Learning to Let Go

Saturday, April 2, 2016
Today the Smart Man and I went through everything in the storage unit where we'd been keeping Moe's things.

With the exception of her furniture (which we took care of with the help of the Smart Friend over a year ago), her things had been sitting in storage since her death, awaiting a time when I might have the emotional fortitude to go through them and decide what to do with them.

The process was easier than I expected. There wasn't as much as I thought, since she did the preliminary sort herself and took many things to the Goodwill before she died. The things that remained were mostly destined for the Goodwill or the dump, as the group that packed up her belongings when she died didn't throw anything away - they wanted me to have the chance to do it before any decisions were made.

We brought a few kitchen things home for the Smart Son to have when he gets a place of his own, and I kept two boxes for myself. I saved her gaming dice for her Sister from another Mister along with some Star Trek collectable glasses. But everything else is either gone, or will be gone by month's end.

It was time. They say time heals all wounds, and mostly I think they're full of shit for saying that, but in the 2.5 years she's been gone, my feelings about her loss have evolved from a gut-wrenching grief to a constant dull ache. I still cry about it. I still miss her terribly, every day. I always will. But I'm ready to let the physical reminders of her life go, and be content with the legacy that resides in my heart and my actions.

I love you, baby girl, wherever you are.

9 comments:

Carol Elaine said...

Love you, Janiece, always. ♡♡

David said...

I don't think time heals wounds so much as dulls them. You just get used to it. One of my favorite scenes in film comes from Lawrence of Arabia and involves extinguishing a match with one's fingers.

"Oh! It damn well hurts!"
"Certainly it hurts."
"What's the trick then?"
"The trick, William Potter, is not minding that it hurts."

It's a work in progress, I guess. I wish you hugs, I wish you peace.

mom in northern said...

Sigh...that is all...lov you

Megan said...

<3

Yogi said...

A dull ache, yes. I still cry too, almost 6 years later. (6 years? How the ever-loving hell did THAT happen?)

You are surrounded by good people. Such a blessing they are.

Always in our hearts.

Big hugs

Janiece said...

Thanks, all. It was a tough day, but I'm a bit more at peace for having does this work.

That can only be good.

Anne C. said...

I love you, babe. You are an inspiration.

Anne C. said...

I love you, babe. You are an inspiration.

Random Michelle K said...

Strength to you, and all the love. (So you can share it around more, of course.)