'Tard of the Week - John Edwards

Monday, September 28, 2009
You know, I've never been a huge fan of John Edwards. When he was trying to secure the Democratic nomination for the 2008 election, I did look at his policy platform, and decided that Barack Obama was a better candidate for me as a voter. I tried very hard to make my decision based on their policies, as I always do, but on a personal level, I have to admit that I've always thought John Edwards was a bit...smarmy.

Since the guy's an attorney and a politician, this really isn't that surprising, I suppose. While he never fell into the "ambulance chaser" category in my mind, when his $400.00 haircuts and infidelities came to light I really was not all that surprised, although I did have a lot of sympathy for Elizabeth and their children.

Now make no mistake - I don't give a good goddamn about his relationship with that woman. Who he sleeps with is between him and his wife. I don't give a shit about whether or not Ms. Hunter's daughter was sired by John Edwards, Andrew Young, or is the result of some weird cloning experiment. Because it's not my business, you see.

What I do think is that for someone who is so obviously a bright individual, John Edwards has made a series of bad choices that places him firmly in the "'tard" category.

Choosing to have an extramarital affair when you are running for national office = dumb. Choosing to do so without adequate birth control = dumber. Choosing to keep your mistress' conduct in check by promising to marry her in some fabulous ceremony with the Dave Matthews Band providing the tunes after your terminally ill wife kicks the bucket = dumber than a box of hammers and possibly the most classless thing I've ever heard. Choosing to convince one of your aides to take parental responsibility when you're busted by the National Enquirer = dude, seriously? What the fuck?

To be fair, we really don't know what the real story is. Mr. Edwards continues to deny that Ms. Hunter's child is his. The rumor and innuendo is running rampant across the Internet.

But seriously. Dude - what the fuck?

How the mighty have fallen.

17 comments:

Thordr said...

At least he is the kind of tard you just shake your head at while wondering "WTF". I have no inclination of stabbing him to death with a dull, rusty spoon.
Not like other tard and tard predator John Edwards of "I see dead people" fame, he makes me all stabby.

Janiece said...

Thordr, me, too. I just want to hit that guy in the head with a shovel.

Eric said...

A "bit" smarmy? I find that generous, personally. Can't stand Edwards. He comes off as someone who leaves a trail you'd slip on and bust your ass.

Nathan said...

He comes off as someone who leaves a trail you'd slip on and bust your ass.

That's funny. I always figured his trail would be more sticky and you'd have to scrape it off your shoes with a stick.

Karl said...

hmm... A wriggling figure in 'the sack' and pinata practice with TSOD sounds like a kick-ass setup - thrown in a guitar and you're all set :) Get a little Janis revival goin'.

"Why?" *ding* ::riff::
"WHY?" *ding* ::riff::
"WTF?" *ding* ::riff::

Now speed it up a little, and you've got a hit...

I like the trail visual though I always classified him as 'greezy'.

MWT said...

I've never liked him either, and was actively rooting against him during the primaries. I was glad when he finally dropped.

Also, it's kind of interesting rereading what our views were back then. ;)

Random Michelle K said...

John Edwards is an ass.

Elizabeth Edwards, however, is funny and smart and awesome.

Carol Elaine said...

*sigh*

This makes me unbelievably sad.

I volunteered for the Edwards campaign. I believed that he would make a good president and I agreed with about 90% of his platform (Obama always struck me as too centrist for my tastes). And I won't lie - I've been the same room with him a couple of times and his in-person charisma is off the charts.

When rumors of his affair were confirmed, that made me have sympathy for Elizabeth and for his kids and sad for him. I thought that it was an astoundingly bad lapse in judgment (Dude, stepping out on Elizabeth? While she's terminally ill? In the middle of the most important campaign you'll ever be involved in? Stupid to the tenth power.), but I also thought who he had sex with was really between him and his wife and I had no doubt she would lay him out in private - she's a tough cookie.

Now? Now all I can say is what I said above: it makes me very, very sad.

(BTW, the "psychic" is named John Edward - no s. And yeah, shovel that guy's head.)

Janiece said...

Carol Elaine, I thought of you when I heard about this.

It's REALLY unfortunate. As Michelle notes - he's an ass, if a charismatic one.

Carol Elaine said...

I'm not arguing Edwards being an ass. There is ample evidence to support that contention. Doesn't make me any less sad, though.

*shrug*

Jim Wright said...

Meh

Steve Buchheit said...

I liked him in the 2004 campaign, not so much in the 2008. Unfortunately he now suffers from a terminal shot of stupidity to the head.

Dave said...

"Since the guy's an attorney and a politician,"

Well, I don't hold that against him - so's Obama.

I likeed Edwards. I liked Obama and Clinton. However, I'm now sorry I contributed a few dollars to John Edward's campaign, because by his actions - his lies - he betrayed the trust I put in him.

Bill Clinton lied too, and if he'd of resigned I wouldn't have been that upset. He, too, broke the trust with the people he represents. It wasn't that he cheated on his wife - I really don't know or care about their personal lives - but he lied about it to me and everyone else.

But John Edwards was a candidate, and there were other candidates who, as far as I know, didn't lie the way and to the extent Edwards did. So, had I known then what I know now about him, I wouldn't have supported him.

Janiece said...

Hi Dave. I hear what you're saying. The thing that chaps my ass is just how utterly classless the entire thing was. Ew.

And I DO hold the whole politician/attorney thing against Obama. There's something about that particular combination that puts me on my guard.

Eric said...

I voted for Obama in large part because he's an attorney. And a Con Law prof to boot.

But then he wasn't the only lawyer in the bunch: Secretary Of State (then-Senator) Clinton is an attorney.

I just find Edwards smarmy, insincere and fake. And I'm a North Carolina lawyer myself, as some of y'all know. Just don't think much of the man, and was unsurprised when he knocked up his groupie.

Janiece said...

Eric, I'm not against politicians who are attorneys per se. They just make we wary. The fact that the President was a Con Law Prof was actually a "plus" for me, too.

And when Uncle Joe started quoting the Constitution during his debate with that retard Palin, I wanted to CHEER. And have his babies. But we won't speak of that.

John the Scientist said...

Well, Janiece, I disagree on one point. Edwards was an ambulance chaser. Channeling brain-dead babies my ass. Mr. Edwards has a lot to do with why very, very expensive defensive medicine that's not always in the mother's best interest is practiced routinely today.

And then when I found out that Mr. "Two Americas" was playing fast and loose with the laws around S corporations on profits versus salary to get out of paying taxes, I was pretty sure something like this was going to drop, and I found out about those shenannigans very early on in the campaign. There is nothing surprising about this to anyone who was paying attention to what the man did versus what he said.