A World of Thanks

Friday, August 9, 2013
As you can imagine, the last ten days have been the worst period of my life. I vacillate between being barely functional and wanting to crawl out of my own skin because I can't bear the idea of a world that doesn't contain my Moe-Moe. Usually I'm somewhere in between.

And yet, even in my darkest hours, I recognize how very lucky I am to be part of a tribe that loves and cares for me and my family so deeply. Moe's memorial service was standing room only, a testament to the many lives she touched with her courage, humor and grace. So I'd like to thank some people publicly, because without their love and support, the "barely functional" times would disappear in a haze of misery and grief.
In addition to dealing with his own grief and shock, the Smart Man has born the brunt of this horrible event for our family. There have been numerous tasks that needed accomplishing for which I've simply been incapable, and thanks to him, I've not had to try. How lucky I am to have such a partner, especially now. And it means the world to me that at the end of my baby girl's life, she had found in him her "Poppa," and he in her, a daughter.

The Smart Sailor was able to come home on emergency leave to attend the service and be with us. He's doing the necessary work to become the person he wants to be, and has grown into a fine man. I'm so proud of him, and so grateful he's here.

When Sister Stacey learned of Moe's death, she literally flew into the breach and was here in less than 24 hours, providing the emotional and logistical support we so desperately needed. Her love and friendship humbles me.

When Sister Stacey had to go back to New York, Sister-from-Another-Mister The Mechanicky Gal took the reins, and she did me the single greatest kindness in our long, long friendship - she read the eulogy I had written for Moe's service. I was incapable, and her strength allowed me to express my love and admiration for my daughter publicly without having to resort to a stranger.

There's a cadre of my birth family to whom I feel especially close, and they've been here, providing whatever we need, sharing our grief and inviting me to "Take a whack at Weeza." Mommy, Auntie Michel and Uncle Larry, Lisa, Bill, Kyla, Josh - thank you.

My Smart BIL has been here throughout, providing support to the Smart Man and acting as our minion with the thousands of details that needed attending to. He's not really my "brother in law" - he's just my brother.

Moe's own Sister-of-the-Heart helped to go through Moe's things, made suggestions for the service, and chose to speak at the service, as well. I'm so very grateful that Moe had a friend such as her throughout her life. Linda, you're an amazing person, and we love you.

The Smart Man, the Incomparable Anne, Stacey, Dale, Ocheane, Linda and my Smart BIL did me the enormous kindness of packing up Moe's belongings and placing them into storage so that I can go through her things when I feel able, regardless of when that will be.

And to the many, many people who attended the service, sent food, gave hugs, donated money to the GLBT Center and provided condolences, sympathy, love and support through all the mediums of communication: Even though I couldn't always respond, I heard you. I appreciated your kind words. It matters to me. Thank you.

6 comments:

Stacey said...

My sister, I'm sorry I had to do it for you. Her loss is felt thousands of miles away. I'm here whenever you need me because, "of course". You're free to come take a whack at Weeza anytime you want; no notice required. Your husband is amazing - not surprisingly - and his brother was the best minion ever.
Sending you and SmartMan hugs across the miles. OMG, did that just sound like a hallmark - oops? I love you more than I can put into words and am so glad you are in my family of choice.

mom in northern said...

Ditto
Hugs.

Anne C. said...

Count me in on the "sorry it was needed." I actually felt lucky that there was something I could do because the legions of friends who contacted me as an alternative to contacting you or the SM all had one question: "what can we do?"
I have dozens of other people's hugs to pass on to both of you.
You are greatly loved, my dear.

(Many thanks to Stacey, Tom, Amy, Linda, and everyone else who were able to help our Janiece in any way. You are wonderful friends.)

Megan Broutian said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Megan Broutian said...

I'm shocked by the news and sad for you. And so very sorry for your loss.

Carol Elaine said...

I am glad (and completely unsurprised) that the SmartMan, Incomparable Anne, Sister Stacey, fabulous MG and so many others have been able to be there for you, lovely Janiece. Quality people gather quality people around them and their love for and devotion to you screams loudly of what a quality person you are.

<3