Random Thoughts and Rules to Live By, Part 13

Phrases like "politically correct," and "taking my country back" are, more often than not, dog whistles for someone's intense discomfort in having to give up their unearned privilege. And in many cases, these same people are utterly unaware of that fact, even if it's completely true in their case.

In Remembrance

Today I learned that my blog circle, The UCF, has lost one of our members. Dr. Philip Edward Kaldon - known to all as "Dr. Phil" - was our resident physicist, author, pusher of deep-dish pizza, funny man, photographer, and all around good egg. He is survived by his lovely wife and companion of 32 years, Debbie, known here as "Debbie the Librarian." We grieve with Debbie, and stand with her in love and remembrance.

Back to the stars, Dr. Phil, from whence you came. The night sky will shine a little brighter in your light.

photo by Al Bogdan

Link Me Up, Scotty - Justice Edition

A Marine officer who was teaching at the Naval Academy is found guilty of conduct unbecoming an officer, indecent conduct and fraternization with two Midshipmen. He thought he was getting a raw deal, so he convinced an investigative reporter from The Washington Post to do an in-depth investigation of the case in an effort to boost his chances of exoneration. Be careful what you wish for, cupcake. There's not a single person in this story that didn't exhibit poor judgement at the very least, and Major Mark Thompson deserves whatever he gets as long as it's not full retirement.

H/T Shipmate Jim
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Porn sites have banned NC users from their sites due to their discriminatory bathroom law. Karma, you are a spiteful bitch, and I love you for it.

H/T Brother Juan
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Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sottomayer on why the Supreme Court needs more diversity, not only in terms of race, gender and creed, but in educational backgrounds, too. The more I read about her, the more she's becoming my platonic, semi-celebrity, same-sex girlfriend. Although she'll have to work pretty hard to displace the Notorious RBG.
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The Daily Show takes on trans bathroom panic, with predictable results. Featuring none other than our old friend Gordon "Chaps" Klingenschmitt, famed asshat, whackadoo, bigot and purveyor of fantasy.*
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From the I'm apoplectic with rage files: Mental health professionals in Tennessee will soon be able to refuse to treat members of the LGBTQ community because their religious bigotry trumps their oath to heal. I find this particular piece of shitbaggery to be especially infuriating and hurtful, for what should be obvious reasons.

H/T Sister Stacey
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Overlanding the Silk Road is a film by Nicolas Bori, who spent 120 days following the ancient route of the Silk Road, which took him through China, Mongolia, Kyrgyzstan, Uzbekistan, Turkmenistan, Azerbaijan, Georgia, and Turkey. Fascinating.

H/T Brother Juan
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It appears the Republicans in charge of the Benghazi investigation doctored the records to make Secretary Clinton look bad. I'm shocked - shocked! - that the partisan nonsense in Washington would lead to such an event, said no literate American ever. Make sure you link through to the source document to guard against bias.
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Sarah Palin agreed to debate Bill Nye the Science Guy, but then thought better of it. So she's not a complete moron, then.

ETA: Oh, wait, yes she is. 
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A fascinating article on the alien intelligence of Octopus, in the wake of the now-famous Inky's clever break for freedom from a New Zealand aquarium. I love octopus, and now I have a new book in my wish list.

H/T The Incomparable Anne™
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*He still embarrasses me to death, y'all. 

Random Thoughts and Rules to Live By, Part 12

The key to a successful relationship of any kind is a reasonably equal distribution of emotional labor.

End of the line

I'm currently listening to an offering from The Great Courses called Biological Anthropology: An Evolutionary Perspective, by Professor Barbara J. King. Earlier in the week, she was discussing human evolution and inheritance, and brought up the concept of Mitochondrial Eve. While discussing this idea, she made the comment that many branches of humanity have experienced extinct mitochondrial lines, so the idea of a single individual identified as Mitochondrial Eve is more than a bit simplistic.

Hearing these words, mitochondrial DNA extinction, made me think of Moe's death in a new way. While the Smart Son wants to have a family of his own, my own mitochondrial line ends with me. My own daughter is dead, and my mother has no other granddaughters.

Our broader matriarchal line is not extinct - I have Aunties with daughters, who had daughters of their own. But my own mitochondrial line will die with me. 

Realistically speaking, this would probably still be the case even had Moe lived. She never had much interest in giving birth - she always spoke of adopting when she discussed having a family of her own. I was completely supportive of this plan, as I welcome the lengthening of my table regardless of where people come from, but it's only now, after her death, that it occurs to me that I'm the end of the line.

Weird.

