Janiece Saves the World, Part II - Term and Age Limits

Let’s talk term and age limits. 

I know Americans have been talking about term limits forever, and I think we can all agree they’re a good idea (except for those who have become rich over not having them). The problem, of course, is that those who make the law also benefit from the current law, so I don’t see this happening any time soon without a Constitutional Amendment. 

However, I’d like to go one step farther. Not only should we have term limits, but age limits, as well. 

Here’s how I would write the law:

• President: Two four-year terms.
• Senators: Two six-year terms. 
• Representatives: Four two-year terms.
• Supreme Court Justices: Two ten-year terms. 

But there should be a caveat: 

• If a candidate will be 65 years old at the time of their swearing in, they cannot run or be appointed. 
• If a candidate will be 65 years old at the end of their current term, but are not term limited, they cannot run or be appointed again. 

The reason I think there should be an age restriction is twofold. First, I’m tired of the United States’ future being decided by a bunch of old white guys who haven’t had to live in the world outside of Washington politics for the last 40 years. They’re out of touch with everyday Americans’ concerns, needs and wants.  And let’s face it – serving as a politician in DC is corrupting by its very nature. It takes someone with immense will and a strong moral compass to spend decades in Washington without compromising who they are and their values. 

The second reason is because everyone ages differently. Some people are as sharp at 75 as they were at 35, no question. But most humans’ mental faculties start to decline between 45 and 49. The University College London conducted a study which found a “10 year decline in reasoning was -3.5% in men aged 45-49 at baseline and -9.6% among those aged 65-70; the corresponding figures for women -3.6% and 7.4%.”

I want the public servants who control our country to have the best possible cognitive ability, not people who are demonstrably losing their shit.

::cough, cough – Reagan, Biden, Trump – cough, cough:: 

“But that’s age discrimination!” 

Damn right. Because science, bitches. According to these numbers, I’ve already experienced a 4.32% in my own cognitive function based on my gender and age. And I know for a fact my mind is not as nimble or flexible as it was in my thirties.

And as a side note, there’s already age discrimination in the constitution by limiting the minimum age of Presidents, Senators, and Representatives, which I also agree with. There should be a balance between judgement and cognitive ability. And I think we can all agree that twenty-somethings don’t always have the best judgement in the world.

I believe getting new people, new ideas, and more flexible brains into government is the right thing to do. They certainly couldn’t do any worse than the current occupants of the three branches of government. 

Janiece Saves the World, Part I - The Tax Code

Since I’ve not been writing for some time, I have a lot of things bouncing about in my brain. Some of these things make me want to take out an eye with a spork, some make me apoplectic with rage, and some make me happy. 

Unfortunately, in today’s world, the first two are far more common than the third. 

So I’m going to write them all down, and explain why I think I have some wonderful ideas. Many of these are not new ideas by any means, but they’re ideas I like, and I don’t see why I can’t add my opinions to those of the great unwashed. At least my ideas are back by research and facts. 

Yes, SUSAN, I am looking at you.

So today we’ll start with Part I, the tax code. 

(NOTE: Before someone starts bleating about socialism, you should know that I am a small “s” democratic socialist. That doesn’t mean I want the feds to control all aspects of production, or even most aspects of production. It does mean I believe in a welfare state. And by “welfare” I mean the actual meaning of the word:

“Welfare means the health, happiness, security, and general prosperity of a person, group, or community.”

What I don’t mean is so-called “welfare queens,” “freeloaders,” “moochers” or “welfare mothers.” Give people some dignity, why don’t you. 

So, balancing the budget. 

Even if the richy-rich-rich paid their full share of taxes, which they won’t, because ALL THE MONEY is still not enough, it would not close our existing $2 trillion budget shortfall, although it would certainly help. When you add in wealth taxes (typically cited as 2% annually for those whose net worth is over $50M and 3% annually for those whose net worth is over $1B), taxing unrecognized capital gains, and forcing the oligarchy to actually pay their fair share, we would still have a shortfall of ~$1T. 

So what’s the answer? I think it’s obvious (at least to a tax and spend liberal like myself) that we need to increase taxes. Let’s use Norway as an example, since they have a balanced budget and a surplus in some years. 

Here is their simplified plan:

• A 22% general income tax on net income (which includes capital gains)
• A 0-17.8% graduated bracket tax, with the poorest paying nothing, and the highest earners paying 17.8%. 
• Employees must also pay a mandatory 7.6% social security contribution from their gross earnings. 
• For corporate entities, a flat 22% tax on net corporate profits.
• In the Petroleum Sector, companies pay a 51% additional special tax. Note I did not say Energy Sector - only polluters have to pay. 
• Consumers also pay a standard rate of 25% on most commercial goods and services, with a reduced rate of 15% on food and groceries, 12% on public transport, cinema tickets and hotel accommodations.
• In addition, a net wealth tax on global assets exceeding NOK 1.9 million. The total rate is 1.0% (0.35% municipal + 0.65% state), rising to 1.1% on wealth exceeding NOK 21.5 million.
• Capital gains on securities and dividends are taxed at an effective rate of 37.84%.

That’s a lot of taxes, even up to 64.8%¹, not counting the sales tax! But what do they get for their taxes?

• Universal Healthcare & Medical Security with an annual out of pocket cap of ~$280. 
• Free universal healthcare for children including healthcare and dental
• 100% paid sick leave for all citizens funding by the welfare agency for a full year. No FMLA, no counted sick days.
• Parental leave policy which includes 49 weeks at 100% pay or 59 weeks at 80% pay, including a 15 week daddy quota. 
• Daycare costs are heavily subsidized by the government, with a legally mandated maximum cap (roughly $100 to $300 USD per month depending on the municipality).
• The state pays a monthly cash allowance (barnetrygd) to parents for every child from birth until they turn 18 to help offset the costs of raising them.
• Public primary schools, high schools, and universities are entirely tuition-free for citizens.
• Through the state fund Lånekassen, students receive low-interest loans and grants to cover their cost of living while attending college, a portion of which is entirely forgiven if they graduate on time.
• If a citizen loses their job, they receive a daily allowance equal to roughly 62.4% of their previous income for up to two years while they retrain or job hunt. Two years. Not 26 weeks.
• The National Insurance Scheme funds a universal basic retirement pension for all citizens, which is scaled upward based on lifetime income.
• Tax revenue funds highly complex civil engineering projects, including keeping remote Arctic roads clear, building extensive tunnel systems, and heavily subsidizing eco-friendly public transit networks. As opposed to, you know, collapsing bridges and potholes that would swallow my Mini. 
• The government aggressively reinvests taxes into environmental initiatives, which historically included massive tax breaks and structural perks for electric vehicle (EV) drivers. 

