2012

Monday, December 31, 2012

A River of Snot

So the Smart Man and I were supposed to go to a nice dinner tonight to bring in the New Year. Unfortunately, I am currently drowning in a river of snot, and I didn't think spending $200 on an evening out when my best trick would be sneezing into the appetizer would be a good use of resources. So it's home for us this year.

Also? My friend Nathan tells me that "River of Snot" is his new band name. I'm so glad I could help.

Please die in a fire

2012 was not the best year evah. My family lost one of our lovely aunties. We lost our beloved Boogie. Seems like everyone we know was struggling to a greater or lesser extent with crappy things happening to them and theirs. I'm just ready for 2012 to be OVER, thankyouverymuch.

But it wasn't all bad

On the bright side, I did make a professional change that was basically nothing but good. In spite of my "Vestibule of Hell" travel schedule, I'm doing work that matters to me, that has value to the communities I visit, and I'm working with some really stellar people. I'm calling this a "win." Well, it's a "win" providing those yutzes in Washington don't push us off the fiscal cliff, resulting in massive layoffs in the Military Industrial Complex.

Speaking of 2012...

Dave Berry has his annual 2012 recap up, and it's as hilarious as ever. The money quote is from October:
With polls showing a very tight race, the final weeks of the campaign are a textbook example of what this great experiment called “American democracy” is all about: two opposing political parties, each with valid positions, spending hundreds of millions of dollars on comically simplistic radio and TV ads designed by consultants to terrify ill-informed halfwits.
Just so.

But on a better, lighter note, here's some advice for 2013

Klassy with a "K"

I learned the other day that the parents of a child who went to Sandy Hook Elementary - and survived the events of that horrible day - are suing the Newtown School District because their child has sustained psychological harm. The claim states that the Board of Education, Department of Education and Education Commissioner had failed to take appropriate steps to protect children from “foreseeable harm.”

What the fuck? No, really - what the fuck? Every person in that school was psychologically damaged by the events of that day. Every. Single. One. But let's identify the REAL opportunity in those horrifying events! It's to get rich off the suffering of the community! 

Ugh. I do not classify these people as "helpers." That's some shameful shit right there.
What the fuck? No really - what the fuck?  more here: http://www.miamiherald.com/2012/12/29/v-fullstory/3160638/dave-barrys-year-in-review.html#storylink=cpy

Free Shit Friday - Triple Berry Jam

Friday, December 28, 2012


I'm trying to get back on schedule here at Hot Chicks Dig Smart Men, but honestly, don't hold your breath. My travel schedule for the first quarter is quickly turning into a one-way trip to the vestibule of Hell.

First, the winner of the Festivus Eve Apple Butter is Shawn, with a Random Number of 4. Enjoy!

Today's Free Shit Friday offering is a pint of Triple Berry Jam.

da Rules.

Statistical Thursday

Thursday, December 27, 2012

Open Up the Book

I was looking at my book tally for 2012, and it turns out I read 10 fewer books in 2012 than I did in 2011 for a total of 80. And of those 80, seven were textbooks or technical material. I'm a bit resentful about this, because THERE ARE SO MANY GOOD BOOKS, AND I MUST READ THEM ALL. Rededicating my reading time to technical material is irksome.

However, not being unemployed and homeless is something I enjoy as well, so I suspect I'll just have to suck it up.

Abundance and Charity

I also knitted 100 fewer pieces this year than I did in 2011. That outcome was most directly related to my travel schedule. According to TripIt, I spent 64 days away from home in 2012, most (but not all) of which was business related. I don't take my knitting when I travel - I can't spare the space, and have no time for such things in any event. Unfortunately, I suspect 2013 will be worse in this regard rather than better.

Please Release Me

On the bright side, I've completed five professional certifications this calendar year, with more on the horizon (next scheduled exam: January 31st). I sincerely hope that my future exams don't cause my brain to explode in the same way that the thrice-damned one did. I don't think I can take it.

Try a Little Kindness

I'm still working on my 26 Random Acts of Kindness. It's taking a while in my case because it's important to me that they be truly random, and unless I'm traveling I rarely leave my house. I want this particular exercise to force me to see those around me who, as my buddy Carolyn notes, have some sort of bizarre cloak of invisibility, and to help them when I can.

Auld Lang Syne

Christmas around here was pretty good. My Hot MIL came in from Ohio, my Hot Mom came down from Longmont, and we had a a few other friends, as well. I made four pans of lasagna. For TEN PEOPLE. This is not unusual at our house - when we have people over, I can't think of a single event that would horrify and embarrass me more than not having enough food. So our cups runneth over, each and every time, and everyone got leftovers. Also: Our friend Ken brought a raspberry white chocolate bundt cake from a shop called "Nothing Bundt Cakes," and I'm pretty sure the baker has some sort of Faustian bargain going on. Oh. My.

For New Year's, the Smart Man and I will be having a nice dinner at one of our favorite restaurants, The Augustine Grill in Castle Rock. They have baked brie with Lingonberries, and since I consider brie to be a basic food group all on its own, I may just have several orders of that for my meal. DON'T JUDGE ME. Of course, I'm sure we'll be home by nine, because we're completely out of control like that.

I hope you're all having a nice holiday season!

