Bittersweet Milestone

Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Last night the SmartBoy had his final choir concert. He's a senior this year, and since he's graduating next week, this was his final High School choir experience. His choir closed the show with an a Capella performance of Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody, which is always fun.

Going to this concert gave me mixed emotions. Over the years, I've attended every one of my SmartBoy's activities, with the exception of one concert I missed due to a business trip. Because I have a large extended family in the area, he has never had an activity where there wasn't people there who loved him to watch and cheer him on. Since I had extremely supportive parents as a youngster, I wanted to make sure my own kids had the same support that I enjoyed.

Now that he's approaching adulthood, there are going to be occasions in his life where he will be marking an accomplishment or a milestone, and I won't be there, either because it wouldn't be appropriate or because logistics won't permit it. While I recognize that this is the natural course of events, that the SmartBoy needs to create and maintain a rich and fulfilling life outside of his role as a member of our immediate family, it still saddens me. Doing for and supporting my kid is a cornerstone of my maternal identity, and I need to do better in learning to let that go as he approaches adulthood.

On the other hand...

I'm no longer obligated to attend high school events where the parents spend all their time working on their Crackberry instead of watching the performance, where the students simply don't know how to act as an audience member, where people leave in the middle of the performance because "their" kid is done, where the seats are so uncomfortable and the leg room so scarce you need a front-end loader to get out of the chair. That part doesn't hurt my feelings one bit.

Congratulations, SmartBoy, on finishing your High School musical career. You make me proud.

8 comments:

Random Michelle K said...

Congratulations Smart Boy on your impending graduation!

And YAY to Janiece for no more HS events!

Saturday I gleefully told my cousin Liz, "I have ONE more graduation to go through--yours--and then NO MORE!"

Anne C. said...

"... and I won't be there, either because it wouldn't be appropriate or..."

I flashed on an image of Janiece in Angela Lansbury's role in The Manchurian Candidate. Hee! :D

Janiece Murphy said...

Anne...no. Just no.

Random Michelle K said...

And I just remembered my Dad at my brother's wedding, who went up to my aunt and said, "HA! I'm DONE! You have to do FOUR of these!"

At which point my aunt said, "Three priests and a nun. I'm raising three priests and a nun."

Hasn't worked out that was--she's got two weddings this year. :)

Womanji said...

Congratulations SmartBoy!

Wendy said...

Congratulations to SmartBoy!

Too bad the crackberryheads never learned concert manners.

We were instructed on proper audience ettiquette at an early age, and I think I started attending symphony concerts with my parents when I was about 9.

Grwoing up both of us played an instrument, and I sang in multiple choirs. And while my parents would have stayed anyhow, they are music lovers, through elementary school at least, one of us was on stage during the whole show. After that they had to juggle between two sets of seasonal concerts!

WendyB_09

Jeri said...

Congrats to the smart boy - and to you for 18 years of hard work with your whole heart coming to fruition!

And if he does any music in college, I'd bet you'll still make it to some of his concerts. I sure do. :)

Janiece Murphy said...

Jeri, he says he probably won't pursue music in college. We'll see.