That’s a LOT of benefits. Without having to pay for many of these things, the tax rate doesn’t seem so awful, especially for the Norwegian equivalent of the middle class. 

Would such a plan work in the United States? I don’t know, I’m not an economist and I don’t have Paul Krugman, Robert Hall, or Michael Woodford on speed dial. But it has to be better than watching people die for lack of adequate medical care, seniors having to choose between their groceries and their medication, and people having to work until they literally drop dead in order to pay off student loans. 

¹Let’s all remember that the United States’ maximum tax bracket was between 90% and 94% between 1944 and 1963, and the wealthy still had plenty of money for yachts, homes on Martha’s Vineyard, and Deluxe Apartments in the Sky.

The barbarians are at the gates, and they're us

 

So. The rabidly incompetent Secretary of Defense and the demented President are planning on live-streaming the execution of Nidal Hasan, the convicted Fort Hood shooter who killed 14 soldiers in 2009. 

I have questions.

Let's start with if Nidal Hasan had been a White Christian Nationalist who had killed 14 soldiers, would the Pentagon and the Executive Branch want to livestream that person's execution, or is this something special, trotted out specifically for Muslims? The answer is self-evident. 

Firing squad. A firing squad. Really? Who are the soldiers who will be tasked with shooting Nidal Hasan? Will they take volunteers? Will it be assigned, like a collateral duty? Will all the weapons be loaded? What if a soldier refuses to participate on moral grounds? Will they be court-martialed? And let's be clear, here - the military has the authority to use any one of several methods to execute a convicted soldier. They don't have to use a firing squad, they're choosing to. Crap on a cracker, what a moral shit show.

Whose idea was this? Trump's? Hegseth's? Miller's? Not that it matters - the entire chain of command (and some not in the chain of command) are responsible. 

Who actually believes this is a good idea? Certainly not "Whichever way the wind blows" Vice President, who has indicated he will not be watching the event. And really, how morally bankrupt does an idea have to be before Vance draws a line on the other side of the Republican establishment?

If the House of Representatives didn't already have good reason to impeach Hegseth (war crimes, anyone?), they do now. Where are you, Republicans? Oh, that's right. The same place you've been for ten years - with your nose planted firmly up Trump's ass.

And lastly, what the fuck. No, seriously - what the actual fuck? For decades we've tsk-tsked the governments who have engaged in public execution as barbaric, primitive, untrustworthy, uncivilized. And now we're going to do the same because the administration is being run by the mentally unstable Insane Clown Posse? 

Have you no sense of decency, Congress, at long last?

Reconciling Lolita

 

One of my goals for this year is to read some classic literature that I missed during my schooling. I have a list of books on the agenda, and I'm spacing them out between my popcorn books so I don't get burned out. 

July's selection was Lolita, by Vladimir Nabokov, narrated by Jeremy Irons. It's the story of Humbert Humbert (H²), a pedophile whose actions, obsessions, and selfishness creates a most terrible outcome for everyone involved.  

First and foremost, Nabokov writes beautifully. His exposition provides a clear mind's-eye picture of H² and Lolita's experiences, without burying the reader in prose. His ability to turn a phrase into something so clearly descriptive is a wonder. 

Jeremy Iron's narration is also wonderful. His voice is perfect for the main character (written in the first person), with all his conflict, mental illness, selfishness, compulsion, and delusions. 

However, the subject matter of this book is....problematic. 

H² is the worst kind of pedophile. He grooms Lolita to be his lover, taking advantage of her lack of experience, and manipulates the situation to his twisted ends. And they are twisted. He's completely delulu when it comes to Lolita, thinking that she seduced him, so apparently his long-term abuse of a minor is a-okay. And while Lolita is a spicy kid, she is still a child, incapable of giving consent. 

And the worst part? H² knows what he's doing to her. He hears her sobbing in the night after she thinks he's asleep, he knows what he's doing is wrong (or why take such elaborate measures to hide their relationship?), and he simply does. not. care. 

As long as he has access to his "nymphette," he doesn't really care what happens to other people, or how his obsession is hurting the one person he claims to love.

In short, he's a complete and utter douche. Nabokov makes him completely unlikable, and if the character were flayed at the end it would be too good for him. 

So, how to reconcile Nabokov's craft with this most disgusting of characters? I'm still not sure. While listening, I spent a lot of time saying things like "EWWW" or "that poor child" or "dude needs to be keelhauled for his trouble." 

Would I recommend others read it when they don't have to? I have to say yes. The yuck is worth the study of Nabokov's writing, and how beautifully the author sends H² into a death spiral of obsession and hubris, selfishness and abuse. Will I reread it some day? Almost certainly not. There's only such much ew I can take. 

Welcome Back!

 

Welcome back! 

I haven't written consistently in a long, long time. Part of that is that blogs just aren't the medium anymore (hello, Substack), and part of that is a stunning lack of inspiration. 

However, one of my goals for this year is to resume writing on a semi-regular basis, on whatever subject suits me. I'll be cross-posting on my Substack, as well, since apparently that's where all the cool kids are, but I'll never give up this URL, or the history. 

RSS feed on the side, and link to my Substack above. 

I missed you guys. 

Saving those who cannot save themselves

My favorite picture of Moe, cosplaying Belle from Beauty and the Beast

As most of my readers know, I lost my daughter to suicide in 2013. It's been nine long years since we lost her, and I'm as sorrowful today as I was the day she died. 

Moe died of uncontrolled mental illness. She experienced severe depression, and was under a doctor's care for her condition. But we lost her anyway, leaving a Moe-shaped hole in my heart that nothing is able to fill.

Every day I mourn her loss in this world, and I would give everything to have her here with us again. But I can't have that, so instead I choose to perform service projects in her memory such as being a good ally to the LGBTQ+ community, and donating money to institutions she cared about, like our local library foundation.

