"I'm a People Person!"

Monday, April 5, 2010
You know, I have NEVER understood what that means. A people person. Does it mean that you like people? That you like to be around people? That you have patience for the venal, the banal, and the stupid? That you think people are just SWELL? Or does it mean that you're an extrovert, someone who doesn't like to be alone?

Regardless of the definition used, I think it's safe to say that I'm not a "people person."

I don't "love people" in the generic sense. My stress reduction strategy requires that I spend time alone. Actually,  a lot of time. Crowds of people I don't know make me claustrophobic. Generically, I tend to think "people" are pretty unlikable - I find them venal, banal, or stupid. Or all three. Many people have bad manners, and I don't like to be around it. The worst part of my job is dealing with people that I consider to be unreasonable, unthoughtful, duplicitous or childish. Sometimes I'm so disgusted with the "evil that men do" I consider us all to be doomed.

Apparently, I'm just a bitchy curmudgeon, and I'll thank you to get off my lawn.

And yet...I enjoy my friends and my family.* I spend a significant amount of time caring for and doing for others, and I believe that doing so is a cornerstone of my life. I treasure my relationships with the people in my life, and I try to treat them with love and respect. There are aspects of the human condition that bring tears to my eyes, I'm so awed and impressed with what we've accomplished as a species. Occasionally I'm exposed to the kindness of strangers or some amazing piece of work, and I'm filled with hope.

I'm not sure how I can simultaneously hold the "people SUCK" and "people are SWELL" points of view, but there you have it. I think the former excludes me from the "people person" moniker, but I'm not completely without hope for our sorry selves. Regardless, I think it's fair to say that I'm eminently unqualified to ever work in "customer service," since being a "people person" is apparently required.

I find I can live with that.   

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*Within reason. We're not one of those families that lives in each others' pockets, needing to spend time together every day. Which pleases me, actually. You can't choose your family, and while I think I got pretty lucky in that department, that doesn't mean I want them underfoot every second of every day. I've also been told I'm a pretty low-maintenance friend, and I have to admit that I prefer low-maintenance friends myownself.

5 comments:

The Mechanicky Gal said...

I like people. It's the individuals I can do without.

vince said...

Just last week Michelle and I were having a discussion about attitudes towards people in general and our attitudes specifically.

I know people who self-describe themselves as a "people person" and by that mean that they like and enjoy being around people on a regular basis. They have jobs that gives them lots of contact with the public, and, for the most part, enjoy the jobs and enjoy the contact.

I deal with the public because I often must, given that what I do for a living is service-oriented. Sometimes I like that aspect, sometimes it sucks. But I'm fortunate in that I have a great deal of control over who I decide will be customers, and I don't have to deal with the public as a retail clerk, which would likely make me very stabby.

My faith requires that I love my neighbor as myself, and I try to live up to that. My nature is to be very cynical about people as a whole, which I don't necessarily think is in conflict with my faith.

Like you, I need (and enjoy) my time alone. I'm very picky about who (whom?) I spend time with, and am fortunate with both my online and meat-world friends, as well as with my family.

Anne C. said...

The description I've heard for introvert and extrovert is "under what circumstances do you recharge yourself?" If it's taking time out and being away from people, you're an introvert. If it's being around lots of people, you're an extrovert. My sister is a good example of a "people person" (aka, understands people and appreciates being around them) who makes sure to take time out with the few who really matter to her in order to recharge.

I am not a people person myself. I seek out the company of friends, but dealing with groups or "the public" inevitably drains me more than I like.

John the Scientist said...

I dunno, maybe your experience is colored like mine is. In the world of corporate America, "I'm a people person" often translates into "I'm so fucking incomeptent at everything else I have to tout my people skills, and the next stop for me is that dumping ground of flaming idiocy, HR".

That phrase just makes my skin crawl.

Janiece said...

John, you may have something, there.