March 'Tard of the Month

Monday, April 6, 2009
I'm such a slacker. Here it is, April 6th, and we still haven't voted for the March 'Tard of the Month. I suck.

This month's contestants are Genine Compton, who believes breast feeding her child while talking on the phone and driving her other children to school is no more risky than walking down the street; yours truly, who believes everyone should should look at the world exactly as I do; The Abstinence Clown, who uses juggling and machete references to talk about why sex is teh eeevil; Ari Fleischer, who is apparently stuck in some Cheney-induced time warp; and Pope Benedict XVI, who is stuck in his own self-induced non-reality world.

18 comments:

AG said...

MnnyeeaaarrghhHH! The Abmyyyaaargh! Mf. Um. The Abstineeeeeeuughhhrgh! uh, ah. No, seriously, the Abstinence Claaarghhhhcgghtwankerhhhhg... Clown... gets my mmmmnnnnggghgfuckingdickhead... vote.

neurondoc said...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH! I can't choose. They are all so horrible, except you. Can I choose "all of the above, minus one"?

neurondoc said...

I know. I'll vote twice -- once from work, and once from home. I can certainly winnow it down to to two...

Random Michelle K said...

Hands down. Genie Compton for willful ignorance and child endangerment.

Janiece Murphy said...

Welcome, AG. Don't feel bad about your lack of self control (hee!) - the Abstinence Clown as a similar effect on me.

Lysambre said...

It was a very hard choice, I'm beginning to thing the 'tard of the world are aware of your blog and have a competition going on, a bit like " 'tard idol, who will be the next 'tard to win it all !" ...

Lysambre said...

"think" even instead of "thing" *facepalm* (is there still room for 'tard idol ? *crawls under the table*)

Carol Elaine said...

Tough choice as usual, but I've got my vote in for Genie Compton, for the reasons Michelle previously stated. That level of stupid should not be allowed to breed, drive a car or leave the house.

vince said...

Genine Compton by a nose. And Janiece, I'll grant you the occasional brain damage (aren't we'll all occasionally brain damaged) but 'tard - never. Mostly because true 'tards never get that they are 'tards, much less why they are 'tards.

Jeri said...

I agree. You're gonna have to stop nominating yourself - we'll never vote for you at a 'tard. ;)

And Genie FTW. (there's probably some clever pun about Genie, bottle, breastfeeding but I'm not very punny lately).

Jim Wright said...

Abstinence Clown. Because, really, Janice, Clown Sex.

A lot of kids are going to need a lot of therapy for a long time.

Also, talk about hypocrisy. I mean, seriously, you don't think they're all stuffed into that little car and nobody is getting their bobo honked, do you?

Jim Wright said...

Urk, Janiece. Janiece. Who the fuck in this Janice character?

Bad hands, bad.

Wendy said...

Um, I know professional clowns and related to one, and they would be horrified by that ass-hat.

However, my vote is for the 'tard mother. Has DFACs called back yet?

WendyB_09

Janiece Murphy said...

Jim, I voted for the Clown, too.

But 'Tard of the Month is democracy in action, so we may get pwnd.

neurondoc said...

I voted twice. I voted once in my official capacity (i.e., from my work computer) -- that was the abstinence clown clown. Then I just voted for Genie the not-genius. Both quite tard-ish.

Ilya said...

Like Michelle, I didn't think it was a close contest this month. That level of stupidity is hard to replicate.

Real Slim Shadowen said...

I have to be cruel as the newb going through your old posts. I am guilty of your problem, too. Any idiot can be a 'tard--it takes something truly idiotic to make a smart person stupid.

Ari Fleischer is just lying, not being stupid, though he's perhaps stupid in thinking that the majority of Americans still believe the previous administration's lies.

The Abstinence Clown is no dumber than other abstinence arguments I've seen, such as the "flames of passion" metaphor, which is stupid because it treats a metaphor literally.

Genine Compton is no dumber than people who talk on their (non-headset) cell phone and eat and drive and half a dozen other things at the same time--just more reckless, for risking another person's life with her dumbness.

And Pope Benedict XVI is the Pope. Jean-Paul II was the most beloved person that no one agreed with in the world. Benedict is continuing his second tradition, but not his first.

Therefore, you are the 'tard of the month, because those others are just run of the mill.

Janiece Murphy said...

Welcome, Real Slim Shadowen.

Unfortunately, the stupid keep on giving, as it were, while I'm trying to work on my problem. :-)