And I also support  AFSP's mission in helping people who are at risk overcome their lack of hope and help those who have been affected by suicide.

This is the sixth year I've been up to participating in this event personally, but this will be the ninth year the Maureen's Marchers team is hitting the road in my baby girl's name on the annual Out of the Darkness Denver Metro Walk. The money raised in this event will go to fighting suicide and supporting AFSP's goal to reduce the suicide rate 20% by 2025.

The danger of suicide is especially high within the LGBTQ+ community. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, suicide is the second leading cause of death among youth aged 15 to 24 and the third leading cause of death among youth aged 10 to 14. Among youth who identify as sexual minorities, the likelihood of death by suicide has been estimated to be two to seven times greater than the likelihood of death by suicide among heterosexual youth. These kids need help, and it's up to us to provide it in any way we can.

Please help us honor our lost, beloved Moe-Moe and consider donating to the AFSP by clicking the "Donate" button on this page. All donations are 100% tax deductible and benefit the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP), funding research, education, advocacy, and support for those affected by suicide. The AFSP is a Charity Navigator 4 star charity, and they spend 83.1% of their total budget on program expenses.

"When you are sorrowful look again at your own heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight." ~ Khalil Gibron

DONATE

The value of conservatives

This was in my inbox this morning, and gave me some food for thought. 

As I continue to sort my thoughts regarding the schism in our country, I have come to realize that I don't - and never have had - a personal issue with conservatives when the word is used to describe the pre-Reagan Republican Party. I no longer agree with their platform, but I consider them the loyal opposition, and understand they're worthy of a place at the table. There is value in balancing the desire and need for change with the cautiousness of conservatism in a democratic republic. I used to be a Republican, after all.

There are still a few public servants out there who fall into this category, although they're few and far between these days. Mitt Romney. Liz Chaney. Susan Collins. Lisa Murkowski. The GOP calls them "RINOs," Republican in Name Only, and they're right - they are RINOs. Instead, let's call these Congresspeople conservatives, while the rest of the GOP can keep the moniker "Republican."

Because in today's political climate, to be a "Republican" politician is to work to undo our democracy through any means necessary to achieve Republican goals and to support the ultra-rich, disregarding the will of the vast majority of Americans. And if you stand by, see what's happening and do nothing, then you forfeit any claim you might have had to public service and patriotism, and you certainly forfeit any claim to the word "conservative." 

There are those who consider Islam, or liberalism, or progressives, or the boogie-man de jour an existential threat to our country and way of life. But I think it's those who would support autocracy who pose the biggest threat. Autocracy and authoritarianism are the exact opposite of how Americans are supposed to govern ourselves, and supporting it is the most unAmerican thing a citizen can do. 

January 6th was an insurrection, an attempted coup, and those who planned and executed it should be prosecuted to the full extent of the law, regardless of who they are and what positions they may have held or hold today. And those who passively supported it should never be allowed to influence our government again, in any capacity. Let them pay for their cowardice by becoming pariahs in the present and excoriated in the history books of the future. 

More on Lashes

As you all know, I recently tried lash extensions in an effort to reduce my beauty requirements during our upcoming trip to Italy. This experiment was NOT a success, so my friend Cindy, a master aesthetician, recommended Le Grande Lash serum to see if I could get those suckers to grow, and here's my status report.

Before: 

After:

After, with makeup:

I'm going to call this a success, especially because I really don't want my lashes to be any longer with mascara than they are now. 

This is not a look I believe I can pull off at my current age. I do wear glasses, after all, and I live in a high-wind area. What if I took flight?

I think I'm going to stick with the Le Grande Lash product from now on, and my trusted and true Blinc mascara. Ciao, Baby! 

On Gas Prices and Partisan Politics

I'm getting pretty tired of hearing all the bitching about high gas prices. Not because people are bitching, though - higher gas prices are a burden for folks who don't make a ton of money. I've been in that economic bracket, and it sucks, big time, especially when wages haven't kept up with inflations since what? The late 70's?

No, I'm tired of it because (AS USUAL) it's become a partisan talking point which ignores all the facts in service to party talking points. So I did some research, and here are the results. Take it, leave it, stick your fingers in your ears and sing "Lalalalala" all day, I don't care. But the next time this silliness comes up, I'm referring the purveyor to this blog post.

• The price of gasoline is not controlled by the President - ANY President, regardless of party. If it was, the United States really would be a socialist nation, because private enterprise would all be nationalized and operated by the government. But our government doesn't have that power, regardless of the way the right flings the word "socialist" around without actually knowing what it means. 
• According to the U.S. Energy Information Administration, the top five sources of U.S. petroleum imports were from: 
• Canada - 52%
• Mexico - 11%
• Russia - 7%
• Saudi Arabia - 7%
• Colombia: 4%
• According tot he U.S. Energy Information Administration, the top five sources of U.S. crude oil imports by share of total crude oil imports in 2020 were:
• Canada - 61%
• Mexico - 11%
• Saudi Arabia - 8%
• Colombia - 4%
• Iraq - 3%
• Based on these facts, it seems pretty evident that the bad guy in this scenario is - surprise, surprise - BIG OIL. Consider:
• Exxon, Shell, BP, and Chevron have their highest profits in seven years, over $75B. Yes, that's billion with a "B."
• Exxon, Chevron, and Conoco are using 40% of these massive profits to execute stock buybacks instead of lowering gas prices. 
• These companies are laughing all the way to bank (or the Cayman Islands, same-same) while Americans struggle to fill their tanks. This is what they've always done, and will continue to do, because they're rewarded for this behavior beyond the dreams of avarice. 
• The Keystone Pipeline is not a factor in gas prices, regardless of what Tucker the Entertainer tells you. 
• The Keystone Pipeline is complete. It currently carries 540K barrels of oil per day.
• The Keystone Pipeline only carries "tar sands oil," not crude oil, which isn't used to make gasoline. 
• The Keystone Pipeline is owned by a Canadian company and comes from Canada. This makes it an import.  
• The extension of this pipeline (Keystone XL) has been cancelled by the private Canadian company who owns the pipeline. The US government did not force them to do this, they examined the cost-benefit analysis and made a decision base on profitability, which is what private companies do. If we lived in a socialist state, then the president could take control of these lands and nationalize oil production/distribution. But again, we don't, so you can't blame the President (regardless of political party) for failing to do so. Unless socialism suddenly isn't destroying America, in which case the Right has some explaining to do.