In the Spirit of Christmas

Wednesday, December 26, 2012
So my Hot MIL has been visiting us from Ohio for the holidays. It was a fairly short visit, and she was supposed to return home today. Unfortunately, the Dayton area is expecting 10 inches of snow today, and her flight was cancelled. These things happen - you do the best you can with what you get.

We tried to rebook her on Southwest, who indicated that not only could they not get her out before Saturday, they also would not give her a voucher to book an earlier flight on another airline so she could return to work in a timely manner. Merry Christmas!

So the Smart Man went to Expedia to find a flight for tomorrow. He found something on United Airlines for a semi-reasonable price, but when he hit the "book it" button to purchase the ticket, the service popped up with "Oh, we're sorry, the cost of this ticket has been increased by 300%." Merry Christmas!

It's no secret I think the airline industry is an incestuous cesspool of human misery that desperately needs to be re-regulated (even if that means significantly higher fares). But this really was beyond the pale. A three hundred percent markup from one minute to the next? Really?

Fuck you, United Airlines. Fuck you very much.

Midwinter Lights

Tuesday, December 25, 2012
Photo Credit: Smart Man

Free Shit Festivus Eve*

Monday, December 24, 2012

Today's special Free Shit Friday giveaway is a pint of my too-awesome-for words Apple Butter. This batch is a little thinner than normal, as I have yet to find a way to accurately gauge and adjust for the variable sugar content of Granny Smith apples. It's a still tasty, though.

da Rules.

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*Yes, yes, my alliteration blows big chunks. Give me a break.

The Angels Sang

Saturday, December 22, 2012
The UPS Man came yesterday, bearing gifts for yours truly:


I've had my eye on these babies for quite some time, and when I finally had the money to buy them, the online Fluevog store didn't have them in my size. OH THE HORROR. The nice folks at the new Minneapolis store recommended I check third party vendors, and lo and behold, AMAZON TO THE RESCUE.


Rowr. Because I always deserve a better class of shoe.

Deserving a better class of relationship

Friday, December 21, 2012
One of the interesting and painful things about growing into the person you want to be is the realization that you deserve a better class of relationship.

People who continue to grow need people around them who also continue to grow. And the disappointing fact is that many, many people have a tendency to coast through life, maintaining the status quo, not learning anything new about either themselves or the world around them.

I was a late bloomer in this respect, and didn't come to the realization that I deserved a better class of relationship until I was in my thirties. The realization led to a purge of not-so-stable friends, the refusal of dates with the Parade-of-Loser boyfriends, and in my forties, the decision that "a better class of relationship" applies to those I'm related to by blood, too.

Now my Hot Daughter is realizing this hard truth, as well. Because she's smarter and more emotionally stable than her mother, she's doing this work in her 20's rather than her 30's and 40's. I'm very proud of her for making decisions surrounding how she deserves to be treated that are based in self-respect. The outcome of this work will be a better, healthier life, filled with people who help her to grow and make her a better person by their presence.

But I ache for her, as well. Letting go of the people who take you for granted, who make you feel bad about yourself for their own convenience, who do not consider you when they make their decisions is a good thing, leading to a good outcome. But that doesn't mean it's not painful as hell.

Thank you, anonymous strangers

Thursday, December 20, 2012
Yesterday my Hot Daughter had an accident on snowy and slick roads. She lost control of her vehicle, slid front end first into a decorative light post, and ended up on the sidewalk. Thankfully, she was not hurt, although the car's in pretty bad shape.

While she was waiting for the police to arrive and making phone calls to the various people who needed to be notified, she said that over ten people stopped with offers of help, some on foot, and some in their own vehicles.

Thank you, anonymous strangers, for looking out for my baby girl.

Random Acts of Kindness

Tuesday, December 18, 2012
There's a trend out there. A trend that is lifting my spirit and giving me hope.

I'm speaking of the grassroots initiative to memorialize the victims of the Sandy Hook shooting by performing 26 Random Acts of Kindness. By, as Mr. Rogers noted so sincerely, not only looking for the helpers, but by becoming them.

I love this idea so much. The hashtags are #20Acts or #26Acts, and I've created a Tumblr for the purpose of collecting and sharing stories. Feel free to join, and submit your stories if you wish. It's time to elevate the human spirit instead of allowing it to be defined by the ugliness of Friday's events.

Looking for the Helpers

Sunday, December 16, 2012
When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, "Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping." To this day, especially in times of disaster, I remember my mother's words, and I am always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers - so many caring people in this world. 
Mr. Rogers
When the unnamed Connecticut shooter was doing his dirty business on Friday, Victoria Leigh Soto became a helper. She hid her first grade class, lied to the gunman about their location, and was then shot to death. Not a single student under her care was harmed.

No matter how awful, how deranged, how evil the unnamed shooter was, Victoria Leigh Soto was infinitely, amazingly, courageously better.

Unintended Consequences

Saturday, December 15, 2012
Like most people, I'm appalled by the events of yesterday. I can't even imagine what those families must be going through...or maybe I can, and that's why I'm so appalled.

But I'm not shocked by yesterday's events. Such destruction happens far too often for me to be surprised by the ways in which humans can hurt one another, or by the ways in which people refuse to take any kind of responsibility for the unintended consequences of their political will.

