2012

Monday, December 31, 2012

A River of Snot

So the Smart Man and I were supposed to go to a nice dinner tonight to bring in the New Year. Unfortunately, I am currently drowning in a river of snot, and I didn't think spending $200 on an evening out when my best trick would be sneezing into the appetizer would be a good use of resources. So it's home for us this year.

Also? My friend Nathan tells me that "River of Snot" is his new band name. I'm so glad I could help.

Please die in a fire

2012 was not the best year evah. My family lost one of our lovely aunties. We lost our beloved Boogie. Seems like everyone we know was struggling to a greater or lesser extent with crappy things happening to them and theirs. I'm just ready for 2012 to be OVER, thankyouverymuch.

But it wasn't all bad

On the bright side, I did make a professional change that was basically nothing but good. In spite of my "Vestibule of Hell" travel schedule, I'm doing work that matters to me, that has value to the communities I visit, and I'm working with some really stellar people. I'm calling this a "win." Well, it's a "win" providing those yutzes in Washington don't push us off the fiscal cliff, resulting in massive layoffs in the Military Industrial Complex.

Speaking of 2012...

Dave Berry has his annual 2012 recap up, and it's as hilarious as ever. The money quote is from October:
With polls showing a very tight race, the final weeks of the campaign are a textbook example of what this great experiment called “American democracy” is all about: two opposing political parties, each with valid positions, spending hundreds of millions of dollars on comically simplistic radio and TV ads designed by consultants to terrify ill-informed halfwits.
Just so.

But on a better, lighter note, here's some advice for 2013

Klassy with a "K"

I learned the other day that the parents of a child who went to Sandy Hook Elementary - and survived the events of that horrible day - are suing the Newtown School District because their child has sustained psychological harm. The claim states that the Board of Education, Department of Education and Education Commissioner had failed to take appropriate steps to protect children from “foreseeable harm.”

What the fuck? No, really - what the fuck? Every person in that school was psychologically damaged by the events of that day. Every. Single. One. But let's identify the REAL opportunity in those horrifying events! It's to get rich off the suffering of the community! 

Ugh. I do not classify these people as "helpers." That's some shameful shit right there.
What the fuck? No really - what the fuck?  more here: http://www.miamiherald.com/2012/12/29/v-fullstory/3160638/dave-barrys-year-in-review.html#storylink=cpy

5 comments:

Stacey said...

I'm so sorry about your plans being foiled by a River of Snot. I would be happy to supply the match for 2012. With the exception of JR becoming gainfully employed albeit in NY and having to uproot our life and my negative diagnosis for a genetic mutation wherein I would die soon, it has sucked. I look forward to 2013 with cautious optimism. That is NOT an invitation to the universe to screw with me.

Janiece said...

Stacey, the fact that you have a negative diagnosis for a genetic mutation wherein you would die soon goes a long, long way in making 2012 far less sucky.

Just sayin'.

- CGL - said...

When I was young, my mom had a totally boss dime store wand (with streamers, yet) that she christened "The Well Wand." Whenever my sister or I came down with the Martian Death Flu (or one of its variants which leaves the infected party feeling like hammered dog shit), mom would appear and wave The Well Wand at us with a mom-ly incantation for restored health. As placebos go, The Well Wand rocked the house. I wish I had a Well Wand to wave at you, Janiece!

beatrice in Paris said...

1. Have been in the river of snot, too, for ten days. Not fun.
2. Dave BArry.

-nose-wiping and nitpicking from France

beatrice in Paris said...

Well, I'm going to go out on a limb here, but if it takes a lawsuit to get reasonable gun control passed,so be it. I'm not sure they are doing it for the money because there is no way they'd win.