I'm in no way saying Russia's invasion of Ukraine has not had an impact on oil prices. But in this case, I don't think it's an entirely a case of "supply and demand." I think it's a case of "Oil executives can never have enough money, regardless of how much they get." 

But as usual, mass media and partisan talking-heads and politicians are trying to make it out like it's Biden's fault, or Trump's fault, or anyone's fault except our own corrupt system. Imagine what we could accomplish if we started holding the right people accountable. Just imagine. 

_________

ETA: My friend Alex reminds me that this "we should be energy independent!" trope is going around again. Except we don't WANT to be energy independent because we still want to drive huge, low-MPG vehicles, and support fossil fuels, and fail to support renewables. If we want energy independence, then we have to actually, you know, DO something about it beyond bitching. 

Thoughts on the State of the Union

I got up early this morning to watch the recording of last night's State of the Union address.

As a general rule, I tend to think SOTU addresses are performative, both for the President and the current "loyal" opposition. In many ways, I just wish Presidents would just write a memo. The SOTU is required under the Constitution, but it's not required that it be given in person. Phoning it in would be less dramatic, however, and that's really half the point, these days.*

It's no secret that as a general rule, I like President Biden. I think he's a committed, dedicated person of good character, and has the best interest of ordinary Americans in mind. I don't agree with everything he does or says, because the only President where that would be the case would be me, and I have zero intention of ever getting involved in political service again. 

So onto the speech itself. 

Russia and Ukraine 

The President rightly called out the multilateral action being taken by the Western world in support of Ukraine as the Russian invasion continues. After the last administration shredded our standing with our traditional allies, the President's accomplishments in healing those rifts should be front and center in the list of his accomplishments. Democracy matters, and countries that violate international law should absolutely be held accountable. Go, Uncle Joe. 

COVID-19

The President called out our new "normal" in terms of the pandemic. I think the best thing that can be said of the pandemic is that from now on we're going to have to treat COVID the same way we treat the flu. A new vaccination every season, some people are going to get it no matter what, and yes, a certain number of people are going to die every year of this disease. I appreciated that he asked EVERYONE to stop considering pandemic response as a political talking point. It's a reality, and will continue to be present in our lives the same way all human disease is present. So let's stop treating it like it's a political issue. It's not. It's a public health issue, and should be treated as such by all concerned. 

"Defunding" the Police

Since Biden was never in favor of defunding the police (Faux News talking points aside), I think it was smart of him to touch on this specifically and reiterate that the solution is not to defund the police, but to offer other solutions to the problems faced by police forces all over the country. Like funding more human services resources so that the police are out there dealing with crime, rather than dealing with the mentally ill, people who are neurodiverse, etc. 

Social Programs

It seems certain that the whole "Build Back Better" thing is a dead duck. Instead, the President is focusing on other social programs such as voting, innovation, etc. Here's where things get sticky, at least in my opinion. All of the things the President wants to do are wildly popular with American voters. But none of them are being brought to the Senate for a vote because of Republican filibusters. I guess they figure that if they're not actually called upon to vote, then they can't be held accountable for the fact that their party opposes tons of legislation their constituents want? They're not really fooling anyone who's actually, you know, paying attention, but since so many Americans don't pay attention, it's probably working. 

Republicans

Ah, Majorie Taylor Green and Lauren Boebart, you are the freeze-dried whackaloons that just keep on giving. Both of them DRAMATICALLY turned their backs on the Cabinet as they entered the chamber, and as usual, Lauren Boebart just couldn't keep her pie hole shut. Her outburst in the middle of the President's remarks regarding cancer in members of the armed forces was completely off-topic, non-sensical, and - of course - unseemly. What is it about SOTU addresses and Republican outbursts? Republican Representatives - keeping it klassy, one SOTU address at a time. 

Inflation and the Economy

The President tried to address inflation, but the fact of the matter is that he can't control inflation, just like no other President before him could. I've never held the President accountable for the economy, for the most part. I didn't hold former President Trump accountable for the COVID economy, and I don't credit former President Clinton for the booming economy during hi Presidency.

However, it's no lie that our economy has grown 5.7% in the last year, the largest growth in the last 40 years. It's no lie that our unemployment numbers have dropped in the last year. It's no lie that inflation is steady and growing. And it's no lie that the deficit will drop by over 50% at the end of this year, while the deficit went up precipitously under the former administration. I also agree with the economists who note that the American Rescue Bill has helped the economy tremendously. It's also worth noting that this Bill passed without a single Republican vote. Which didn't stop Republicans from going home and telling their constituents how great the Bill was, re-elect me, why don't you. Because of course it didn't.

I agree with the issues the President called out as things we can accomplish as a nation if we just end the partisan bickering and get to work: 

• The opioid crisis
• Giving mental health services the same resources as physical health services
• Support our veterans
• Cancer research

I have a hard time believing Republicans can't agree to these initiatives, but since 2015 they've catered to the lowest common denominator, and it doesn't seem they can stop stooping lower and lower in order to reaffirm their position as the sycophants of former President Trump's cult of personality. So they'll probably oppose any measures related to these issues, as well, because they can't be valuable if a DEMOCRAT proposes them. 

I also find it extremely interesting that based on CBS's poll of voters, 78% approved of the President's SOTU address. So I consider this a win for Uncle Joe. 

______

*Now get off my lawn. 

Lash Extensions Review

 

This year, the Fam intends to go to Italy for a well-deserved overseas vacation.* In order to have a maintenance free beauty experience, I thought getting lash extensions and a wash and wear haircut would be indicated. I haven't moved on the haircut yet - my regular stylist is out on maternity leave and I don't trust anyone else to cut my hair that short, but I thought I'd give the lash extensions a whirl to see if they'd suit. 

The short answer: No. No, they don't. 

Here are my lashes prior to the lash extension application:

Here are my lashes immediately following the first lash extension application:

And here are my lashes two weeks after my first fill:

As you can see, my left eye held up pretty well. This is about what I'd expect after two weeks, as I had anticipated a need for fills twice a month or so. 