A lot has been written about it, but I think my friend Eric's essay The Guns of December most closely explains my own thoughts on the matter as it relates to gun control:
I want to hear from the other side.  I want to hear someone--preferably a card-carrying member of the National Rifle Association--tell me, preferably to my face, not that they want dead children (because that would be a bit much and we all know that isn't true), but they're okay with them.  That they understand that's the price of their convenient access to easy, deregulated weaponry and they're willing to keep paying it.  Keep in mind: I already know this to be true, I just want to fucking hear them telling me the fucking truth for a change.  I want to hear the words slip softly over their lips that they know what they're paying and they're settled with that, their souls rest easy in the hollow basins in their skulls.  That they sleep at night with this because they can.
When we make decisions on policy, there are consequences to that policy. And only those who are unserious about their franchise pretend like they bear no personal responsibility for those consequences. Because no matter how you slice it, when you choose an action - or in this case, choosing an inaction - you also choose the consequences of that action or inaction. Which in this case, means lots more dead Judges, moviegoers, and children.

Let's take the legalization of marijuana as a personal example. I voted to legalize marijuana in this state. I believed that using marijuana in moderation was no worse than using alcohol in moderation, and as a general rule, I tend to favor more freedom to act rather than less. But that doesn't mean I didn't consider the unintended consequences. It's entirely possible that Colorado will end up with an entire cadre of stoners who, as a result of this law, choose to use marijuana in ways that are not moderate, and in fact could only be considered extreme, i.e., smoking pot several times a day, every day, resulting in long-term cognitive impairment. That's absolutely possible. But the outcome of such extremity lies almost solely with the stoners. No one ever went into a school and beat some poor child to death with a baggie full of buds, so this risk is acceptable to me.

I don't think anyone can make a case that American's lack of gun control carries a similar level of acceptable risk, because the consequences of extreme behavior are so very, very severe.

Yes, yes, people kill people, blah, blah, blah. The fact of the matter is that when you're dealing with events like these, people kill people with guns. And the scope of their destruction is increased exponentially by their access to firearms. There are other issues at play here, of course - the lack of mental health services, for example. But the bottom line is that a major contributing factor in these cases is America's lack of vision in this area. Do I believe the ownership of firearms should be illegal? No, I don't. But I think our culture's fetishization of guns has entirely too high a price in the area of  unintended consequences. And what really shocks me is that there are so many people who sincerely, honestly believe that those consequences are entirely acceptable.

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ETA: If we are to have an honest, fact based discussion about the proper way in which to modify gun control in this country (seriously - I'm not holding my breath), then let us begin with facts, those pesky things. I myself am particularly interested in numbers 1 and 9.

Words for Wednesday

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Nowhere to Run to

So I'm still running, about three days a week. I'm up to 95 minutes without stopping, which for me translates to between seven and eight miles. And just yesterday, I added sprints to my routine, because apparently I need counseling in this area.

The fact of the matter is that I'm still struggling with the loss of our beloved Boogie as well as my par-for-the-course holiday depression. I'm hoping that doubling down on my cardio at the expense of my weight training will hold the bad feelings at bay so that I might continue to function in ways that aren't really optional at this point in my life.

I still feel like shit, but I'm functional, so I'm going to call this a "win." Except for the part where my quads and calves are in a constant state of achy stiffness, and I'm apparently losing several of my toenails. Whee.

The Ballad of Mad Dogs and Englishman

Speaking of Boogie, we're still attempting to revise our daily activities (and our lives) to a state where we're not always looking for him, making plans for his care, etc. We retrieved his ashes after the cremation, and while we initially thought we'd want to scatter them in the area where he took his daily walkies, when the time came we couldn't bring ourselves to do so. Now they're on the mantle, waiting for their final disposition, which is still undecided.

His blankets and bed went to the Animal Emergency and Specialty Center, who cared for him in his final days, and his crate went to City Bark, the awesome kennel which he considered Doggie Purgatory, but wasn't. Turns out City Bark also does large dog rescue, and they'll use his crate for dogs that need that help. We donated his food and snacks to the local Food Bank, who are always looking for pet food for their clients.

All of these donations made us happy, as we feel we were supporting other families and pets who needed help. A small comfort, but comfort nevertheless.

The Ice of Boston

I'm heading out to Boston this morning on my latest business jaunt. I'm still neck-deep in Next Generation 911 technology and integration issues, which is actually a good thing. Working on technology that allows people "always-on" access to emergency services is satisfying work, as opposed to, I don't know, working on technology that allows people to bitch and cry about how they're having trouble surfing the pr0n. Because really, I'm pretty sure my giving any kind of shit about someone's inability to surf the pr0n would violate some physical law.

I'll be back late Friday, so (once again), you guys are on your own for a few days. Please don't burn the place down.

A Week of Gratitude, Day Seven - Remembering Boogie

Saturday, December 8, 2012
On Thanksgiving Day, Boogie the Giant Schnauzer progressively lost most of his mobility in his back legs. By the next morning, he couldn't get up, stand, or walk on his own, so we took him to the Animal Emergency and Specialty Center here in Parker, where he was diagnosed with Fibrocartilagenous Embolism (FCE), which is basically a stroke-like event in the spinal cord. He was admitted for supportive care and observation, but his immobility got worse over the critical first 48 hours rather than better. So two weeks ago today, in consultation with the admitting veterinarian, the Smart Man and I decided to put him to sleep.

