I Would Not Eat Them on a Train...

Wednesday, April 14, 2010
As any current or former member of the U.S. Navy knows, the culture includes certain "initiations" for watershed events. These include, but aren't limited to, initiation into the ranks of the Chief Petty Officer and Shellbacks, which means you've crossed the equator in a Naval ship.

Initiations of these types almost always include the consumption of various disgusting food items as part of the process. In deference to my more tender-minded readers, I'm not going to detail the choices here, but suffice it to say that they really are disgusting. I'm not talking about foods that are "different," I'm talking DISGUSTING. The more disgusting, the better, and the worse it smells, the better. I know whereof I speak - I'm an initiated Chief, and a Shellback.

Which goes a long way in explaining why I'm not really interested in eating things that smell bad, or looks like it's already been through someone, or has a texture that feels gross. Food is a source of pleasure for me, and I can't see the point of eating something that promises to be not a source of pleasure, but something that might induce me to projectile vomiting.

Why should I, when I've already consumed such cultural delicacies as balut, 1,000 year old eggs, and kimchi? And don't even get me started on "grog."

I'll stick with foods that smell good, or look good, or taste good, thanks.

13 comments:

Warner (aka ntsc) said...

Some of my favorite foods include liver. I do a chicken liver parfait which has been well received, essentially chicken liver flavored butter. It smells and tastes like liver, which is not popular in some circles, it looks like something my son left in a Pamper 30+ years ago.

Stacey said...

I'm with you Janiece. I don't feel the need to prove anything to anyone. I had to eat food my parents made me eat and since I'm an adult now, I feel one of the few luxuries is to be able to eat what the hell I want.

Womanji said...

nasty food is well just nasty. but I do like kimchi. perhaps we will have spicy asian food tonight for dinner - hummmm

mattw said...

I like to try new things, but I'm with you. I want to enjoy food, not gag as I'm eating it.

And how bad is it that as I read the headline for this post I automatically pictured a couple of the different pages of Green Eggs and Ham where that line appears?

Janiece said...

Matt, it's not bad at all. I visualized the same pages when I wrote it, as that was the Smart Twins' favorite Dr. Seuss book when they were your son's age.

Dr. Seuss FTW!

WendyB_09 said...

My SIL & I have been known to inflict very stinky Bleu cheese varities on the family. Good thing we all like the stuff!!

'bout as far as I go in the stinky food category. Although every once in a while I do like a little chicken liver with my onions.

mattw said...

I've never had liver. I've had liverwurst, and haven't really liked it, but I'd be willing to give liver a try.

Growing up in my parents' house, we never had food that my parents didn't like, hence I never really had fish (aside from tuna) until I was probably 16-18 (my dad doesn't like fish), I never had brussels sprouts until I was 17 or 18 because neither of my parents liked them. I'm sure there's more that I can't think of right now. And I discovered that fish is really good and so are brussels sprouts.

Janiece said...

Matt, take your stinky Brussels Sprouts and get thee gone!

Brussels Sprouts - disgusting.

mattw said...

I've recently tried sauteing said sprouts, leaving them in the pan long enough to get a little char on one side, and they are quite good. I've got to try and get Brandi's uncle to try them because he is of the 'brussels sprouts = disgusting' crowd.

Anne C. said...

The main problem with Brussels sprouts is that they're over cooked and then get bitter. I generally don't like them, but a friend did as Matt describes and they were really good!

Random Michelle K said...

Brussel sprouts--as with most members of the cabbage family--are an offense against nature.

(gag)

I really really really don't get the idea of eating something disgusting. There is lots and lots of good food out there, why waste time on something that is not enjoyable?

That said, I liked liver when I actually ate mammals.

ALSO...

My great-grandmother apparently used to make my grandmother's sister and cousin go out to the garage if they wanted to eat stinky cheese. :)

John the Scientist said...

What did I do THIS time? :D

Janiece said...

Not a thing. Just general commentary on all things gross.