February 'Tard of the Month

Tuesday, March 3, 2009
February has come and gone, and now it's time to vote on who was the biggest 'tard for February.

Was it Those Crazy Batista Boys, who thought beating up a police officer would end well for them? Or how about Danny Nalliah, whose direct line to GOD has convinced him that Australia's natural disasters are clearly caused by those dirty, dirty abortionists? Don't forget about America Forever, whose idiocy is only surpassed by their bigotry. And last but not least, there's my Colorado Senators, Scott Renfroe and Dave Schultheis, who believe being gay is comparable to being a murderer and that babies of HIV-positive mothers deserve to get AIDS.

It's hard to decide, I know - but we all have difficult decisions to make in this life.

What say you, Hot Chicks and Smart Men?

16 comments:

Char said...

Okay, Those Crazy Batista Boys, but only because "Octuplet Vending Machine" wasn't an option. Just sayin'.

Janiece Murphy said...

Char, I just couldn't get on that band-wagaon.

Although I might consider her for "Who Cares?"

Nathan said...

I hate to say your tards are out-tarded, but you may have missed one. There's a story that happened a week or two ago here that goes as follows.

Two immigrant brothers are walking home from their job late at night. They're cold. They're walking with their arms around each other (which is probably culturally very normal where they come from).

Douchebag sees them and decides they are gay and therefore a threat to his existence. He proceeds to beat one of them to death with a baseball bat.

What's tardiest? -That he feels like gay-ness is an acceptable reason to kill someone? -That nobody was gay in the first place? -That when the cops got him, he's reported to have said, "I killed him...so what?" -Or that his lawyer is now claiming self defense?

I'll find the story if I can. Serious Tardfest.

Nathan said...

Oops. I got the Tard's quote wrong.
It's much worse.

Janiece Murphy said...

Oh. My.

Why, yes, you ignorant fuckstick - killing someone does make you a "bad guy."

Nathan, bring these things to my attention sooner, would you please?

Yikes.

mattw said...

It was especially hard to choose this month.

Jim Wright said...

There appears to be a clear leader here. Leaders, actually.

But Nathan's write-in nomination is pretty fucking swell too.

Rev. Donald Spitz said...

Senator Scott Renfroe spoke the truth.
Whatever you think, you will not be able to change God's Word and will one day have to pay the price for not believing what God has written.
Leviticus 18:22 Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination.

Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.

Romans 1:22 Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools, V23 And changed the glory of the uncorruptible God into an image made like to corruptible man, and to birds, and fourfooted beasts, and creeping things.

V24 Wherefore God also gave them up to uncleanness through the lusts of their own hearts, to dishonour their own bodies between themselves:

V25 Who changed the truth of God into a lie, and worshipped and served the creature more than the Creator, Who is blessed for ever. Amen.

V26 For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature:

V27 And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet.

SAY THIS PRAYER: Dear Jesus, I am a sinner and am headed to eternal hell because of my sins. I believe you died on the cross to take away my sins and to take me to heaven. Jesus, I ask you now to come into my heart and take away my sins and give me eternal life. http://www.armyofgod.com

Random Michelle K said...

So do you follow the REST of Leviticus?

Do you refuse to touch an unclean (menstruating) women? I think that's make going out in public a mite tough.

How about those clothes made of more than one fiber? Any cotton-poly blends in your closet?

Stoned any adulterers recently?

And what about the Sabbath? Go shopping on the Sabbath? Go out to restaurants on the Sabbath? When you do those things you're forcing others to work on the Sabbath, for they have no choice, their jobs are their survival.

So go take the log out of your own eye, you nasty little narrow minded hypocrite.

mattw said...

Well said, Michelle.

Janiece Murphy said...

Reverend, you and you ilk make my feet swell.

As Michelle notes, you are a nasty little hypocrite, spewing your poison.

