Discovering a "Keeper"

Thursday, April 3, 2008
In February 2001, my Smart Man and I decided to quit smoking.

My Smart Man is one of those incredibly annoying people who can quit bad habits with little to no effort. He can start and stop smoking with no trouble at all. We hate that about him. Obviously, I'm just jealous.

I, on the other hand, have an addictive personality. I had tried to quit smoking every year for almost all of those 20 years, and each time, I had been unsuccessful. This, of course, led to lots of self-loathing and self-flagellation.

When we decided to try and quit together, I contacted the smoking cessation program at my HMO and signed up. I went to all the classes. I started taking Wellbutrin. I bought Nicorette gum. When the day came, I started my new smoke-free life.

The next 6 months were a nightmare.

My course of Wellbutrin was for 6 weeks, and once I went off of it, I was capable of three moods:

  1. Sullen Isolation
  2. Hypersensitive crying
  3. Hypersensitive irritation

Pleasant, huh?

Bless his heart, my Smart Man put up with me. He didn't get angry (even though he should of), he didn't lose his patience (even though he should of), he didn't kick me to the curb (even though he could of). If it had been me in that situation, I suspect my response would of been "Quit being such a bitch! Why don't you smoke already! Quit acting like a freeze-dried whack-a-loon!"

Instead, after tolerating this craziness for six months, my Smart Man spoke to me with love and concern, and said, "This is not normal. There's something wrong, and it hurts me to see you so unhappy. You need to make an appointment to go see your doctor. You need to make the appointment today."

Well.

I did make an appointment, and was subsequently diagnosed with clinical depression. It was considered "situational," and I was prescribed an anti-depressant. After taking it for six months or so, I slowly stopped taking it, and I've been doing pretty well ever since.

I can say, though, that the way in which my Smart Man handled this sealed the deal for me. He was a keeper.

Today is our anniversary. We've been together 10 years. Now you know why.

15 comments:

The Mechanicky Gal said...

Smart and sensitive without being whiny! I sam sooooo jealous!

vince said...

Congratulations! It's always a great thing when you can find a firend with those qualities. To find someone to share your life with that has those qualities is very special.

And thank goodness you listened to your Smart Man! Depression is surrounded by such negativity and an attitude of "you just need to suck it up" that so many won't get help for it. It's great you did.

Cindi in CO said...

Congratulations. On every level.

John the Scientist said...

Congratulations. And best wishes for many more years to come.

Tania said...

Congratulations! Finding someone who cares enough to put up with your crap, and call you on it when necessary is wonderful. May you have many more happy years together!

::toasts the Hot Chick and Smart Man::

Nathan said...

Happy Anniversary. I think you give him a little too much credit. Yes, he told you to make the appointment and he told you in just the right way. But you listened. Two to tango and all that.

Glad you guys have both sides covered.

Michelle K said...

Happy Anniversary!

I'd say your Smart Man is made of teh awesome, and you're BOTH lucky!


Also congrats on the seven years of non-smoking. It'll be 11 years for me this July, so I understand what you went through, and how rare it is to find a man willing to deal with that!

Yay Jeri! Yay Smart Man!

MWT said...

Yay Janiece too! :D

Congrats on both the not smoking and the anniversary. :)

Steve Buchheit said...

Happy anniversary. It's always good to have someone who has your six. Hope you have an excellent day together.

Jeri said...

Congrats to both of you for working through the ups and downs together. Ten years is no small achievement - way to go!

Janiece Murphy said...

Thanks, everyone. We'll be hitting our favorite restaurant tonight for some tasty food, and taking a cruise later this year to celebrate.

kimby said...

As someone who is continually trying to quit..WAY TO GO!
And Many happy thoughts and wishes on your Anniversary!

Janiece Murphy said...

Welcome, Kimby, and thanks.

Keep trying - it's worth it!

Anne C. said...

Congratulations, Hot Chick and Smart Man! Congrats on the not smoking and congrats on being together for a decade. Here's to many more decades to come. It sounds like you deserve each other and that is wonderful.

Carol Elaine said...

Belated congratulations on your anniversary, Janiece! Keepers are good to have. I'm happy you found yours! And congrats on quitting smoking!