My right eye, however, was a fricken disaster. The lashes on my right eye started falling off almost immediately, and continued to fall off at an accelerated pace compared to my left eye. I adhered to every recommendation the esthetician gave me including not getting them wet for 24-48 hours after application, a special washing formula with a custom brush, only brushing them out with a clean spoolie when they were dry, wearing a sleep mask since I sleep on my right side and friction with my pillow might have caused the surgical glue to come loose. Nothing changed this outcome. 

Since the left eye was in good shape at the end of the two week period after both the initial application and the refill, I don't fault the esthetician for this outcome. Clearly she did a good job based on the results on my left eye. My right eye is just a PITA when it comes to this service.

So I'll be letting the remaining lashes fall off naturally, and stick to my tried and true Blinc mascara from now on. Lash extensions are expensive, and unlike permanent makeup, it's an ongoing, monthly expense to maintain them, plus requiring two trips a month to the lash studio. Applying mascara daily takes one minute, and I only have to buy new mascara four times a year. 

Thoughts for a New Year

 

And so, 2022 begins, much like 2021 began.

2021 wasn't ALL bad. For most of 2021, I took better care of my body. I got to spend time with my Sistahs and their incomparable Fellas. No one I know personally lost their life to COVID or complications from COVID. The Smart Man started a new job, which he genuinely likes. I got promoted and received a raise. I saw my niece marry the love of her life, a splendid young man who sees the light in her, just as I do. My Mommy continues to enjoy good health and still lives independently. The Smart Son is settled into his career, and doing well. 

U.S. economic output jumped 7% in the last three months of 2021. Overall growth for 2021 was ~6%, and is predicted to grow another ~4% in 2022, the highest growth the U.S. has seen in decades. America's economy improved more in Biden's first 12 months in office than any president during the last 50 years, largely due to Democrats' American Rescue Plan. Democrats have also earmarked $1.2 trillion for long delayed and much needed infrastructure investment.*

But let's be honest: 2021 wasn't really a good year, either. We're still dealing with the Omicron variant of COVID. Over 5.5 million people have died of coronavirus so far. Trump Republicans (which seems like ALL Republicans these days, the cowardly fuckers) continue to politicize vaccines and masks, ensuring more Americans will die unnecessarily of this disease. Additional Americans will die because there will be no hospital bed for them, as ICU wards continue to fill up with unvaccinated COVID patients. 

We've watched the Republican party lose their collective shit and whatever pretense they once had of living in a fact-based world. We had an insurrection in our capital, which retRumplicans have basically denied, and over the last year, we've continued to be exposed to the Big Lie. Much of the country believes the Big Lie, and take pride in their complete lack of critical thinking skills on this topic. 

How can I, as an individual, live a happy and meaningful life while watching the fall of the country I spent so many years defending? How can I come to terms with those who refuse to vaccinate and mask for the common good, because "freedom" or selfishness or "you're not going to tell ME what to do?" How can I help prevent our nation's fall while the far right continues to use such an effective fascist strategy to cement their power and disenfranchise all who don't agree with them? 

This has been on my mind of late. No one knows how long the pandemic will last, especially with the virus evolving so quickly, and worldwide vaccination hovering at less than 50% of the population. "Waiting until it's over" no longer seems like a viable option. I don't know that life will ever return to a pre-pandemic state, and I feel that I need to find a new normal, a new way to live in this new world. My depression has been going through peaks and valleys this year, and caring for my mental health is now something which requires a new strategy. 

It's very tempting to isolate myself, ignore the latest shenanigans of the retRumplicans, surround myself with like-minded people who I know will do whatever's necessary not to spread disease. But that's clearly not the answer. As a citizen dedicated to the rule of law, I have an obligation to try and save that which I've fought for. As a human being who cares about our species, I have an obligation to try and do whatever I can to help humans move past this pandemic, whether those humans chose to support the common good or not. 

It's a conundrum. At the very least, I think I'm justified in deciding to spend time only with those who have chosen to get vaccinated and follow the CDC's recommendations regarding masks. I don't want to get sick, or worse, make the high-risk people in my life sick, because of someone else's political beliefs. I will continue to follow the science, regardless of how politicians try to make the science a matter of political opinion rather than a fact-based thing. 

As for our country, I will continue to vote my conscience, I will continue to call out bullshit wherever I find it, and I will continue to stand up to the bullies who would shape our nation into an oligarchy to serve their own purposes and quest for money and power. I will continue to support politicians who live in a fact-based world and at least behave like they care about other human beings.

But is that enough to find peace of mind in this new world? My mind constantly spins on what I can do to make the rest of my life meaningful, and happy, and to help build a world where the Smart Son can live without fear. It doesn't feel like enough. I don't know if anything I do will ever be enough. I fear I'm losing hope, which would be the worst possible outcome. 

So my focus for 2022 will be "hope."  Hope for a world where the common good is a priority for the majority of humans. Hope for a country on the brink. Hope for myself and my family, that we may find meaning and joy in a changed world. 

Just...hope.

_________

*I say "Democrats" because these measures passed without a single retRumplican vote, even though those duplicitous bastards claimed credit for them to their constituents. All the retRumplicans have done is complain about the cost, conveniently forgetting that the freeze-dried whackaloon they choose to follow presided over the third largest increase in National Debt in our country's history, right behind George W. Bush and Abraham Lincoln, both of whom were paying for wars. Hypocritical, lying motherfuckers, the lot of them. 

The Whackadoo Lauren Boebert

 

So. Lauren Boebert. Congresswoman for Colorado's 3rd Congressional District. Gun rights advocate. Restaurateur. The recipient of a GED in 2020. Also dangerous, too stupid to breathe, hypocritical, and radical. 

I have to ask, 3rd Congressional District voters - what the fuck were you thinking?

From a recent public speaking event: 

I am tired of having Godless people who hate America run this country! You and I are going to take this country back!

Let's unpack, shall we?

I am a godless person. I don't believe in any gods, and am basically completely irreligious. And yet, as an Atheist, I strongly disapprove of rhetoric that encourages violence against other humans, religious or not. Not so Boebert, who believes Muslims make baby Jesus cry and should be eliminated, by a bullet if necessary. 