He lived with us here in the Big Yellow House since shortly after we moved in. I have spent the last eleven years primarily working from home, and he has been my constant companion. The house seems empty without him, and everywhere there are reminders of the gap in our lives that he filled with such joy. My grief is exhausting, exacerbated by my normal holiday depression.

And yet, I am so very grateful to have known this dog, to have had him in my life for the time that he was with us. So today I remember my Boogie, my companion and friend, the sweetest dog in the world.


This was taken the day we brought him home from the airport. He was four months old, and he was terrified. He got over that fairly quickly, and expressed his displeasure at being gated into the utility room by digging a hole in the wall. We crate trained him shortly thereafter.


While his beard was growing in, the Smart Man's best friend insisted that he looked like a Muppet and usually sang the Muppet theme song whenever he saw him. Boogie loved him anyway, and for many years the Smart Friend was his surrogate family when we were out of town. And once his beard actually did grow in, he made a habit of wiping it dry on the leg of his favorite people after each and every drink. Because he was a sharer like that. 


He eventually grew into a rambunctious, beautiful young adult whose shenanigans kept us laughing and on our toes. He almost managed to knock himself out by running into walls (there's still a dent in the corner support in the kitchen). He insisted on barking at his reflection in the mirror. He went through a phase of stealing the meat and cheese from sandwiches (but not the veggies or bread) if you left them unattended. He managed to snag a meatball off a counter as they were draining. His sophisticated appearance was deceiving, as this was goofiest dog on the planet, and in no way effective at hiding his misbehavior.


He was also a very helpful dog, as you can see from this photograph of him assisting me with my knitting.


And helping me water my Marigolds.


Even as he got older, he still remained a very handsome boy, and he managed to win over most everyone he came into contact with. The depth of my love for this animal has always been a little surprising. It's a simple, uncomplicated thing, just like him, and my grief is the same.

 
His most favorite thing to do in the entire world, the thing that measured his quality of life and made us realize that his time with us had come to an end, was his daily walkies. As he got older, I would usually make him wait until the sun came up for us to go, so he started coming downstairs at dawn and head-butting the furniture while I was on the elliptical in an effort to let me know it was TIME. I have walked thousands of miles with this dog, in good weather and bad, and each and every time we went, his attitude was, "Walkies? I've never been on walkies before! This is exciting!" He was always "ready," no matter what was on the agenda. He would not have been a happy dog if his walkies had been denied him, and Boogie was, above all else, a joyful and happy pooch. After his spinal injury, he made it clear to us that he was no longer "ready," and we knew it was time.


I miss my Boogie-Dog, more than I can say. As my old friend Kathy, a devoted animal lover, notes, "The toll we pay for this kind of love is heavy." Indeed it is. But I'm grateful to have loved this dog, and for the time he was a member of our family. We're better people for his presence in our lives, and he was an anodyne for the cynicism that creeps in during stressful times.


The best dog in the world, and worthy, utterly worthy, of both my love and my grief. My good, good boy.

A Week of Gratitude, Day Six - The Chance to do my Duty

Friday, December 7, 2012
My Hot Mom is getting older. I'm not telling tales out of school - I'm firmly in my middle age, so it only follows. As a result, she needs some additional help compared to the years when she was younger and bit more spry.

I realize that some adult children resent having to help their aging parents, or simply refuse to do so.* Apparently it interferes with their very important lives, or something. And I also realize that some aging parents don't like to ask their adult children for the help they need. But I've been giving this a lot of thought lately, and I've decided that I'm grateful for this opportunity.

Mom needing a bit more help to manage her activities, even on a temporary basis, gives us a chance to spend time together. It gives her a chance to know my husband as I know him, and recognize his generosity and devotion. It provides me with an opportunity to get to know her in new ways, and for her to know me as the competent, caring adult I've become. It allows her to learn how to ask for help, and to accept help gracefully. It allows me to learn to give help without conditions, and to do so gracefully. It opens the door to honest conversations about critical end of life decisions, and allows us to communicate in new ways. And it allows me the opportunity to do my duty, which I've come to understand matters to me in deep, meaningful ways. 

Today I'm grateful to have the chance to help my Mom live a meaningful, independent life in her senior years, for both our sakes.

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*Talk about some seriously shitty karma. Good luck with all that. 

A Week of Gratitude, Day Five - The Freedom to Act

Thursday, December 6, 2012
When I first moved back to Colorado after leaving active duty in 1996, I chose to take a job at Lucent Technologies as a technician. In hindsight, it was the best professional decision I've ever made, but my first 18 months on Lucent's payroll were tight. I started out making $9.15 an hour, and had the usual bills to pay, plus child support as the Smart Twins were living with their father at that point. On less than $20K a year.

So I know what it feels like to have no disposable income, to go into debt to manage the necessities, to hope like hell your POS Ford Escort doesn't break down because you have no resources to effect repairs. While Lucent provided excellent benefits in terms of health insurance and such, I was always, always one paycheck away from being homeless. Which made me no different than millions of other Americans.

Thankfully I didn't lose my job during that time, and eventually I ended up working in the field I'm in now, making far more money than I ever thought I would.

