Conversations with Karma - Hillary

Wednesday, March 26, 2008
*Ring, Ring*

Unidentified Female: Hillary for President campaign headquarters!

Karma: Hillary Rodham Clinton, please. It's Karma calling.

UF: We just call her "HILLARY."

K: Okay. Hillary, please.

UF: No, HILLARY.

K: Just get her, will you? I haven't got all day. I have to make an emergency house call in New York.

*pause*

HILLARY: Hello, this is HILLARY.

K: Hello, Hillary. This is Karma.

H: It's HILLARY, actually. And Karma who?

K: No last name. Just Karma. The eastern idea that you will receive your punishment or reward for your deeds. You know...what comes around goes around, people get what they deserve? Karma.

H: Is that a Methodist concept? Because everyone knows HILLARY is a METHODIST.

K: No, it's an eastern idea. Buddhist and Hindu, primarily.

H: I'M a METHODIST.

K: Yes, I know. Listen, I'm rather busy this week, so I'll get right to the point. Remember when you said you came under sniper fire in 1996 when you visited Bosnia as First Lady?

H: Yes. THAT was harrowing, let me tell you.

K: You already told the world. On video. It's on "YouTube."

H: I love modern technology.

K: We'll see. Listen, I'm afraid there's a little problem with your assertions.

H: I'm sure I have no idea what you're talking about.

K: I'm sure you do. Because you were the First Lady, there was lots of coverage of that visit to Bosnia. Cameras and such. And they documented your visit, including you and Chelsea disembarking at the airport. And that's on "YouTube," as well.

*Silence*

K: You still there, HILLARY?

H: Yes.

K: Well, there's more.

H: Oh, I'm sure of that. The right wing conspiracy will stop at nothing to keep me from getting elected. Nothing!

K: The right wing conspiracy? Oh, you mean Sinbad and the Obama campaign? Yes, they're pretty right wing.

H: Sinbad? Sinbad outted me? NICE. And I expect nothing less from BARACK HUSSEIN OSAMA.

K: You mean Obama.

H: You say Obama, I say Osama. He's not a METHODIST. He's a member of some RADICAL BLACK CHURCH.

K: Yes. Well. We're not really talking about him, are we? I think people are most outraged that you would lie about this particular thing. With so many members of our armed forces being hurt or killed by enemy fire, people want to know why you felt justified in co-opting that experience as your own, in order to bolster your foreign relations experience.

H: First of all, what makes you so smart?

K: Well, I've been around a long time. A LONG time. And I am somewhat obligated to keep apprised of current events, to ensure I'm available when my services are needed.

H: Second of all, I didn't co-opt ANYTHING. Being married to Bill really was like being under enemy fire.

K: But that's not what you said, you chose to stay with him, and it's really not the point. I have to leave for New York. I just wanted to let you know personally that your little fabrication is going to be national news.

H: It's not fair! When Osama was associated with a radical, he came out a hero! I make one little misstatement, and I'm vilified! WHY?

K: I really think it's a matter of character, since you asked my opinion.

H: What's that supposed to mean?

K: You're normally an intelligent woman, HILLARY. I'm sure you'll figure it out. I'm off to New York. Good luck in Pennsylvania!

*Click*

H: I'm not giving up! You hear me, Karma? I'M NOT GIVING UP. I will be the first woman president of the United States! Otherwise, why did I stay married to that cheating bastard all those years? I WILL OVERCOME. You hear me, Karma? KARMA? That SOB hung up on me. I'm sure he's in league with that upstart Osama...

8 comments:

Cindi in CO said...

Boy, she really screwed the pooch this time, didn't she?

And I love the whole HILLARY thing.

What I said last week about you not being funny? I was wrong. Hee.

Janiece Murphy said...

I told you.

camsavwin said...

*chuckle, chuckle, snort..*

vince said...

Thank you for much grins and giggles this morning. It's really too bad that she so desperately wants to be President, or feels that she is entitled to be President, that she will now say or do practically anything that she believes will accompish that goal, regardless of how it damages her party's chances in the next election or damages her own credibility.

Janiece Murphy said...

Vince, she's always rubbed me the wrong way, but I kept trying to convince myself that I was being too hard on her, etc., etc. With this, she lost me. Now I think I wasn't too hard on her, I was too easy.

Becca said...

Did you see that like mother like daughter? Nice shot of the daughter telling a questioner that her fathers improprieties are none of his business! Imagine that, out in the public but not for public consumption...what is she 12? Or 28?

Janiece Murphy said...

Becca, I didn't. But since I could give a rat's ass about the Clinton's sex life or marriage, it would of gone in one ear and out the other.

Now there's a cover for "Who Cares? Magazine."

mom in northern said...

Karma

Off to New York EH

Off to pay a call on the one time gov are you ?