Conversations with Karma - OJ Simpson

Saturday, October 4, 2008
*ring, ring*

OJ Simpson: Hello?

Karma: Hello, may I speak to OJ Simpson, please? This is Karma.

OJ: This is he. But I don't know any Karma.

K: Oh, I know you don't know Karma. That's been sticking in my craw for a awhile, let me tell you.

OJ: Wha?

K: I'm the eastern idea that you will receive your punishment or reward for your deeds. You know...what comes around goes around, people get what they deserve? Karma.

OJ: Uh, oh. I think I need to call my attorney.

K: Too late, Juice. Johnnie Cochrane is deader than a doornail. In fact, I think he's been reincarnated as a doormouse, so that's no good.

OJ: Crap.

K: Yes. I'm afraid life as you know it is over.

OJ: Crap.

K: You said that already. Listen, I took my first vacation in over 1,000 years during your murder trial. Was that a mistake. So I've had to work overtime since then to make up for mistakes. Sort of self-imposed Karma.

OJ: Is that what happened? I wondered.

K: Yes. And your commentary about finding the real killer really made me ramp up. Is that how you would encourage your team-mates in the NFL? Because it really motivated me to get cracking.

OJ: I was a good football player.

K: Yes, you were. But you're a crappy criminal. Do I need to tell you what's going to happen next?

OJ: No. But there's still a chance the sentencing will go my way!

K: That's true. Free will and all that. But I wouldn't take any bets on it.

*click*

4 comments:

Thordr said...

he has had due process, now if karma is really on the ball, his cell mate will be named Alice, 6' 8" and feeling randy.

Jim Wright said...

Yeah, fuck O.J.

Personally I don't care, one way or the other whether he killed his ex-wife and stole sports memorabilia at gun point. I. Just. Don't. Care. But I am utterly sick and tired of hearing about it - drop him into solitary, shiv him in prison, whatever - as long as the news shuts the hell up about him.

Janiece Murphy said...

Guido, thordr. We want him housed with Guido.

Thordr said...

I used to think as Jim does, during his murder trial, a year of that damned trial sucking up airtime, I've always been a news watcher and sometimes that just gets really annoying. I took an active dislike this time ‘cause some fucktarded producer thought that the trial should be shown on Headline News, WTF. I got home one night from work (I work 12 hrs a day, 7 days a week, when I'm on duty) and on all 5 news channels, CNN, HCNN, FOX, MSNBC and CNBC (another WTF, what did that have to do with business news?) they were discussing the verdict, therefore, the producers need to be in that cell with OJ, Guido, and Alice (and Alice is pissed that his momma named him Alice).