Who Cares? Magazine, Volume 2, Issue 39

Friday, October 17, 2008

Joe the Plumber isn't even a plumber! He's a Republican Plant! To counteract the United Association of Plumbers and Pipefitters endorsement of Obama! Or something! Who Cares!

18 comments:

Eric said...

What the mainstream liberal media elects don't understand is that as long as Joe has seen pipes from his house, he's qualified to be a plumber, even if he hasn't been "licensed" by the over-regulated and intrusive nanny state.

Eric said...

(I meant "elites," but the noun "elects" works just as well.)

Janiece Murphy said...

Eric, you are an evil, evil man, and you make me laugh and laugh.

And I now declare myself to be a qualified OB/GYN, because I went to see one yesterday.

Jerry Critter said...

It just shows you the shit hole that the republicans are willing to wallow in!

Carol Elaine said...

So I guess I'm qualified to be both an astrophysicist and an engineer, since I work with them and have seen proposals dealing with the stuff they work on. And I've been in the presence of models of space-faring vehicles. Oh, and I know basic math, and physicists and engineers know basic math, ergo I'm qualified to be both a physicist and engineer.

I'm gonna tell my boss I need more money to reflect my new-found importance.

Janiece Murphy said...

Carol Elaine, I recommend that you immediately start using the honorific "Dr.," and use your new-found qualifications to give those idjits over at CERN the what-for. You're clearly more qualified than them, and they've obviously overlooked the safety concerns that you should be able to spot right away.

Get cracking, girl!

Eric said...

Hang on--are we sure Dr. Carol Elaine is fully qualified? Dr. Carol--do you play chess? If the answer is yes, please file your motion for a restraining order against CERN ASAP before they destroy the world with their electrical fault!

But seriously: the significance of Joe's, um, "status" doesn't really have anything to do with Joe. It has to do with the fact that it appears McCain's prep team vetted Joe about as well as they vetted Governor Palin.

Not that this is news or anything. But it is kinda funny.

Janiece Murphy said...

Eric, hence the "Who Cares" portion of today's show.

Carol Elaine said...

Eric, I play both chess and checkers and have been known to dabble in backgammon. In addition, one of my bosses (an astrophysicist) actually saw the LHC with his own eyes several months before it went online and I've seen him with my own eyes, therefore my credentials for advising CERN are impeccable. My complaint shall be filed with CERN forthwith.

--- Dr. Carol Elaine, Hon. Sc.D, MCh, MLIS, MPhys, EngD, Kupwuriso

Janiece Murphy said...

I thought "Kupwuriso" was a volcanic stage or someplace in Micronesia.

Clearly I'm mistaken, since Carol Elaine's abilities so far outstrip my own.

All hail Carol Elaine, Kupwuriso!

MWT said...

But can she pass standardized tests??!?! That part is absolutely crucial.

Janiece Murphy said...

Carol Elaine, I'm afraid we'll need your SAT and ACT scores to confirm your new position as our new Science Overlord. Anything from the '80's will do.

Random Michelle K said...

Hey! I kick *ass* on standardized tests!

What position do I get?

Janiece Murphy said...

Um, resident xenobiologist?

Carol Elaine said...

If Michelle kicks ass, shouldn't she be Head Procologist?

*rimshot* Thank you folks, I'll be here all week! Tip your waitress and don't try the veal!

As for my own standardized test scores, rest assured that they were high enough to enable me to graduate from any high school in the country. There is certainly no need for me to prove this, as my credentials have been widely documented by myself in previous comments, which should be sufficient for anyone.

Random Michelle K said...

Does that mean I can dissect Walter?

Janiece Murphy said...

Yes, Michelle, you can. With a sharp stick.

Random Michelle K said...

Ooh! I wonder what kind of strange and alien organs I'll find?

(runs off to find a sharp stick)

(runs back)

If they have a hard outer carapace I think I might need something sharper than a stick.

Do you think Jim will mind if I borrow some of his tools?