Subjectivity

Monday, August 22, 2011
So Friday night was the monthly get together for the ladiez in my family, and as usual, the topics ranged far and wide, from the power of forgiveness to gossiping about people we don't like.

One of the topics that came up was who our celebrity boyfriends were, and the choices were as diverse as my family.

While we all allowed that Jason Momoa was suitable eye candy for anyone, the choices were wildly divergent from there. Patrick Stewart (my Hot Mom). Johnny Depp (my Hot Aunt). Neil deGrasse Tyson (me and my Hot Mom). Shemar Moore (my Hot Cousin). Someone even mentioned Pauly D, which made me throw up in my mouth a little, but whatever - it's all subjective.

But it did get me to thinking. The things I find attractive are far different now than when I was my Hot Daughter's age.
  • Being overweight isn't a deal breaker. But letting yourself go to the point where you can't participate in the activities that give you pleasure is. The Mechanicky Gal and I call this the "Too Fat to Walk" rule.
  • Going bald or grey isn't a deal breaker. But wearing a toupee or dying your hair is.
  • Not having higher formal education isn't a deal breaker. But lacking intellectual curiosity is.
  • Not liking the same kind of books as me isn't a deal breaker. But not liking to read for pleasure is.
  • Being a person of faith isn't a deal breaker. But being intellectually dishonest by denying empirical facts in order to protect your faith is.
  • Not making a ton of money isn't a deal breaker. But lacking generosity of spirit is.
  • Not voting the same way as me isn't a deal breaker. But failing to use your franchise intelligently and defensibly (or at all) is.
  • Not having the same belief system as me isn't a deal breaker. But thinking it's your responsibility to proselytize until I change my mind is.
Your mileage will almost certainly vary - so feel free to add your own thoughts in the comments.

8 comments:

Mrs. B. said...

You ladies have good taste in men! Jason Momoa and Johnny Depp ~ mmmmmmm. Neil deGrasse Tyson, well, I just can't imagine any woman on earth not seriously crushing on the guy. I'd add John deLancie as my secret drool-inducing admiree ~ and the fact that he's recently grown a goatee just adds to the allure.

Mr B has never read for pleasure and that's not a deal breaker for me. He's the yin to my yang. He's not prone to flights of fancy or sitting around contemplating "what if...?" I kind of nudge him into at least thinking about some of the more unanswerable questions; he keeps me from living in my head too much.

When I find out a man seems to have a good sense of humor, social consciousness, integrity, guts, and the brains to express those beliefs intelligently, I can find them attractive no matter what they look like.

Why do I feel like I should add likes long walks on the beach and must love animals?

WendyB_09 said...

Mrs. B - I KNEW I liked you! John DeLancie, yum.

So, my list would add Harrison Ford. And after seeing Contact again last night, probably Matthew McConaughey as well.

Unfortunately, Patrick Swayze is no longer with us.

Phiala said...

Shemar Moore, yum! I'm a Criminal Minds fan, and enjoy watching him, but I think Matthew Gray Gubler is adorable too. (I didn't know who Jason Momoa was; pop culture is so not my strength.)

Beyond the eye candy, Neil Gaiman is a long-time celebrity crush. I have a second celebrity crush, but am uncomfortable naming that person in public because I know them personally and would really hate to come up on someone's Google search saying so.

I agree mostly with your list of criteria, but my big thing at the moment is competence. Doing stuff, figuring out how to do stuff, not just talking endlessly about how one should do stuff.

Competence.

Try. Fail. Fail better next time.

Janiece said...

Hm...competence.

I agree, Phiala, there's a big attraction there. Although I think it's probably too much to ask for someone to be competent in every field, all the time. But competence in something? That's a subset of being SMART, one of my key criteria.

Phiala said...

Oh, not everything, or I'd have to spend all my time alone! But something, preferably more than one thing.

The Mechanicky Gal said...

Being a Douchebag is definitely a dealbreaker.

In any context.
Just thought I'd make myself clear.

Janiece said...

Um, yes. Douchebaggery is definitely off the table.

Anne C. said...

I know exactly what you mean, Phiala. It's a big turn on for me too. If a guy is good at his job... whoooeee... (It actually applies to women, too, but more along the friendly lines.)
I can be friends with someone without knowing if they're good at doing something (you're right, being a good talker is a different category altogether), but when I do see someone excelling at what they do, hell-O!