Danger score: 9

Stupidity score: 7

Hypocrisy score: 11

Radical score: 9

Apparently I also hate America, along with other liberal Americans. If only there was something I could do to prove how much this country means to me, and how strongly I believe in the Constitution...perhaps something like serving the United States in uniform for half my adult life. 

Danger score: 5

Stupidity score: 11

Hypocrisy score: 9

Radical score: 7

Boebert also believes that someone has stolen the country and made off with it like a thief in the night. I wonder who she thinks these thieves could be? I wonder. Could they be people who think that working a 40 hour work week means you shouldn't live in poverty? Or people who believe lobbyists should not be permitted to bribe our representatives? Or maybe it's people who want to ensure children aren't shot to death for the crime of going to school. Could it be people who think a progressive tax rate with no loopholes for profitable corporations or ka-billionaires is the right thing to do? Oh! I know! It's people who think the punishment for being poor shouldn't be a death sentence because you can't afford health care! And I'm also going to take an abductive leap, here, and include "everyone who's not white, Christian, CIS, straight, and inexplicably believes they're entitled to equal treatment under the law" to that list. 

Danger score: 7

Stupidity score: 6

Hypocrisy score: 10

Radical score: 11

Again, I have to ask -  3rd Congressional District voters, what the fuck were you thinking?

Whoever runs against Boebert - in both the primaries and the general, if she runs - will be receiving some of my hard earned dough to beat this whackadoo. She's a national embarrassment, and the sooner she's relegated to the obscurity she so richly deserves, the better. 

Anger, Grief, Regret, and the Pursuit of Peace

In 2011, my biological sister chose to end our relationship without telling me why, and we haven’t spoken since. 

This is not something I’ve previously written about. Partly because my anger has kept me from organizing my thoughts in a meaningful way, and partly because parts of this story aren’t mine to tell. But after years of therapy and introspection I feel like I’m ready to write about the parts of the story that are mine, in order to try and reach some level of peace. 

For years after she cut me off, I was incredibly angry and hurt. I felt betrayed and used, and came up with explanation after explanation as to why she had disappeared from my life, each more reprehensible than the last. I was so angry and hurt I never reached out to her, nor would I permit any family member to do so on my behalf. 

This went on until we lost my daughter Moe to suicide in 2013. I was so destroyed by this loss the best I could do was to to ask an extended family member to notify her of Moe’s death before the note Moe wrote to her and her husband arrived via the mail. While I felt no obligation to let my sister intrude on my grief, I thought being notified just by the note would be unkind in the extreme. She chose not to reach out to me at that time, and to be honest, I was relieved. I literally had no emotional labor left for anyone else - I barely had the emotional energy to continue living.

Instead, a week following Moe’s death my brother-in-law chose to text every member of the extended family to tell us that he hoped we all burned in hell. No exceptions, not for people who had been nothing but kind to them, not for those who had not taken sides in the estrangement, not even for my son, who as a child I had allowed to build a relationship with them, just as I had with Moe. What precipitated this choice? I don’t know. I have no idea what Moe wrote to them prior to her death. It was critically, vitally important to me that I abide absolutely by Moe’s wishes after her death, so after the coroner's office reviewed everything Moe left at the scene of her death I simply mailed the note to my sister and her husband, exactly as Moe had asked. After those text messages were sent, I gave up all hope of ever having my sister as a part of my life again, and my anger burned anew. I considered such an unkind act at a time when every member of our family was torn down by grief to be unforgivable, regardless of the motivation. To be honest, I still feel that way. 

A number of years later, I found out that her husband had passed away. I found out long after the fact, almost incidentally. Again I chose not to reach out to her, even though I suspected how difficult his death must have been for her. How could it not be? They spent their entire adult lives together. But I was still so angry and hurt not only by the initial severing of the relationship, but by her continued silence following my daughter’s death, that I could not bring myself to do so. She and her husband had made it abundantly, hatefully clear that neither I nor any member of the extended family was to contact them, ever again. So I didn't.

And yet, I grieve. I grieve for my lost relationship with her, and the years we’ve lost, and will continue to lose. I regret what I did to precipitate this break, not even knowing what that was. I regret not having the opportunity to make amends for that hurt. I regret that we were not able grieve together for the child we both loved so dearly. And I grieve that I see no way forward from here. 

I’m not the same person I was eleven years ago. How could I be, after losing my only sibling, and then my Gram, and then my only daughter, and then an Auntie I loved like a daughter, and then my beloved mother-in-law? I don't think my sister is the same person either, after her own pain and suffering. 

But how do you mend such deep pain? How can you let go of the anger and hurt and start anew? Is it even possible? I don’t know. For over a decade, my anger has been a festering burn in my heart, bringing me nothing but grief and regret. It brings me to tears of rage, it steals my sleep and my peace of mind. Until today, I’ve not expressed that anger in any meaningful way except to my therapist and those who know me best, because what difference would it make? My anger won’t change the outcome, and I believed that expressing it would just bring more drama into my life when all I want is peace. 

And now, I've finally reached a point where I'm ready to make room for my grief in addition to my anger. My own journey in working through my feelings won't change anyone's perspective but my own, but I do believe it will help me in my quest for peace. And that's reason enough to write about it, I think. 

She’s still my sister. I still love her. I still want her to have a happy and healthy life, even though she's decided I can't be a part of it. My hurt and anger wouldn’t be so deep and abiding if I didn’t still care about her, still miss her presence in my life. 

No one is the villain in their own story. It’s taken me ten years of therapy and self work to admit that while I've always considered myself the injured party in this story, she almost certainly feels the same. Does she also have regrets? Does she miss me at all, as I miss her? I have no way of knowing. She’s made it clear she doesn’t want to hear from me, and I’ve respected that wish, initially because of my anger, and later because even though I hate the decision she made, she’s a grown woman with agency who commands her own destiny. She has the right to determine who will be part of her life and who won't, just as I do. 

But I'll still grieve for this lost relationship, and probably will for the rest of my life. I'll regret that she found it necessary to sever our connection, whatever the reason. I'll continue to work through my anger, grief, and regret, to try and reach a point of peace and acceptance. Because these are the only things I can do. 

Magpie Designs

 Are you looking for a reasonably priced, meaningful gift for someone in your life? 