I like making a lot of money,* but not the for the usual reasons. Yes, it's fabulous to never have to worry about being able to make the mortgage, to not have to consider the "budget" when deciding on which cut of meat to purchase, to save significant portions of my salary for retirement, to realize that we have enough money in the bank to tide us over for a while if I lose my fabulous job in the Military Industrial Complex (HELLO, SEQUESTRATION). All of these things are critical to living a low stress life, and I'm grateful, each and every day, that I don't have to live my life on the knife edge of poverty.

But the thing I love, the thing that gives me pleasure about my financial situation is the freedom it gives me to act.  When my friends have a run of bad luck, I'm in a position to treat them to lunch, or an evening out. When my Hot Daughter has an accident, I can pay the deductible on the repairs and she can pay me back. When my Hot Mom needs something to make her life a little easier, I can pay for it without having to reevaluate my budget. And when I see something that I know, I just know, would be a perfect gift for someone I care for, I can just buy it.

Today I'm grateful that my financial situation allows me to not only support me and my family comfortably, but lets me help my friends and family, as well. 


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*I consider "a lot" to be a subjective term. I certainly make a lot compared to what I was living on in 1996. I also make a lot relative to our family budget because we're extremely conservative in terms of living below our means. But compared to people who have real money I might as well work part-time at Wal-Mart.

A Week of Gratitude, Day Four - Finally Getting it Right

Wednesday, December 5, 2012
This April, the Smart Man and I will be celebrating our 15th anniversary.

That doesn't seem possible to me. Prior to our getting together, the longest romantic relationship I'd had lasted only seven years, and none of them was particularly healthy or supportive.

But my relationship with the Smart Man is different.

Jokes about my being his Sugar Mama aside, our relationship is one of equals. We both contribute to the success of our household, albeit in different ways. We support each others' families, in whatever way we deem appropriate. We're always on each other's side, although that doesn't translate into being let off the hook when one of us is wrong or behaving badly. We bring balance to each others' worldviews, providing perspective where we might have personal blind spots. We hold each other accountable where it's necessary, and let things go when it's not.

Today I'm grateful that after several failed attempts, I have finally gotten this right.

A Week of Gratitude, Day Three - The Nerd Grrl

Tuesday, December 4, 2012
My Hot Daughter is a complete Nerd Girl. Tumblr, Fandom, Cosplay, Cons - you name it and she's into it. She's always been a much bigger nerd than I, in spite of my status as a female engineer in a male-dominated field. As she notes, she's happy that there are women like me, fighting the good fight, working for a sea change in these fields, but such a life holds no interest for her on a professional level.

Instead, she makes an effort to effect changes in the communities where she's a member - Fandom, LGBT, her University. Social justice and her franchise matter to my daughter.

I came of age in one of the most misogynistic cultures in the country. And yet I was simply awash in my unearned privilege, failing to see the truth of others' reality even when I tripped over it. Part of this was the company I kept (privilege-induced blindness is contagious, I've found), but the simple fact of the matter was that I lived an unexamined life in this respect until personal crises forced me to integrate my personality and become the person I aspired to be.

Not so my daughter.

I believe part of her empathy comes from being a member of a persecuted minority, and part comes from her intellect. But she looks at the world in a fundamentally different way than I did when I was her age. She sees other people's worlds in ways that allow her to recognize how her own privilege has made her life easier, and how her status as a minority has made her life harder. She tries hard not to take her privilege for granted, and comports herself in a way that takes other people's concerns into account.

Today I am grateful that my daughter is a fundamentally decent human being, concerned for others, and that she sees the world as a place that can be improved for everyone, regardless of their life's circumstances.

A Week of Gratitude, Day Two - Making Friends with my Body

Monday, December 3, 2012
I need to lose about 20 pounds.

This is not news - I have spent the last decade needing to lose 20 (or more) pounds, and vacillating between various weight loss strategies in an effort to mold my body into something I could live with comfortably. But a funny thing happened in the last year - I made friends with my body.


I ran my first 5K this year, benefiting the Wounded Warrior Project.


I can do 100 lunges and still get out of bed the next morning.

I can run 6 miles without stopping.

I can lift weights several times each week, increasing the weight slowly and steadily as my muscles increase in strength.

I exercise nearly every day, making time for this activity in a somewhat insane schedule, and it benefits no one but me.

My body is strong. My body is fit. My body works. And because of these facts, I find that I actually LIKE my body, extra 20 pounds and all.

That doesn't mean I should give up the struggle to drop the last of my excess weight and maintain better eating habits. Because, really - I love to eat crappy, high-calorie foods, often with little nutritional value. I still have work to do in terms of my love-hate relationship with food.

But it does mean that I no longer consider my body to be a burden rather than a blessing. It has carried the essential me over the last 47 years, born two children, provided pleasure (and some pain), and done a pretty stellar job of holding off disease in spite of my lackadaisical efforts in helping it do so.

Today I'm grateful for my strong, fit body, and the work I do to maintain it.

A Week of Gratitude, Day One - The Mechanicky Gal

Sunday, December 2, 2012
When I was in the Navy, one of my assignments was the USS JASON, a heavy repair ship out of San Diego, California. While assigned to this ship, one of the women I served with was The Mechanicky Gal*, a Hull Technician Chief Petty Officer.

