck it. If I fail, I'll just have to schedule it again for next month after I've had time to do something other than cramming for two weeks straight. Or I can try and pursue an exciting career in lawn maintenance.

Exam Day

I'll just review the memorization tables in the futile hope that I'll be able to answer that one question which will push my score into the "passing" range.

Let the terror and self-loathing commence!

I wonder how much my salary would have to be if we downsized from the Big Yellow House to a Tiny Yellow House in a bad part of town?

Well, this isn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. But I'm still not optimistic.

I PASSED! I PASSED! I'm the Queen of the World!

No, I'm not. But at least I passed...

Colorado Adventures - Gasthaus Eichler, Winter Park

It's been a while since the Smart Man and I indulged in a Colorado Adventure, and we were glad to get back to it. We decided on Winter Park, Colorado, which is primarily a ski resort, but also has summer activities. If you like to bike or hike, this town is a perfect summer destination. The people were all friendly and everywhere we went the service was exemplary.

The Lodgings

Our room by the creek

We stayed at Gasthaus Eichler, a German style Guest House on Winter Park's main thoroughfare. Our room was clean and looked out over a local creek next to the hotel. The weather was mild enough that leaving the windows open was a good idea, but for city folk like us, the sound of a babbling brook (and the local railroad) resulted in our waking up often during the night.

Our hosts were Hans and Hannah - who obviously hail from the region where Gasthauses are common - and they were gracious, easygoing and attentive. The atmosphere of the place was relaxed and happy, with Hans and Hannah taking care of most matters personally. The cost was very reasonable, and we've put this establishment on our short list for return trips, because DUDE - THEY HAVE A BEER GARDEN.

The Food 

As is our custom, we chose to eat our meals in our hotel. Since Gasthous Eichler also has a German restaurant, that worked out great, especially for the Smart Man - he has an unnatural fondness for German dishes. His choices included Jagerschnitzel and Weinerschnitzel, while I limped along with Elk Medallions in a Red Current reduction and Lemon Caper Salmon. The German dishes were served with a variety of German sides such as sauerkraut, red cabbage and spaetzle, all home made. All our meals were delicious, and the cost was quite reasonable, as well.

The Activities

They blew the whistle a lot, too

On Saturday we decided to take a ride on the Georgetown Loop, a historic train pulled by both a steam locomotive and a diesel locomotive. It's a narrow-gauge railroad, originally installed to manage mining activities in the area. The views were pretty spectacular, and who doesn't like trains?

Sunday morning we decided to try something different, and got up early to visit Dog Sled Rides of Winter Park. It's too late in the season for the dogs to actually be pulling sleds, of course, but they have a summer alternative - the dogs pull modified golf carts, instead. You have to be there at 6:15 a.m. to ensure the weather's not too hot for the dogs to pull, which means it's chilly.

A well-earned water break

OMGWTFBBQ, this was so much fun. The dogs (like working dogs everywhere) were all anxious to be chosen for the "team," and the ones left in the kennel were obviously disappointed by this turn of events. And the ten dogs that pulled our cart were the best examples of "ready dogs" I've ever seen. They were READY. Ready to go, ready to work, ready to run. There was even a pup on our team named Blaze, not yet a year old. He was paired with a more mature animal named Gabby, who reminded me of many Drill Instructors I've known. Blaze would start to goof off, messing around in his harness, and Gabby would school him with a snarl and a nip, clearly telling the youngster to quit fucking around - this is serious business, young man. WE'RE WORKING DOGS, HERE. 

The dogs were all quite friendly, as well, as we got a chance to pet them after the ride as their musher unharnessed them and put them away. The moral of the story: A tired sled dog is a happy sled dog. Jeff, the proprietor, told us that they run sled rides all day every day during the winter months, with professional mushers on every sled.  Highly recommended!

The Long and the Short of it

We'll be returning to Winter Park as soon as we can work it back into our schedule, as we look forward to enjoying Hans and Hannah's hospitality, as well as another visit with the dogs.