(Begin shameless self-promotion)

How about a custom, hand-inlaid ring in the materials of your choice? I'm introducing my new side-gig, Magpie Designs. I'm making such rings for sale, as well as making them for my friends, family, and as incentive gifts for those who donate $500 or more to my favorite charity, the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. 

Here are some examples of my work:

"Forged in Dragon Flames"
Crimson Opal and Dragon Scale Opal in Black Ceramic

"Waterloo Sunset"
Fire Burl Dichrolam in Stainless Steel

"Delirious Nebula"
Deep Space Opal in Cobalt Chromium

"Tiger Bones"
Tiger's Eye in Black Ceramic

"It Might as Well be Spring"
Forest Green, Wasabi Green and Black Polymer Clay in Cobalt Chromium

Each of these pieces represents different techniques and materials, and is named for a song that represents the vision I had for the ring. 

If you're interested in commissioning a ring for yourself or someone else in your life, visit Magpie Designs and see what I have on offer. I'll be taking orders for guaranteed delivery by Christmas through November 1st, best effort after that. Thanks for considering my creations!

On the 8th anniversary of your death

 Today is the 8th anniversary of your death. In some ways, it feels like I've been bearing this burden of grief forever - it's part of my life, and carrying it is my "normal," whatever the hell that means. 

But in other ways, it feels like I learned the news of your death just yesterday, and my grief is still a raw, blistering thing that lays upon my heart like an anvil. 

I'm doing better this year than last, since last year was simply unbearable for a variety of reasons. But it always hurts, and will continue to hurt, for the rest of my life. As the analogy goes, grief comes in waves. Sometimes I can catch it and ride it to shore, and other times it wipes me out, leaving me tumbling through the sea like a piece of flotsam during a storm. 

Regardless of whether it's a terrible year or a bearable year, I will always, always love you, each and every day of my life. I will always, always honor your life and work to make the world a better place in your name. I love you, baby girl. 

________

July 31, 2013 was the worst day of my life. It was the worst day of my life because that was the day the Police Department came to our home to tell us our precious daughter Moe had died of suicide at the age of 22. 

Moe died of uncontrolled mental illness. She experienced severe depression, and was under a doctor's care for her condition. But we lost her anyway, leaving a Moe-shaped hole in my heart that nothing will ever be able to fill. 

Every day I mourn her loss in this world, and I would give everything to have her here with us again. But I can't do that, so instead I choose to perform service projects in her memory such as being a good ally to the LGBTQ+ community, and donating money to institutions she cared about, like our local library foundation. 

And I also support AFSP's mission in helping people who are at risk overcome their lack of hope and help those who have been affected by suicide. 

This is the fifth year I've been up to participating in this event personally, but this will be the eighth year the Maureen's Marchers team is hitting the road in my baby girl's name on the annual Out of the Darkness Denver Metro Walk. The money raised in this event will go to fighting suicide and supporting AFSP's goal to reduce the suicide rate 20% by 2025. This goal is especially challenging in our current situation, where people are still feeling isolated, anxious and uncertain of what the future will bring. 

The danger of suicide is especially high within the LGBTQ+ community. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, suicide is the second leading cause of death among youth aged 15 to 24 and the third leading cause of death among youth aged 10 to 14. Among youth who identify as sexual minorities, the likelihood of death by suicide has been estimated to be two to seven times greater than the likelihood of death by suicide among heterosexual youth. These kids need help, and it's up to us to provide it in any way we can. 

Please help us honor our lost, beloved Moe-Moe and consider donating to the AFSP. All donations are 100% tax deductible and benefit the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP), funding research, education, advocacy, and support for those affected by suicide. The AFSP is a Charity Navigator 4 star charity, and they spend 83.1% of their total budget on program expenses. 

"When you are sorrowful look again at your own heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight." ~ Khalil Gibron

Thank you for your support!

So Exhausting

 

Yesterday while reading the news, I discovered that the CDC has changed its guidance regarding masks due to a large uptick in COVID infections across the country. In areas where the Delta variant is running amok, they now recommend even vaccinated people where masks indoors where there are many people present. 

I also read that resentment of people who refuse to get vaccinated is growing - even among Republicans - as we continue to struggle to move past the pandemic.

Then I read this morning that even vaccinated people, i.e., yours truly, may be carrying a significant viral load of the Delta variant, even while asymptomatic. 

What this means to me is that I am now a danger to those around me who are not vaccinated. It means it's possible I've already had COVID, masquerading as summer allergies. It means I have a responsibility to society to prevent spreading this illness to those who either refuse to get vaccinated, or those who cannot get vaccinated.

And I have Feelings about this. 

Mostly I just find the whole thing exhausting. It was very easy to get out of the habit of masking up when going out in public, with the exception of air travel. It was a delight to start socializing with folks outside our "cell."* It was a pleasure to get back to the gym for strength training without having to wear a mask. And now we have to go back. 

I want to be clear about something - I am absolutely willing to go back to mask wearing for the sake of those among us who are immunocompromised, or can't take the vaccine for other medical reasons. As a member of, you know, humanity, I have an obligation to do so. It's a minor inconvenience, after all, and doing so costs me nothing and may save someone's life. Go, saving someone's life. 

But I have to admit that doing so for the sake of the knuckleheads who refuse to get vaccinated because "freedom" or "you can't make me, neener-neener-neener" or "it's all a radical liberal plot" sticks in my craw just a little. 

I absolutely believe in agency when it comes to health and safety. You want to ride your motorcycle down the interstate at 100mph without a helmet? Fine. There's a reason ER personnel call such folks "organ donors," but whatever - it's your noggin. You want to forego a seatbelt because in 1 out of a 1,000 accidents being thrown from the car results in the person not dying? You do you, boo. Clearly you flunked statistics, but again - whatevs. 

But vaccination is different. An individual's decision not to get vaccinated does not affect just them. It affects all of us, in every community. It decreases herd immunity. It puts stress on our health care system. It increases the probability of folks who cannot be vaccinated getting sick and dying. It puts the burden of the health of the willfully unvaccinated on the shoulders of those who committed to the idea of the common good and herd immunity. And while I'm having some trouble mustering up sympathy for new COVID cases among the willfully unvaccinated, those who cannot get vaccines should not be subjected to additional risk because I (or anyone else, for that matter) refuses to wear a mask because they don't understand science, or "freedom," or they get their medical advice from unqualified, partisan politicians, or they just don't give a shit about anyone else as long as they're not inconvenienced. 

