A Stepfather's Eulogy for his Stepdaughter

Thursday, August 8, 2013


I was fortunate to have the opportunity to get a second chance to build a relationship with Moe. As a younger girl she and I had a hard time finding our way which resulted in angry and hurt feelings on both sides.

Shortly after she graduated high school we started over. Once we started listening to each other better we slowly built a trusting relationship and also realized we had a lot of common interests. Over time, I think we built a good relationship.

After Moe moved back in with Janiece and me and as Janiece's travel schedule for work increased we spent much more time together and grew closer.

One evening, when I arrived home from work, Moe asked if we could talk. She told me that she thought that our relationship had progressed to the point that she wanted to address me in a way that would indicate a familial relationship. We both agreed that “dad” or “daddy” would be inappropriate as that belonged to Kyle. Moe thought that “father” was far too stuffy, especially as most of our conversations consisted of comparing the merits of the DC vs. Marvel comic book universes, sharing casting news of the newest comic book movie, speculating on what the next George RR Martin book held in store for us and other topics of great import to a pair of lifetime geeks. So, Moe had a suggestion for how she would like to name me to which I readily accepted as I had always told her and John that they should call me whatever they felt most comfortable with, which until this time was my name.

I feel very lucky that Moe and I became friends first and then family by choice. I will remember her with love and sadness especially when I see geek news that would have made her smile and as the civil rights battle makes forward progress for the LGBT community.

As people go through life they acquire many labels that defines their relationships. For myself; son, brother, friend, brother-in-arms, husband, step-father, brother-in-law and uncle. The label that humbles me and that I will continue to work to be worthy of is the one that Moe chose for me … Poppa.

4 comments:

Anne C. said...

Love to you both. <3

mom in northern said...

To all the followers of HCDSM…
I do not have any others way to express this except through this blog.
I want to “Thank” each and every one of you for the love and support you have
shown my daughter and our family during this time of “Trouble”. Hugs to you all.

Carol Elaine said...

Love and support to you, SmartMan, and to mom in northern.

*huge hugs*

Womanji said...

Very beautiful and loving Smart Man. Love to the family.