On Professional Fear and Schadenfreude

We all know that hiring trends are cyclical. In bad times (like now), people are fearful, and tend to put up with an enormous amount of crap simply to stay employed. I don't know how many times I've heard in the last year "at least I have a job!" when people discuss their professional lives.

And they're right - being employed in kind of a sucky position sure beats the alternative when professionals are remaining unemployed for months (and years) if they lose their jobs. Mortgages, college tuition and basic sustenance won't wait, and responsible men and women do what they have to do in order to ensure they can support their families.

The pundits are calling this a "jobless" recovery. I take that to mean that if you have a job, you'd better damn well keep it, since there won't be many replacement positions out there. That's scary, and these are valid fears. Hell, my new position was a lateral move, and an attempt on my part to secure a position that had more long-term security than my old, beloved, much-missed job. I have to make professional decisions based on what will allow me the best chance of accomplishing my professional and financial goals, and recognize that others have to do the same.

But that doesn't mean they have to like it. Nobody likes having to make decisions based on fear - fear of losing their income, fear of losing their health insurance, fear of not being able to secure another position because you're too old, too well-paid, too committed to your family to agree to travel 75% of the time. That feeling totally blows.

Which brings me to the schadenfreude part of the discussion. You just know that all those people who are holding on to their jobs for dear life can't WAIT until the economy improves so they can have this conversation with their boss/company:

Employee:  Guess what?

Pointy Haired Boss:  You've figured out a way to increase your weekly output so the company can make more money off your labor? You've decided to get a divorce so you can spend more time here at the office instead of having your spouse and children act as a time-suck? You've decided you no longer need your lunch break for exercise, and will instead use it to work on my special projects?

E: No, none of those things. Hee, hee.

PHB: Well, what it is? I haven't got all day - I have to meet with H.R. to determine how best to cut your benefits in an effort to increase executive bonuses.

E:  I got another job. I'm putting in my notice.

PHB: What do you mean, "you got another job?" There aren't any other jobs out there.

E: That may have been true a year ago, but now? I've gotten three offers just this week. And I've decided to take one of them. I'm giving you two weeks notice, effective today.

PHB: You can't do that! You're the lead on too many important projects! I'll have to hire two people to do the work you do now! It will negatively impact my department's profits!

E: Yeah, make that one week's notice.

PHB: You ungrateful wretch! I let you work here when the economy was in the tank! You OWE me!

E: Not so much. I provided an agreed upon service for an agreed upon compensation package. Now another company is offering me a better compensation package. Since this wasn't indentured servitude the last time I looked, I'm leaving.

PHB: THIS IS SO UNFAIR!

E: Bite me, dickwad.

I know for a fact that there are hundreds and hundreds of employees who can't wait to have that conversation with their bosses. People are tired of being afraid, of feeling trapped, of not having control over their professional futures. And they're looking forward to the sweet, sweet feeling of schadenfreude that will come when they finally get to tell their bosses to fuck off.

What comes around, goes around. It might behoove all of us to remember that.