'Tard of the Week - "Jesusophile"

Tuesday, April 7, 2009


Just...wow. This is so fucking ignorant I don't even know where to begin. Can you imagine being married to this stupid motherfucker? The mind just boggles. If I was a Christian, I think I'd have to track this guy down and punch him in the throat for making me look bad by association.

Ur doing it rong.

42 comments:

neurondoc said...

I can't watch this until I get home (work blocks most videos), but your description made me want to wash out my brain with bleach (or maybe hydrchloric acid) prophylactically...

vince said...

Sex is not really meant to be pleasurable.

You're a fucking idiot (hey, I made a funny!). And you're making real Christians like me (and yes, I'll defend the part about "real Christians") look like an ass.

You need a clue-by-four to the head. Preferably by a Christian lesbian.

Janiece Murphy said...

You need a clue-by-four to the head. Preferably by a Christian lesbian.

Coffee. Monitor.

Hee!

The Mechanicky Gal said...

Couldn't get past 1:02.
That is all.

Kate said...

There is some speculation that this guy is acting. From certain things he does -- I would have to agree. Everything from the 'glory hole' behind him on the wall, to eating the orange he forced a perfectly normal spoon to have sex with.

If he is not joking, I think this guys has made more enemies in his fifteen minutes of fame than he has friends.

This is yet another staunch reminder that I will not be allowing my kids to get unsupervised internet access in my home until they are old enough to understand that some people should never be allowed to buy a webcam or learn to type... or breathe.

Janiece Murphy said...

Amy, you're just mad that sex is not enjoyable for women, and that you were put on this earth by god as a sperm receptacle.

The Mechanicky Guy will be so pleased.

Kate, I hadn't heard that. But the fact that he's so over the top and we still can't tell if it's a parody says a little something about his subject matter, IMO. And I hadn't noticed the Glory Hole until you pointed it out. Hee!

And you're very wise in terms of Internet access.

Jeri said...

I couldn't finish it either. I hope it's a parody but I'm all too afraid it's not. Ewwwww.... ick..... narcissistic idiot!

Max Cutrell said...

vaj-uh-nl!!!!1111111

kimby said...

"I'm not like other guys"

Um.....
Yeah.

You can say that again.
Neurondoc, pass me that bleach when you are done with it, I am suddenly feeling very icky.

And Vince, most excellent use of the clue-by-four!

Bruce, a work in progress said...

OH. MY. GOD.

For some reason I feel a need to apologize on behalf of men. Please tell me he's doing this as a joke. If he's not it would not be possible for him to have less of a clue or be a bigger douchebag.

He mentions "wasted sperm" towards the end of the video. He should change his YouTube username to that.

Vince, LOVE the "clue by four"! Hope you don't mind if I steal it for future use.

Janiece Murphy said...

Hi, Bruce. No need to apologize on behalf of men - simply offer to punch him in the head if you ever run into him. You can even use the "Clue x 4."

vince said...

If Kate is right, he needs to be pickier about his job choices. If this is supposed to be parody - well, if I knew it was parody, maybe it would be funny. I'd have to think about it.

Bruce, feel free to steel it, because I stole it from several people, one of whom is Janiece.

Anne C. said...

Even if this guy is parodying, there are people who really believe this s***.

Cindi in CO said...

Even if I COULD watch this, I wouldn't.

Because my particular corner of Redneck Central is loaded with these asswipes.

I don't listen to it in person either.

Janiece Murphy said...

Cindi, you're just mad that you were put on this earth to serve men.

Such self-hatred is most unbecoming, you know. You should just submit to the will of the Lo-ard.

What?

Nathan said...

Damn,

I had to do stuff today and didn't have the time to get in one of the first comments. The guy's an ass no matter how you look at it. Either he believes what he's saying (in this and his other videos), or he's doing parody so bad you can't even be sure it's parody.

Either way, he's doing it rwong!

Putz.

Wendy said...

Putz.
Now THERE'S a word you just don't hear enough of lately. And since we seem to be surrounded by putz's, we should definately haul it out more often!

Thanks Nathan!

WendyB_09

Janiece Murphy said...

Wendy, I'm quite fond of "douchebag," myself.

Cindi in CO said...

How about "Swine-Weenie"?

Janiece Murphy said...

