'Tard of the Week - "Joe the Plumber"

Tuesday, May 5, 2009
The burning question of our time is: Will this dipshit ever go away? And the answer is apparently "no."

But the good news is that his platform for spouting his nonsense appears to be shrinking, so he's not constantly in the face of normal people of reasonable intelligence. Instead he's in the face of those evangelicals who are convinced teh gayz are eeevil, as evidenced by his "Q&A" in that bastion of intellectual honesty and liberal thought, Christianity Today. From the article:

In the last month, same-sex marriage has become legal in Iowa and Vermont. What do you think about same-sex marriage at a state level?

At a state level, it's up to them. I don't want it to be a federal thing. I personally still think it's wrong. People don't understand the dictionary—it's called queer. Queer means strange and unusual. It's not like a slur, like you would call a white person a honky or something like that. You know, God is pretty explicit in what we're supposed to do—what man and woman are for. Now, at the same time, we're supposed to love everybody and accept people, and preach against the sins. I've had some friends that are actually homosexual. And, I mean, they know where I stand, and they know that I wouldn't have them anywhere near my children. But at the same time, they're people, and they're going to do their thing.

Yeah. You've got to keep them homo-sexshuals away from your children, don't you know. Because apparently it's contagious. And why are those uppity homo-sexshuals so up-in-arms about being called "queers?" It's clearly not an epithet. They're just over-sensitive, that's what they are.

Christ on a crutch, this guy's dumber than a fucking stump. How did he end up with a national platform? And who the fuck cares about his opinions on anything of substance?

Joe the Plumber: Poster Child for teh Stoopid. What a 'tard.


H/T to the Friendly Atheist and apologies to Carol Elaine, because I can hear her head exploding from here.

15 comments:

Nathan said...

Picking which quote to denigrate is so hard...there are so many to choose from. I particularly like this one regarding Sarah Palin:

I don't know what her agenda is. If she ran, would I vote for her? Absolutely.Way to pick 'em, dude!

Janiece Murphy said...

Because voting for someone when you have no idea what their agenda is is just good sense!

Jim Wright said...

While Joe was looking up the definition of "Queer" he should have also looked up the definition of "Friend" because I don't think the word means what he thinks it means.

Generally if you're the type of person I wouldn't let near my kids, I really wouldn't consider you a friend.

But if you want to talk definitions, well, Joe the Ignorant Plumber is the very definition of the modern NeoCon Republican.

What a fucking 'tard - but, that's probably redundant.

Random Michelle K said...

'Some 'o my best friends is faggots!'

I have nothing more to add.

Random Michelle K said...

Please note that what I meant by the above statement is that some of my best friends are actually bundles of sticks.

Just so we're clear.

Janiece Murphy said...

Some of my best friends are cigarettes.

Anne C. said...

I'm sure Joe's not offended that I wouldn't let him near my kids. He understands that I have to protect them from behavior that God disapproves of (namely bigotry).

Whadda pal.

Janiece Murphy said...

Anne just made Jesus cry and me laugh my ass off.

I <3 Anne.

neurondoc said...

Janiece -- please hear my head exploding.

My daughter told me that she would rather play with her uncles than anyone else (including yours truly), because they are more fun. Does that mean she will be a lesbian?

Janiece Murphy said...

Natalie, clearly you need to remove your daughter from the eeeevil influence of her uncles.

DON'T YOU KNOW IT'S CONTAGIOUS???

Carol Elaine said...

Thanks for the head explosion, Janiece. You do realize that I'm sending you the carpet cleaning bill.

Yeah, Anne, if I had kids I'd have them cross the street if they saw Joe the Plumber walking towards them. And not just because bigotry and stoopid is contagious. Because I'd probably be with my kids and I wouldn't want them to seem me roshambo the motherucker.

Eric said...

Yes, Joe, but they're also "gay," which means "having or showing a merry, lively mood." So, basically, what we're talking about are strange and unusual people who display a lively, merry mood. Epiphany! Joe has to be talking about clowns! And if you look at clowns, you have to admit they're pretty damn terrifying. I wouldn't let them play with clowns at all.

On the other hand, if we're talking about "faggots," then I would absolutely allow my children (if I had any) to play with them as long as they weren't pointy or on fire. "Fags" on the other hand, are right out because children shouldn't smoke, it's kind of a dirty habit and causes all sorts of health problems, and of course it's addictive.

As for homosexuals, I don't see what that has to do with whether they're fit people to hang out with my hypothetical kids. I suppose Joe would be perfectly okay with a straight pedophile molesting Joe's opposite-sex son or daughter? "Oh, hey, no big deal that he fondled my daughter, I mean, at least he wasn't a lesbian...."

Actually, I should be more specific with the last bit, since I have to suspect Joe's the sorta guy who would respond to the news that a female teacher had seduced his twelve or thirteen year-old son with, "Well, was she hot?"

MWT said...

I tend to think of stuff like that as "well, we know where the opposition stands and what we have to work with. We'll call that Point A. Now we can figure out how to get them to Point B."

mattw said...

Why oh why do people keep letting him open his mouth? That includes for taking sustenance.

Steve Buchheit said...

Another friend of mine sent me a link to that article. My first response back is, "Sure, queer ain't an epithet. And we only wear these white sheets because they're sliming."

There were so many good nuggets in that interview, including the fabulous spoken grammar, that it was nearly impossible to make fun of it because it's a parody of itself.