We have some things in common. We both read voraciously. We both believe human beings have an obligation to help one another in meaningful ways. We both believe that relationships are things that require work and effort, and that the ones you choose are the ones that matter most to you. We both think Sarah Palin is spiteful, petty, and dumber than a box of hammers. We've both been married multiple times, either to putzes or to men who were completely and utterly inappropriate.

But we're also very different. I have no skills - NONE - in home improvement and repair. MG is the type of gal who would borrow a foundry and a machine shop so that she might make her own fixtures. I can't think of a single reason to do a project or perform a chore when I can pay someone else to do it. MG is disgustingly self-sufficient. I have the Smart Twins, MG got her tubes tied in her twenties. I spend an inordinate amount of time on intellectual pursuits that border on mental masturbation, while MG has a far more pragmatic and practical intellectual life.

And regardless of what we have in common or we don't, she's my sister.

I have no relationship with my birth sibling, and MG's relationship with her birth sibling is superficial. So we adopted each other as our "Sister from Another Mister," and have determined that we will act accordingly. She may need to get her hip replaced due to the wear and tear that comes from doing all those home improvement projects. When that happens, I will be flying to San Diego to provide familial and culinary support. If our respective partners (The Mechanicky Guy and The Smart Man) get hit by buses, we have a retirement "Plan B" that includes living together and causing no end of trouble in the local retirement community and/or on senior vacation trips. When support is required, through good times and bad, we'll be there for one another, just as we have for the last twenty years.

Today I'm grateful that I have such a friend in my life, a friend who is my sister in spirit and who has provided me the love, support and friendship that helps make me whole. I love you, my sister.

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*Not her real name.

Ah, Schadenfreude

Friday, November 30, 2012
I have been watching with some bemusement the on-line kerfuffle over the so-called "War on Men." Leaving aside for the moment the utter hypocrisy required for someone like Suzanne Venker - a successful writer who is fully capable of supporting herself - to chastise women for not being feminine and dependent enough, the entire thing is just stupid. 

Reasonable people are not declaring "war" against men. Reasonable people are not suggesting that men should not be allowed to contribute to society in meaningful ways. Reasonable people are not  suggesting that men should be relegated to sperm donors. Reasonable people are not suggesting that men should not participate in public life. What reasonable people are suggesting is that men, especially white men, are slowly, eventually, someday going to have to learn to compete on a level playing field.

And we're getting there. I have worked in male-dominated fields since 1984. During that time, I have watched the cultural norms in professional life change, and change for the better. It's no longer acceptable for men to pinch my ass or otherwise overtly sexually harass me. If I'm still the only female engineer in the room during the the majority of my meetings, at least I'm not perceived as some sort of trained monkey, a one-off phenomenon suitable only to be gawked at while the men-folk marvel at my ladybrain's ability to (gasp) Do Math! And Engineer! Am I still subject to gender-bias and other, more subtle forms of sexual harassment? You bet. Each and every day, and you can be sure that even after all these years it still makes my blood boil and I have to resist the urge to punch people in throat on a semi-regular basis.

But it's better. And I think that's the catalyst for the kerfuffle. This slow, inexorable sea change means that, as Chez notes over at the Daily Banter, white guys "can’t just “show up” and still be the subject of adoration, as they once were."

Yes, it's true. Eventually we'll reach a point where men will no longer get to go to the front of the line simply by virtue of their penises. Some day, men will no longer be able to play the game of life on the lowest difficulty setting. Slowly, ever so slowly, it's changing. And as anyone with enough self-awareness to come in out of the rain knows, it's changing for the better, for both women AND men. Men can now reasonably make the choice to be the stay-at-home parent if that's what they want and it's what works for their family. Men can now reasonably make the choice to work part-time and take care of the household while the female partner is the main breadwinner if that's what they want and it's works for them and their family. These really weren't viable, acceptable choices for men even 20-30 years ago, but now? I know several families who have made these choices, to everyone's benefit, and the men are no less whole, no less contributing members of society for their choices, any more than a woman who made a similar choice would be. Why wouldn't both men and women want this flexibility in their lives?

So when I see men, especially white men, complain so bitterly about the slow, eventual loss of their unearned privilege, I find I am, um, somewhat unsympathetic. As they bitch, cry and moan, I remember each and every time I've been interrupted, ignored, talked over - marginalized - in my professional and personal life, and I just say to myself, "Suck it, you whiny bitch. Welcome to my world."

Not a very flattering reaction, it's true, but it's an honest one. Because in my world, you don't get brownie points for wanting people on an even playing field. It's a minimum standard of decency. One that many prvileged people seem to be failing to achieve.

Free Shit Friday Winner...

...of the Blueberry Lemonade Jam is -CGL- with a random number of 15.

Carolyn, I don't think you've ever won before, so I'll need your snail mail address for shipment. Let me know how it turned out, too, and be honest - since it's a first attempt, I need to know if it tastes like ass so I can strike the recipe from my rotation.

Enjoy! ...as long as it doesn't taste like ass, I mean.

Happy Anniversary

Thursday, November 29, 2012
Today is the fifth anniversary of Hot Chicks Dig Smart Men. In the last five years, I've posted to this space 2,266 times and I've had 267,820 unique visitors.