"Fuck-stick."

Cindi in CO said...

"Dicksmack"

Janiece Murphy said...

"Fuck-knuckle."

Carol Elaine said...

"Evidence in favor of the argument for sterilization."

What? Too wordy?

(Could only watch one minute. Gah.)

Nathan said...

Douche-noodle?

I have no idea what it means, but it's so god-awful cute.

Megan said...

I'm pretty sure this is supposed to be a joke. It's not very funny, though. It could be a lot better.

Keith Wilson said...

I made 4 minutes into this moron's rant. What this jack ass needs is clue by four up his ASS. Where did you find this shithead?

Keith Wilson said...

I posted before I read the rest... Did anyone make it through this without puking?

Janiece Murphy said...

Megan, I sincerely hope this douchebag's not serious.

Either way, though, he's a 'tard.

mattw said...

Oh My God. In one of his other videos he explains, with Science!, how condoms do not prevent the spread of AIDS.

This guy is a fuck'tard if I ever saw one.

Janiece Murphy said...

Matt, you watched his other videos? You have a stronger stomach than I...

mattw said...

I just watched the one other one. It was a morbid curiosity. Apparently, this dumbshit thinks condoms have as many holes in them as a strainer, and these holes are small enough to hold back sperm, but large enough to let viruses pass freely.

neurondoc said...

I watched last night after I got home. I lasted about a minute, then my eyeballs clouded over and my brain had to reboot. Then I washed it all out with bleach and felt better.

Jim Wright said...

Holy fucking shit.

If it's a parody, it's not a good parody.

If it's not a parody, well, this guy needs to get kicked in the balls repeatedly by the aforementioned Christian lesbian with hobnail boots - because, really, sex for this guy should hurt. A lot.

And Bruce, don't go apologizing for men. This idiot is not a man.

Eric said...

It's obviously parody, and it's pretty funny. (Disclaimer: I've had a few "beverages" this evening, which may be, erm, influencing my opinion).

Eric said...

(The humor being just how cluelessly offensive is--e.g. I don't think there's a fundamentalist on Earth who would be so blunt about "putting his sperm" somewhere.)

Eric said...

For more proof it's parody, watch his clip on evolution, in which he ponders why giraffes don't have wings.

Eric said...

Okay, last reply: watch his entry on swearing. I started to write more but I don't want to spoil it.

PaulExcoff said...

how did you not get that this is satire? mayhaps, the tard of the week isn't he.

Janiece said...

Welcome, PaulExcoff. I think.

There's no need to be rude about it - regular Kate already pointed out that this was satire, and we all agreed in the comments (which you would have known, had you bothered to read them).

I certainly missed the boat here, but in this particular case, I'm thinking I'd rather be a 'tard (as you accuse), than be the kind of ill-mannered douchebag who enters people's online homes for the sole purpose of being, you know, a douche.

Alexandru said...

i am astonished to see how many people think this guy is for real! I lived in America for five years, but I didn't realize that so many Americans (including the supposedly smart and enlightened and non-religious) have no sense of humor whatosever... For God's sake, look at his eyes when he's uttering the most outrageous stuff. The guy is a comedian! and a very good one, in my view!

Alexandru said...

And, by the way, he's obviously a DUTCH comedian. Both his accent and his style of humor give him away. If any of you can even imagine that a Dutch person of his age, his look and his behavior can be a ``Christian fundamentalist", then you obviously have never been to Amsterdam! (And I wish you all to go there sometimes, which you might, provided that you've been bad people: since, as the tshirt says, good boys and girls go to Heaven, while bad ones go to... guess where?)

Yes, Vince, he's making ``real Christins like you look like an ass"! Indeed. Have you ever considered that this may have been intentional?! If you never thought of that, well, then... maybe he's not the idiot...

Janiece said...

Gee, Alexandru, I think I'll just repost the response I made to the douche that came before you. Also? You're a couple of years too late. Way to be timely and relevant.

"There's no need to be rude about it - regular Kate already pointed out that this was satire, and we all agreed in the comments (which you would have known, had you bothered to read them).

I certainly missed the boat here, but in this particular case, I'm thinking I'd rather be a 'tard (as you accuse), than be the kind of ill-mannered douchebag who enters people's online homes for the sole purpose of being, you know, a douche."