In Which I Try to Paint My House

Thursday, April 24, 2008
As you know, I think HOA's are irritating as hell, and my HOA in particular is currently a huge pain in my ass.

This is the color our home is currently painted:

Kind of "blah." Grey and white. A standard Richmond color, and while not offensive, it kind of epitomizes how very vanilla our neighborhood is.

These are the colors I wanted to paint the house. Of course, I had to get the colors "approved" by the "Architectural Control Committee" of our asshat HOA.

Well, I won't be painting the house these colors. According to the weaselly HOA manager, "We have had two NO votes on the orange body color you have selected. You need to try and mute it down some. I have had several complaints from neighbors who have seen the swatch as well. You might want to look around the neighborhood and see something that is similar to what you want, but not so bright. Your current colors will not be approved." Yeah, well. I believe I expressed my opinion of the HOA and my busybody neighbors, i.e., Fuck off.

So here is my new color choice that is currently waiting for "inspection":

We'll see if the asshats and the busybodies think this one is too bright.

Have I mentioned I hate the HOA?

14 comments:

Nathan said...

I suggest doing the entire house in a checkerboard pattern of various shades. Ask them which colors they'll approve, but don't actually get around to repainting for a year or so.

Janiece Murphy said...

Nathan, I like the way you think.

Ha!

Cindi in CO said...

Whenever I'm on the front range, I always marvel at the fact that all the houses seem to be painted to resemble band-aids.

Butt damn ugly, if you ask me.

Michelle K said...

I second Nathan.

Keep picking really out there bizarre colors too.

Eggplant and fuschia.
#003366 and #FFCC00

Janiece Murphy said...

I don't think my colors are particularly bizarre - I just don't want grey, pea green or shit brown, all of which have been "approved" by our homogeneous HOA.

Michelle K said...

Sorry, I didn't mean your colors were bizarre. Your colors are normal. I meant during the process of picking out colors, don't give them the opportunity to think something is okay, just keep picking out bizarre colors.

Then go back to your original color scheme and see what they say.

And they'd hate my house. Our directions always include, "it's really blue. You can't miss it.")

Janiece Murphy said...

Michelle, I was looking at the current yellow this morning before I left the house, and it actually looks pretty bright in the sunlight. Luckily I also like the yellow that's one shade lighter than what's currently up there.

vince said...

Here's what you do. Find a doctor who will say you have a disability that requires that you have your houise painted in the manner you wish - say, a very unique form of epilepsy that is triggered by close viewing of grey and white. Then when the HOA screams, sue them for violation of the Americans With Disabilities Act, the Federal Fair Housing Act, and the Freedom From Oppression by Jackass Asshats Act.

Anne C. said...

As an owner of a pale yellow house (non HOA sanctioned), I'll say, it's a lovely color.

Carol Elaine said...

Vince, I like the way you think.

Sounds to me like the HOA needs a serious smackdown. Perhaps a judicious use of the Shovel of Doom (tm) is called for?

vince said...

Sounds to me like the HOA needs a serious smackdown. Perhaps a judicious use of the Shovel of Doom (tm) is called for?

Carol Elaine, a most excellent idea!

Jeri said...

I think you should let them know that it's not the house color they need to worry about, it's your stockpile of arms and ammo that should probably be of greater concern.

Then ask the president if she'd be willing to take delivery of your new tactical nuke if you're out when the courier delivers it.

Rand said...

One of my friends lives in a house which is a sort of a muted pumpkin color. We kid him about it all the time, but it makes it easy to find his house among the rows and rows of plain white ones.

Janiece Murphy said...

Welcome, Rand.

I'm still waiting for "approval" on the yellow, at the moment. Since I was kind of bitchy to the HOA manager, I suspect he's going to make me wait the entire 30 days before he disapproves it as "too bright."

Yeah. Fuck off, HOA.