12 Days of New Year's - Learning to Let Go

My mind tends to be a very regimented place. I like being on a schedule. I like doing the same things on the same days of the week, every week. I like to measure things, I like to record those measurements, and it gives me comfort to have that data at my disposable.

Oftentimes I don't really DO anything with the data. I just like to have it. And stare at it. And obsess over it.

For example, when I was sick last month with the Sinus Plague, I woke up in the middle of night one night because I couldn't breathe. I really needed to blow my nose, but I hesitated because - wait for it - if I blew my nose in the middle of the night, I wouldn't be able to compare how my head felt the previous morning, and my data wouldn't be gathered in a consistent manner.

I know. It boggles my mind, too, and it's happening inside my own head.

I realize this makes me borderline OCD. Borderline because on the night in question, I was able to laugh at myself and blow my damn nose. But these sorts of things still happen to me often enough that I really want to learn to let things go. I know where this need to control every little thing comes from, and it's going to take a while to work though those issues. But in the meantime, a little behavior modification is in order.

I think that starts with conscious choices. For example, I've stopped wearing my heart rate monitor when I exercise. I can tell when I'm working hard enough, I don't need to stare at a monitor to discover that fact. I've become lackadaisical about logging every step, every calorie. Some days I even deliberately fail to plan dinner the minute I get up! I know - I'M COMPLETELY OUT OF CONTROL.

The trick will be ensuring this attention to detail is still retained in my professional life, while simultaneously relaxing in my personal space. Because my borderline OCD serves me well as an engineer, and I don't want to go all hippie-dippie when it comes to my work. Because no one wants to work with a hippie-dippie engineer.

Like Mr. Incredible, I just need to learn how to be more...flexible.

Do you hear what I hear

I stopped writing about politics about a month ago. Mostly because it was giving my hypertension, but also because it makes me sad. It doesn't seem like there's much middle ground these days, and each side is so filled with righteous indignation they often can't hear what the other side is trying to say. Or alternatively, they hear all too well what the other side is trying to say, and it makes them even angrier. Welcome to the modern incarnation of the Southern Strategy, otherwise known as dog-whistle politics.

As a liberal, I freely admit that my ear is more closely attuned to the dog-whistles used by the right than the ones used by the left. For example:

When conservatives say, "Let's take our country back," what I hear is, "I'm an angry, scared, white, CIS dude, and the fact that the women and the browns and the gays want to compete on equal footing with me, want to be protected equally under the law the same as me, and want to deprive me of my unearned privilege fills me with anger. I want to go back to the days when these 'others' drove the economy for my benefit alone because I'm blind to the experiences of those not like me."

When conservatives say, "I don't believe in being politically correct," what I hear is, "I don't believe in treating others with respect, because doing so removes the emotional charge from my argument and then I have to win based on facts, figures and merit, rather than an emotional, knee-jerk reaction." 

Do these interpretations mean I believe every conservative is a blind, unenlightened racist with no inner life or empathy for others? No, I don't. I truly believe that people of good conscience can disagree about the role of government in our lives without ascribing evil motivations to those with a different worldview.

But I think these specific phrases, and the history behind them, is code for an entire set of policies and motivations that does not bear close examination. They lead directly to the continued oppression of historically oppressed people, and they attempt to dismiss and ignore the generational burden of being black, or brown, or female, or a member of the LGBTQ community. The fact that often those who use these phrases are shocked at the suggestion that they would be categorized in a such a way is immaterial. Manipulative, shitty politicians have been using this nonsense for years to mobilize an angry, scared base, and the fact of the matter is that they work. If the people who are using them can't clearly articulate why they're angry, or scared, or exactly who in their mind they need to wrest control from, then I would suggest they need to do some additional soul-searching as it relates to their political opinions.

There are equally damning allegations against the left, of course. From what I'm able to discern, the conservative base considers the phrases "Social justice" and "Social programs" to mean "Taking money from hard-working people and giving it to lazy good-for-nothings who don't want to work." Or the term "Christian fundamentalist" is apparently code for the left's desire to persecute Christians.*

The point, I guess, is that neither side assumes the other is capable of seeing the "truth." The "truth" about how we're all manipulated by big money in politics, the "truth" about what's REALLY compromising the integrity of our economy, the "truth" about the motivations of the opposition.

For myself, I will continue to measure political positions based on the categorical imperative: "Act only according to that maxim whereby you can, at the same time, will that it should become a universal law."

By that yardstick, we're all pretty fucked up. I can only vote for those individuals who come closest to this ideal. As Paul Wellstone put it, "We all do better when we all do better."

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*I have trouble even typing that one without giggling uncontrollably. "Persecution." SNORT.