Value in History

Monday, August 4, 2014
Last week I was perusing Humans of New York, and came across a photo with the following narrative:
"What’s been your greatest accomplishment?"

"Keeping in touch with distant friends and relatives."

"Why is that important?"

"It’s important to always have people who remember you at various stages of your life. It’s especially important as you get older, because there are less of those people around. And they remind you who you are."
I thought this was especially insightful, because when you keep in touch with people over the long haul, there's a personal history there that may not be available with newer friends. They've seen you at your best, and at your worst. You can't hide from them and pretend that you've always been this fabulous example of intellect, fortitude and good judgement, because they know better. You may not be that person any more, as everyone grows and changes as they age, but they have a firm grasp on who you were and where you came from.

So Saturday night I attended an annual party for the riding group I belonged to during my childhood and teen years I was somewhat reluctant to go this year, as Moe died shortly after our last reunion, and I wasn't sure I was up for seeing so many people who knew of our tragedy, but whom I hadn't seen since it happened. I had a few "wet eyes" moments, but by and large it was a pleasant experience, and everyone was very kind. A number of these people read this space on a semi-regular basis, and have kept track of my grief journey through my writing here. That makes me feel more connected to my past, and glad that I decided to look back at this particular part of my life.

These experiences are not the same as high school reunions, or making contact with those who peaked in High School, or snickering at how fat the mean girls have become behind our hands. We realized last night that some of us have known each other for 43 years. We haven't been in each others' lives that entire time, but it's easier to reconnect with people who have made progress in their personal growth and left behind the emotional childishness that comes with being a teenager.

I love and cherish my current circle of friends - the UCF, the Mechanicky Gal and Sister Stacey, the Smart Friend & Co., certain colleagues with whom I've remained friends after leaving a particular job. But there's value in recognizing the shared experiences of my old friends as well. They knew me "when," and help me to remember that, as well. 

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