And I've built a small, satisfying online community. I've had the chance to meet some of my readers in meat-space, and they've been as clever, entertaining, and decent in person as they've been here. Thankfully, the troll-fests have been few and far between, and if my community has remained small and intimate compared to other blogs on the Internet, you can assume it's because I like it that way. I like the fact that I "know" my regular commenters, and that they "know" me. I've occasionally written pieces that ended up attracting the whackadoos and the scum sucking asshats that hang around Reddit, and I've decided that keeping my parties small and "invitation only" is a better fit for me and for this space.

Which is not to say that I'm not going to rant periodically, and I may even rant about controversial topics. Just not every day. It's not good for my blood pressure, and it tends to attract the wrong crowd over the long haul.  Pandering to sycophants and militants holds little appeal to me, compared to the often funny, insightful exchanges that have occurred in my comment threads over the years.

Happy Anniversary, Hot Chicks and Smart Men. And thank you for helping me make my blog a place I'm proud to call "home."

Giving Tuesday - Toys for Tots

Tuesday, November 27, 2012
"I'm Batman."

Since I've been so vociferous in my condemnation of Black Friday, I'm happy to have participated in Giving Tuesday this morning by dropping off the yearly haul for Toys for Tots at our local collection point, Keller's Professional Auto & Diesel* here in Parker. This is our third year of donating a Jeepful of Toys to the Tots, and my Hot Daughter's second year participating in the buying process for our family's donation. This is the kind of consumerism I can get behind.

___________
*Good folks over there at Keller's - they service my Patriot.

A Word of Thanks

Monday, November 26, 2012

Terry and I wanted to thank everyone who called, texted, e:mailed, sent private messages on Facebook and otherwise sent their condolences at the loss of our beloved Boogie.

While these things are never, ever easy, it's comforting to have friends and family who understand and share our grief not only for his loss, but also know how hard it is to be forced to make such decisions for our four-legged family members.

I don't know when we'll return to regularly scheduled content here at Hot Chicks Dig Smart Men - as you can imagine, I don't really feel much like writing non-Boogie related content right now. Thanks for bearing with us at this difficult time.

Boogie the Giant Schnauzer, November 11, 2001 - November 24, 2012

Saturday, November 24, 2012

The best dog in the world. The worst Thanksgiving ever.

Free Shit Friday - Blueberry Lemonade Jam

Friday, November 23, 2012



Today, instead of going out and ruining the weekend of retail workers everywhere, I'm giving away a jar of my brand-new Blueberry Lemonade Jam. This is a new recipe for me, and it appears to have set up all right, but I can't really attest to its quality at this point. However, even if it turned out like boiled dirt, it's still better than going anywhere near the Mall today.

da Rules.

A Week of Gratitude

Thursday, November 22, 2012
Today is Thanksgiving here in the United States. Traditionally, today is a day to reflect on one's life and identify those things for which we're thankful.

Last year, I started a new tradition here at Hot Chicks Dig Smart Men where I choose the first full week of December to blog a Week of Gratitude in an effort to get some perspective about my life and the many things I have to be thankful for.

So once again I'll be blogging a Week of Gratitude the first full week in December, from December 2nd through December 8th. Even if I've written about specific topics before, I believe that identifying and acknowledging those things and people that make my life rewarding, fulfilling, worth living, is never a bad thing.

If anyone wants to join me, please let me know and I'll provide a link list at the bottom of each entry for those who want to participate.

Happy Thanksgiving, Hot Chicks and Smart Men.

Goals - I Has Them

Tuesday, November 20, 2012
I just learned today that my employer has decided not to fund Tuition Reimbursement for the Calendar Year 2013.

I have only six courses left in my current degree program, and was hoping to knock most of them out next year. Now if I wish to do so, I'll be paying tuition out of pocket. Since I'm already paying a portion of my Hot Daughter's tuition, I'm unsure if I can stretch the budget that far, especially in light of DU's extremely expensive tuition rates.  And if push comes to shove, my Hot Daughter's education needs come before mine, since I already have marketable skills.

I'm trying not to be too disappointed by this news. After all, my former employer has already subsidized my education to the tune of over $45K, which is far more help than most students receive. If I have to pay for the home stretch myself, then I should probably put on my big girl panties, do my last three electives at our local Community College for transfer credit, and suck up the cost of the last three required courses at DU.

Education is important. I believe it, and I guess the time has come for me to put my money where my mouth is.

"You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy."

Monday, November 19, 2012
No, not Mos Eisley - the absolute circus that has become Black Friday in this country.

Seriously - what the fuck is wrong with these yahoos who run the retail industry? It wasn't enough that those people who work in the retail industry had to report for work at O-Dark-Thirty on the Friday after Thanksgiving or risk losing the only crappy job they were able to find in this economy. Now they have to leave their families on Thanksgiving Day in order to open their stores so that crazy people looking for a "deal" can try to save some money. I don't get it. I just don't. If you have to call in OSHA to help you manage your crowd control so that people don't get trampled to death, I think it's safe to say you're DOING IT WRONG.

It's one thing for people to have to work on holidays because they work in critical services. I've worked my fair share of holidays over the years for that purpose, and didn't begrudge it. But it's not like making sure the Target is open on Thanksgiving contributes in some meaningful way to the health and safety of our communities.