I assume you have children, since you've made such a point about "saving" them from those "abortion mills." ::gag::

If that's true, then I also assume you put them to death when they were teens and exhibited some disrespectful behavior. Right? After all, THE BIBLE tells you so.

Do not assume that because you believe the Bible is THE TRUTH that others are obligated to do the same. Such behavior leads to unflattering (but justified) comparisons to the Taliban.

I think I'll repost here a comment made by one of the best Christians I know in response to another Levitican. Because that's what you are, "Reverend," a Levitican. You're certainly not a Christian.

"I'm so annoyed by people being douchebags in the name of Christianity. It makes the rest of us look like idiots. My tip to all potential Christian douchebags:

1) Live out your inspired, wisdom filled life. If you really believe your power, strength and wisdom comes from above, what makes you think YOU can inspire someone else? Do you really want to give them sloppy seconds faith? No. BE the person your faith makes you.

2) If you are truly living a life that is awesome, inspired, holy, and better -- people will notice. If they ask you, THEN and ONLY THEN do you tell them about your relationship with God.

3) Evangelizing is a lot harder than spewing verses (especially hateful ones!) at others. Ur doin it rong.

4) And before you start saying, "But Jesus was harsh with the pharisees, the truth is hard to hear" -- realize they were religious posers. He was harshing on them because they were doing the same thing you are."

John the Scientist said...

Reverend you may believe that homosexuals are going to hell. That's your right. I don't. That's my right. You may exclude them from your church - that's your right. I myself would not belong to a Church that would ordain open homosexuals. That is also my right.

It is most definitely not my right to deny someone civil rights based on my religious judgment of them. Because, you know, I practice miscegenation. My kids are half-breeds. And there are still some people, very much like you, who would deny them civil rights based on some messed-up reading of the Bible.

In the Senator's argument, there are several, well, I was going ton call them logical fallacies, but let's be blunt here, stupidities is what they are:

1) Homosexuality = murder. This is a mistake in your theology. Sin is sin? Purse snatchers and and murderers both on death row?
While Christ says that none are worthy, that sin is sin in the eyes of God, still we in secular society make distinctions of greater and lesser punishment for various crimes, as in fact, did Leviticus. I don't see you arguing that we ought to punish a murderer and a petty thief in the same manner. Get a grip and a sense of perspective.

2. That the US ought to be a Christian theocracy. This is a mistake in your political philosophy. You are free to believe as you do, the Welcoming and Affirming Baptists are free to believe as they do. Let me remind you what one of our Founding Fathers had to say about the religious foundation of the United States relative to the Muslim religion:

As the Government of the United States of America is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian religion; as it has in itself no character of enmity against the laws, religion, or tranquility, of Mussulmen; and, as the said States never entered into any war, or act of hostility against any Mahometan nation, it is declared by the parties, that no pretext arising from religious opinions, shall ever produce an interruption of the harmony existing between the two countries.

Nathan said...

While I applaud all of your abilities to respond to the Reverend with reasoned and well thought out responses, I have less patience.

Yo Rev! Everything you know is wrong. You're a douchebag.

Janiece Murphy said...

Am I the only one who thinks the insult "douchebag" is just the most fabulous insult ever?

Douchebag!

Random Michelle K said...

Nathan,

He wasn't actually worth wasting swear words on.

If I'm going to call someone names, then I'll make sure they're worth my time and effort.

I just exude snark however.

Carol Elaine said...

Nathan and Michelle, what you wrote is still much nicer than than what I would say, because my fury at such hypocritical hateful bigotry is such that coherent thought simply doesn't happen and all I can think is, "Fuck off and die." Not nice, and not at all intellectual, but such hatefulness doesn't deserve any intellectual energy I may possess. In the words of the late, great Madeline Kahn, "The f - it -flam - flames. Flames, on the side of my face, breathing-breathl- heaving breaths. Heaving breath..."

Right now I'm listening to the oral arguments against Prop 8 to the California Supreme Court. Interesting stuff.