I Could Be A CEO

Tuesday, April 15, 2008
According to the AFL-CIO, the average CEO in the S&P 500 made $14.2 million last year.

That value is up 20% from a year ago, and yet the revenues of these same companies are only up 3%.

I could be a CEO.

I could make millions of dollars a year for driving my company into the ground.

I could increase my compensation package to seven times the increase in my revenues.

I could take a fabulous severance package after I make poor decisions that result in my company laying off half of the work force.

I could have a complete lack of accountability for my professional performance, enjoying the fruits of other people's labor.

I could work for a couple years, taking crazy risks that prop up my company's short term performance, then run away with the big bucks, leaving the tax-payers and the workers to clean up my mess while I sip fruity drinks with little umbrellas on the beach.

"Let them eat cake."

I could be a CEO...

If I removed my conscience first.

4 comments:

Michelle K said...

Here's a rusty knife if you really think you'd like to try.

Of course I think your sense of humor is closely to your conscience, so there is that to consider.

Nathan said...

I'm sure you've heard of "Pay or Play" deals that certain people get in the movie business. They specify that the movie might never get made, or you may be replaced but you'll still get paid regardless.

I was having drinks one night with a producer and a few other people after a day of shooting. The Assistant Director mentioned a producer who had just gotten fired off a movie and was going to pocket 1.5 million bucks for it.

The producer at the table quickly piped up "I would of not made that movie for 1/2 that".

Janiece Murphy said...

Nathan, how do I get that job?

I'm actually required to, you know, produce for the money I earn.

Narrow minded bastards.

Cindi in CO said...

Me too, Nathan, I want a job!

Like you need another pain in the ass on the set. ;)