Scarcity

You might have noticed that content has been a bit thin around here lately. There are several very good reasons for this, some of which I will actually share.

Dance, Internet Monkey! Dance!

1. I'm busy. Professional demands for my time have increased exponentially in the last several months, which leaves less time for everything else. Stupid mortgage.

2. I don't currently have much to say that I'm free to discuss publicly. I suppose that's true for anyone who blogs for any length of time - you occasionally need quiet periods where content becomes scarce and the place is dominated by photos of flowers and dogs. While I love my blog, this place is not how I make my living, so I don't feel compelled to force the issue. I'm pretty sure that doesn't make me a slacker - or maybe it does. Either way, I got nothing.

3. I am involved in a SOOPER-SEKRET PROJEKT. I can't discuss it here (BECAUSE IT'S SEKRET), but will do so when I can. It's taking up a significant portion of my free time, though, and will continue to do so, probably through June.

4. I'm out of Free Shit to give away. I haven't been making much jam lately (see items 1 and 3 above), and all the cool shit I had in queue is already gone. I'm not really interested in buying things specifically for Free Shit Friday, so we'll just have to wait until I start jamming again.

So there you have it. Hopefully July will be a little more scintillating around here.

2012 Flower Pr0n - Snuff Film Edition

Last night a storm came through our county, with attendant thunder, lightening and hail. Naturally all the outside plant life is now decimated. There's plant detritus scattered all over the yard and everything looks sad and pathetic. Sigh. I was doing so well at caring for them this year, too.

It's Monday, so Here's What's on my Mind

Crap on a cracker, I'm a sick human being. After determining that I would add 20 minutes of running* twice a week to my workout schedule, what I actually did was add 20 minutes six days a week. So my quads have been in a constant state of stiffness for a week. I think I need professional help.
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Boogie the Giant Schnauzer is recovering nicely from his traumatic dental experience. Which is good, because cooking his kibble until it's soft stinks up the entire main floor of the house, and his beard is a disgusting mess afterwards. Bless his pointy little head.
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I've been slacking on my recreational reading the last several weeks because I've been reading such fascinating tomes as SIP: Understanding the Session Initiation Protocol, and Interconnecting Cisco Network Devices. While professional development is important for a knowledge worker, the timing is unfortunate because my Summer Reading Program is right around the corner. I'm going to be logging my professional and school reading for the program, but I'd much rather log China Miéville's The Scar, which I may not actually complete until the end of the year at the rate I'm going. I guess I'll have to live vicariously through participants in the reading program. So please read something more interesting than Professional Unified Communications Development with Microsoft Lync Server 2010. Thank you for your cooperation. 
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If you're a fan of modern guitar blues, may I recommend Joe Bonamassa's new album, Driving Towards the Daylight? I don't know if this will usurp Sloe Gin as my favorite, but still - awesome.

 
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*Disclaimer: What I do is not exactly "running" since my pace is barely faster than my walking speed. One of the reasons I've always hated running is that I'm so very, very bad at it.

Boogie Blogging Friday - Going to the Dentist Sucks Edition

What do you mean, no snacks? I know there's some in the pantry! WHY DO YOU HATE ME SO?

Poor Boogie had an awful, no-good, horrible, terrible day yesterday. Yes, he had to go to the DENTIST.

He's been in need of dental care for some time, but since dogs have to be anesthetized to get their teeth cleaned, we were hesitant to get it done. He'll be eleven in November, and with his low-functioning kidneys, we were sitting on the risk/reward fence. But it finally reached the point where his vet thought his kidney function was high enough and his gums were in bad enough shape to schedule the procedure. And as long as he was out for the count, his vet removed a cyst above his right eye that's been weepy lately. That's our Boogie - a lumpy wonder.

Everything went very well, although he had to have two molars extracted (one due to a broken tooth and another due to decay). Not that he thinks things went well - the extractions mean he's off crunchy snacks for a few days while the gums heal, and THAT IS SIMPLY UNACCEPTABLE.