I don't believe vaccines should be mandated on a public level.** Such an edict would contradict my core values. But I do think the unvaccinated should be made to reduce their public life for the sake of public health. Don't want to be excluded from a cruise or an airplane or a public event? Then get vaccinated. Don't want to get vaccinated because you're a putz? Then restrict your public movements. 

It really is that simple for me. And I find the politicalization of vaccines and science to be disgusting, immoral, and shameful. 

You'll see me on the other side (of my mask, that is). 

________

*We only socialize with people who are 100% vaccinated. We still have high risk people in our lives, and even before the CDC changed its guidance, we were taking no chances with their health and well-being. If that offends you or hurts your feelings, sorry-not-sorry. 

**I'm a-okay with vaccine mandates for certain professions such as healthcare workers. As a veteran, I fully understand the need to give up some control of my medical care for the sake of the group, and while I understand such things may stick in the craw, it is my belief that doing so is a public good from a Kantian point of view. 

Self-Care Saturday

 

Last year after the lock-downs started, the Smart Man and I gained the dreaded "COVID-19." Since we weren't exactly slender to start with, this soon became a problem from a health and fitness perspective. 

So in May of 2020, we endeavored to lose some weight. The Smart Man had already been slowly losing for the previous year, but we both got serious in May, and we were pretty disciplined in our program. 

Since May, I have lost 68 pounds, and overall, the Smart Man has lost 40 pounds. Since sizes these days are so inconsistent and vanity driven, I'll say that this translates into a six size reduction in my clothes based on the Levi's brand. I was going to try and lose five more pounds as a stretch goal, but I'm incredibly tired of dieting, so I'm sticking with the original goal - a 22.3 BMI, right in the middle of the healthy range.

We're pretty proud of ourselves for this accomplishment, but really - now the tough work begins. I've always been able to lose weight when I decide I need to do so. It's the maintenance that kills me. This cycle of yo-yo dieting isn't good for me for a variety of reasons, so the next year will require a lot of vigilance on my part to ensure I remain within the weight/size range I've set for myself. I'll check back in at this time next year, and hopefully I'll look exactly the same. 

Before. (Sorry for the crappy picture - it's not like I really wanted to photograph myself when I looked like this.)

After. 

Ramona the Feminist

Today is a very sad day for me, as Beverly Cleary, whose books helped make me a lifelong bibliophile, has passed away at the age of 104.

Like my friend Carolyn, I found Beverly Cleary's Ramona books utterly relatable. I was a younger sister, and my sister would often tease me and called me a "pest" in the same way Beezus would tease Ramona. It bothered me at the time, but now that I have the perspective of age, I realize now how large a compliment it was, even though she didn't mean it that way.

Ramona was unapologetically RAMONA, and that is a splendid thing to be, indeed. As Carolyn notes, she took up space in the world when girls and women were expected to shrink their true selves to accommodate the egos of men and societal norms. Not Ramona, who had a very large heart and cared for others, while simultaneously trying to find her worth in the world. She knew she had value, but the circumstances of her age, gender, birth order, and social norms combined to label her Ramona-ness as something to be criticized, suppressed, devalued.

Ramona the Pest was published in 1968, when I was three years old. The expectations for girls were evolving, but the toxic social norm of deferring to boys and men because girls were "less than" was in full force, and continues to this day, to a somewhat lesser degree.

For me, the lesson of Ramona was that it was right to become frustrated and upset when I was being disrespected based on my gender, my age, and the expectations of others. As I grew, I lost that lesson for a long time, and trying to twist myself into something I wasn't for the comfort and benefit of others made me deeply angry and resentful. But Ramona stayed with me, quietly reminding me that my feelings were valid and worthy of consideration and I should not sacrifice my well-being in service to the patriarchy. The result? Now that I'm older, I still rage against the machine but I am more content in my efforts, knowing the goal of egalitarianism is not an aberration but a desire for society to be its best self, without marginalization and suppression of the other. My goal is morally defensible, and utterly correct.

The real feminist in this story is Beverly Cleary. And she expressed the essence of feminism - the right to be who you will and make the choices that define you - through Ramona. Ramona the Pest, Ramona the Brash, Ramona the Egalitarian, Ramona the Brave, Ramona the Feminist.

Thank you, Beverly Cleary, for writing stories about ordinary kids with ordinary problems, who nevertheless dream of greatness. Thank you for influencing generations of girls in a positive way, giving them permission to be who they are, and to view themselves through the lens of self-determination. You will be missed in this world, but Ramona - and all your characters - will live on.

Achievement unlocked: Creating lifelong readers.

Beware the Ides of March

 

Today has been kind of a strange day. 

As many of you know, today is the birthday of my twin children, Moe and the Smart Son. Since we lost Moe to suicide in 2013, this day has been a tough one for me, and given how tough her death anniversary was for me in 2020, I really had no reason to anticipate this day would be anything other than a bloody train wreck. 

But it isn't. The first thing I thought of when I woke up was the fact that it was the Smart Son's birthday and I needed to transfer some birthday bucks to his PayPal account. Not the twins' birthday, just the birth of my surviving child. In fact, I didn't even think of Moe's birthday until Sister Stacey sent me a text early this morning letting me know she was thinking about me, and it still took me a second to realize what in the Sam Hill she was talking about. 

I'm not sure how I feel about this. 

On the one hand, I have guilt that Moe wasn't the first thing I thought of this morning. I do still think about her daily, but she's no longer the first thing I think about as soon as I wake up. And when I compare my almost-non-reaction today to my emotional reaction in years past, it almost seems as if her presence (and absence) in my life is no longer as important to me as it once was. 

On the other hand, moving forward with my life (and taking part in other people's lives as they move on, as well) is the natural order of things, I suppose. Should I be happy that I can think of her with love and gratitude without also experiencing heart-wrenching grief? I honestly don't know. Losing her, especially to mental illness and suicide, is without exception the worst thing that has ever happened in my life. 

Is the fact that my strength in managing my grief is increasing a sign of healing and hope? Or is it a sign that my grief reactions are changing because she's not as important to me now that there're some years between her death and now? 

I wish I knew.

Moe would have been 30 years old today. I miss you, Pumpkin.