Attention, National Enquirer - You Suck!

Friday, March 21, 2008
When I was looking for something to make fun of for this week's edition of "Who Cares? Magazine," I was bombarded - for the second week in a row - with pictures and headlines of Patrick Swayze, smoking cigarettes.

As you may or may not have heard, Patrick Swayze was recently diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. As you also probably know, pancreatic cancer is invariably fatal, unless it's diagnosed as an incidental finding (prior to the patient being symptomatic).

So here's this man, who's been with the same woman since 1975, who has overcome alcoholism and tragedy, who's been diagnosed with a fatal cancer. He's been smoking three packs a day since forever, and is undergoing radical chemotherapy.

And the tabloid press is stalking him, taking pictures of him smoking, and blasting headlines like "Swayze: Chemotherapy and Cigarettes!"

Man, sometimes I forget about just how classless and clueless these motherfuckers really are. Then they do something like this to remind me. Of course he hasn't quit smoking. Quitting smoking is a huge pain in the ass, and sometimes it takes years to find out who you are without smoking as your daily companion. Does anyone seriously think that his quitting now will make any kind of difference in his prognosis?

Leave him the hell alone, National Enquirer. You're not helping, and the man and his family deserve to spend his final months without having to fuck around with you. Fucktards.

10 comments:

Cindi in CO said...

This really pisses me off. Fucking asshole swine-weenie retard dick heads.

And we won't even get into the folks who take this ridiculous crap as gospel. "They couldn't print it if it wasn't true!"

Whatever.

Shawn Powers said...

Not to take away from the absurdity of the NE as it relates to... well... anything, but the "swine-weenie" line made me chuckle. :)

But yeah, it pains me that people (read: idgits) are now thinking he "brought this on himself" because he won't quit smoking...

Janiece Murphy said...

Shawn, I don't think anyone disputes that there may be a correlation between his lifetime of smoking and his current health issues. But really, why is that anybody's business but his and his wife's? And what makes these "idgits" think he doesn't already know that?

Me and Cindi's Granddad died of pancreatic cancer. Nobody deserves that.

Shawn Powers said...

I guess I meant, "brought this on himself by not quitting smoking now"

That's really what the NE is trying to sell, is that if you don't quit smoking once you get sick, you must of course deserve to have cancer. Or any number of other insulting insinuations. Ugh.

And yes, no one deserves cancer.

Janiece Murphy said...

Shawn, yeah, they're ignoramuses, no question.

They suck.

Jeri said...

Despicable vultures. :(

Carol Elaine said...

I hope y'all don't mind if I let loose a few choice words: mother-fucking assholes.

Many moons ago (in the late 80s) I briefly took ballet and jazz lessons from his mother, Patsy. She's a great lady, as is Patrick's sister Bambi. I didn't know them well and I haven't seen them in over a decade, but it kills me what this extreme assholery might be doing to them.

Janiece Murphy said...

Carol Elaine, you know you can drop the "F Bomb" here anytime.

And if anyone deserves the "F Bomb," it's these asshats.

Carol Elaine said...

Janiece, I knew the F-bomb wouldn't be a problem - I just like to be polite when adding expletive modifiers and nouns.

Tom said...

Janiece, once again you get right to the right point. Thanks.

Dad smoked forever. He died from errors during otherwise successful lung cancer surgery. It took me a year after that to stop smoking.

I stayed stopped for only a year before I started again. I think I want to stop, but it is extremely hard. This after I successfully stopped cocaine, pot, alcohol, and all other mind altering drugs.

But yeah, their attitude and their intrusiveness. Real fruitcakes!