'Tard of the Week - Sally Kern

Tuesday, June 30, 2009
God bless Oklahoma Representative Sally Kern. Like Karl Rove and Rush Limbaugh, she's the Republican gift that just keeps on giving and giving, even when you'd really like to tell her to wipe he drool off her chin and keep her ideas to herself.

Her latest wackadoodle endeavor is called the "OKLAHOMA CITIZEN’S PROCLAMATION FOR MORALITY." She's championing this startling piece of rhetoric because she honestly believes...wait for it...that our economic woes are being caused by our immoral behavior.

Now, on the surface, this kind of makes sense. There were plenty of people whose unbridled greed did lead to this crisis, especially in light of sub prime mortgages and other financial shenanigans.

But that's not the type of moral turpitude Representative Kern is referring to.

She feels that "abortion, pornography, same sex marriage, sex trafficking, divorce, illegitimate births, child abuse, and many other forms of debauchery" are the root cause. That's right - Adam Smith's invisible hand is bitch-slapping the market because some single lesbian had the temerity to want a family and actually, you know, marry her partner.

Oh, and the supporting cause of our troubles? That bastard Obama who refuses to adequately participate in our "National Day of Prayer."

::snort::

It appears that Representative Kern's desire for the spotlight is only outweighed by her complete and utter ignorance of economics and what constitutes ethical behavior.

That's right, Sally Kernservative - I'm calling you out for being a complete and utter 'tard, completely unqualified to speak on any matter of importance, up to and including the economic crisis, America's moral character, and whether or not President Obama is a fit moral leader. In fact, I think you yourself are a completely unfit moral leader, due to your obvious bigotry, self-righteousness and willful inability to see reality.

Fucking 'tard. I think everyone concerned would be happier if you'd simply shut the fuck up from now on, don't you?

10 comments:

Karl said...

Ellen tried to call her but Kern's voicemail was full... hee!

Kern - reminds me of...

"Stern! He's nothing but a lowdown, double-dealing, backstabbing, larcenous, perverted worm. Hanging's too good for him! Burning's too good for him! He shold be torn into little bitsy pieces and buried alive!"

Yeah, that kinda 'tardness just does nobody any good.

Janiece Murphy said...

Hehe. Yeah, ole Sally's a real charmer...

Jerry Critter said...

Hey, Palin/Kern in 2012! They ought to find a slot for Michelle Bachmann also. They can run on the 'Tard Ticket.

Steve Buchheit said...

Reminds me of a serious report on Fox (okay, well as serious as they can get) I saw this weekend about how the Obama's really weren't attending church all that often and were probably going to make the Camp David Church (non-denominational Evergreen Chapel) their "official" church.

I was stunned into actually watching it as I think the stupidity went into buffer overload of my brain.

Wendy said...

Oh, I {HEART} Ellen!!! Too bad she didn't get through.

As for Fox's "news" if the Obama's want to worship at Camp David, who are we to tell them otherwise? I suspect they're more interested in quality family time than the media circus that going to church every Sunday would entail.

On the other point, the President seems to be taking a religious "neutral" position on attending and supporting events. Yes, he knows of these events and supports the thought behind it, but is too busy trying to get the country back on track to run around the country appeasing every religious group clammoring for his attention. Works for me.

WendyB_09

Eric said...

I thought about doing a post on Rep. Kern just to talk about the embarrassing lack of really good debauchery in this country. I mean, seriously: is this the best we can do? Granted, one has to praise the governor of South Carolina for trying to play up how he was debauching himself in New York when he wasn't having steamy, Biblically-themed sex with his hot Latina fuckbuddy/girlfriend, but even he had to go and spoil it by labeling her his "soulmate" (ick--talk about your cheesy Lifetime Channel catchphrases) and quoting the wrong parts of the Bible (if you're going to go with Biblical erotica, you gotta choose the right book: "Thy two breasts are like two young roes that are twins, which feed among the lilies," etc., instead of that boring stuff Sanford was preaching at his fair Maria).

I mean, really. Let's get some quality sin in for a change. I find Kern's lack of faith in American ingenuity and know-how depressing. We sure as Hell can be more depraved than the Japanese if we really set our minds to it! USA! USA! USA!

Janiece Murphy said...

Eric, I think we can raise the bar on debauchery, too.

I think the UCF Trollops should make that our new mission.

Gals? What say you?

Carol Elaine said...

*raises hand*

Ooh, I'm in!

UCF Trollops: Debauchery 'r' Us!

(Urgh, not good. Will some Trollop come up with a better motto? My brain's fuzzy from medication and sinus pressure.)

Wendy said...

Debauchery 'r' Us!

Hey, I'm good with that...

WendyB_09

Tom said...

I'm not a UCF trollop, so I may be disqualified, but the first thing I thought was "Debauchery Be We". And it's aliterative. Or would that be avowelative?