On Professional Fear and Schadenfreude

Thursday, November 19, 2009
We all know that hiring trends are cyclical. In bad times (like now), people are fearful, and tend to put up with an enormous amount of crap simply to stay employed. I don't know how many times I've heard in the last year "at least I have a job!" when people discuss their professional lives.

And they're right - being employed in kind of a sucky position sure beats the alternative when professionals are remaining unemployed for months (and years) if they lose their jobs. Mortgages, college tuition and basic sustenance won't wait, and responsible men and women do what they have to do in order to ensure they can support their families.

The pundits are calling this a "jobless" recovery. I take that to mean that if you have a job, you'd better damn well keep it, since there won't be many replacement positions out there. That's scary, and these are valid fears. Hell, my new position was a lateral move, and an attempt on my part to secure a position that had more long-term security than my old, beloved, much-missed job. I have to make professional decisions based on what will allow me the best chance of accomplishing my professional and financial goals, and recognize that others have to do the same.

But that doesn't mean they have to like it. Nobody likes having to make decisions based on fear - fear of losing their income, fear of losing their health insurance, fear of not being able to secure another position because you're too old, too well-paid, too committed to your family to agree to travel 75% of the time. That feeling totally blows.

Which brings me to the schadenfreude part of the discussion. You just know that all those people who are holding on to their jobs for dear life can't WAIT until the economy improves so they can have this conversation with their boss/company:

Employee:  Guess what?

Pointy Haired Boss:  You've figured out a way to increase your weekly output so the company can make more money off your labor? You've decided to get a divorce so you can spend more time here at the office instead of having your spouse and children act as a time-suck? You've decided you no longer need your lunch break for exercise, and will instead use it to work on my special projects?

E: No, none of those things. Hee, hee.

PHB: Well, what it is? I haven't got all day - I have to meet with H.R. to determine how best to cut your benefits in an effort to increase executive bonuses.

E:  I got another job. I'm putting in my notice.

PHB: What do you mean, "you got another job?" There aren't any other jobs out there.

E: That may have been true a year ago, but now? I've gotten three offers just this week. And I've decided to take one of them. I'm giving you two weeks notice, effective today.

PHB: You can't do that! You're the lead on too many important projects! I'll have to hire two people to do the work you do now! It will negatively impact my department's profits!

E: Yeah, make that one week's notice.

PHB: You ungrateful wretch! I let you work here when the economy was in the tank! You OWE me!

E: Not so much. I provided an agreed upon service for an agreed upon compensation package. Now another company is offering me a better compensation package. Since this wasn't indentured servitude the last time I looked, I'm leaving.

PHB: THIS IS SO UNFAIR!

E: Bite me, dickwad.
I know for a fact that there are hundreds and hundreds of employees who can't wait to have that conversation with their bosses. People are tired of being afraid, of feeling trapped, of not having control over their professional futures. And they're looking forward to the sweet, sweet feeling of schadenfreude that will come when they finally get to tell their bosses to fuck off.

What comes around, goes around. It might behoove all of us to remember that.

13 comments:

Terry Mc said...

Send me the other two offers that you didn't take. I'll take seconds...

Janiece said...

I got nothing, dude. This is a HYPOTHETICAL FUTURE STATE.

Nothing to see, here, move along, move along...

Steve Buchheit said...

Jobs are always a lagging indicator (of both economic problems and economic recovery). Doesn't make it right. I've been on both ends of that stick and having a job, even a sucky job, is preferable.

MWT said...

Hmm... I don't have any professional goals. And my only financial goal is to be able to continue paying for myself in my old age.

Janiece said...

MWT, my goals are actually quite similar to yours, other than including making sure I can contribute my committed amount to the Smart Twins education. In my case, the two (professional and financial) pretty much go together.

At least until the Smart Twins are off the payroll - then it's off to phlebotomy school!

Dr. Phil (Physics) said...

Yeah to all that. Somehow we've got from life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness to indentured servitude with companies which are overextended in leveraged buyouts, and the last man standing is screwed.

Dr. Phil

nzforme said...

The other day at work we were discussing how long our "temporary" furlough would last. The consensus was, "it's a permanent pay cut."

Anne C. said...

The place that laid me off (that is still in the tank, btw) called the paycuts "market adjustments." Those unfortunate enough to get the cuts (I got a 100% paycut) understood this to mean the principals were intending them to be permanent. [Fuckers]

This is why one of the biggest compliments I can say about my new employers is that they seem to have a lot of integrity.

The Mechanicky Gal said...

Phlebotomy or PHRENOLOGY???!!!!

John the Scientist said...

MG - I suspect Phrenology. Janiece has already admitted over on my site that she's a closet Creationist. :D

Janiece said...

nzforme, I suspect my own furlough will take the same path.

As for MG and JTS - you two think you're funny, but you're s'not.

Ilya said...

I started to comment and then realized that a co-worker or two can find their way here through my blog. I better limit myself to a non-committal nod.

Janiece said...

Ilya, non-committal nods are always welcome.

And to be clear, while I think that almost all companies' behavior during this recession has left some room for improvement, I don't believe my own employer's policies have been particularly egregious.