It's just greed, pure and simple. I think it's shameful - SHAMEFUL - that people have to leave their families on a holiday like Thanksgiving to line the pockets of consumers and the companies that compromise the well-being of their employees to cater to them.

Engi-nerd Grrls

Saturday, November 17, 2012
Sometimes I get discouraged at the appalling lack of women in my profession. As a female engineer, I'm often the only woman at the table, and even after all these years of mentoring, Junior Achievement, etc., it still feels like an uphill battle to encourage other women to choose engineering as a viable career. The field is not exactly welcoming, and oftentimes girls are not encouraged to get the education and training they need to break through.

Enter GoldieBlox, a new line of toys for girls that emphasize engineering tasks in ways that girls want to learn. The Kickstarter is over, and they're now taking preorders.

This makes me furiously happy. I've already ordered the first offering as a future Christmas gift for my Awesome, Awesome Niece, and anxiously await future developments. Bravo, Ms. Sterling. Bravo.

 

Things for Thursday

Thursday, November 15, 2012
Seems a woman in Cleveland decided that she was just WAY TOO IMPORTANT to stop for a school bus that was unloading passengers. So she drove her vehicle onto the sidewalk and around the bus. The entire thing was caught on film, and when she went before the Judge, he decided this was the appropriate punishment:


I have about as much sympathy for her as I do for those shameful fucksticks who are able-bodied but still park in disabled parking spots, so I'm afraid I'm indulging in a little schadenfreude on this one. ::snort::

H/T my Hot Mom
__________________

So I was minding my own business yesterday afternoon when the phone rang. It was some woman from a Salt Lake City area code who claimed to be "looking" for one of my neighbors, and then gave me a name I was unfamiliar with. When I claimed I'd never heard of her, the caller replied with, "So you do know ("missing" person's name) at (nearby house's address)?"

Yeah, right. Good luck with that strategy, slick.

I'm afraid I became a bit sharp with the caller at that point and made some snotty comments about the caller's inability to parse English and the probability of me helping strangers hound my neighbors (precisely 0%). And since they called me by my husband's last name and not my own, I suspect they got our number through a reverse look-up on our address.

I swear, people have NO SHAME.
__________________

My trip to Montana was fairly productive from a doing-the-work-for-which-I'm-paid perspective, so go, me. I have to say though - Montanans have a serious obsession with taxidermy and decorating with dead animals. Everywhere I went, dead, glassy eyes followed me accusingly as I looked over my shoulder at their lifeless bodies. I understand that it's a matter of personal taste on an esthetic basis, but - ew.

Montana on My Mind

Monday, November 12, 2012
I'll be heading out to Montana this afternoon on my latest business trip, so instead of original, scintillating content, here's some links to other people's original, scintillating content:

An essay by conservative pundit David Frum which slightly restores my faith in the conservative movement. His central message: Stop longing for the days when only straight, white men had a voice, grow a pair, and stop losing your shit. Bravo, sir.

A little something for Veteran's Day: A Love Story in 22 Pictures. Bring a hanky. No, seriously - bring a hanky. What a lovely couple.

An open letter to Republican strategists from their key demographic - an upper middle class straight white dude named Eric Garland. His central message: For people who live in reality rather than the world of self-delusion, you're getting it wrong, wrong, wrong. Also: You're kind of mean.

SMBC has a new video out which made me laugh and laugh. I do loves me some irony.


I'll be returning on Wednesday unless that bastion of customer service and timely transportation United Airlines hoses up my week (again). Have a good week, Hot Chicks and Smart Men.

Boogie Blogging Friday - Holding His Own Edition

Friday, November 9, 2012
Boogie has finished his initial course of treatment of Adequan, and has been taking his twice daily dose of Neurontin.

While he still tires easily and going down the stairs can be problematic, we've noticed an incremental improvement in his mobility and comfort as a result of this course of treatment.

So we're glad that he's feeling better, although we were hoping for a more dramatic change. We'll continue to provide whatever treatment will improve his quality of life, of course, but it pains me to admit that it's just a holding action at this point. He'll be eleven years old in two days, which given his size means he's moved into extreme old age.

My good, good boy.

Getting wrapped around the axle (and pass the Cheetos)

Thursday, November 8, 2012
So Colorado passed Amendment 64 on Tuesday, which basically legalized the use of recreational marijuana in the state.

As with most drug-related legislation, there were people on both sides of the issue just losing their shit. Here's a run-down of the arguments:

Pro. "Liberty! Revenue! Self-Determination! Cheetos!"

Con. "Drugs! Slippery Slope! Think of the Children!"

Mostly I don't give shit, although I thought it was pretty disingenuous of the writers of the Amendment to specify that portions of the tax revenue from selling recreational marijuana were to be used for education. Why bother, when smoking pot every day makes you dumber than a box of hammers anyway?

Both sides are missing some pretty salient points, in my opinion:
  • Just because the State of Colorado chooses to legalize recreational marijuana in the state doesn't mean the Feds have done so. And while watching the conservative "states' rights" crowd turn themselves into a Möbius strip in an effort to reconcile their contradictory viewpoints on this issue will provide excellent fodder for Jon Stewart, the fundamental conflict still remains. And given the choice between being prosecuted by Denver County for recreational possession ($1.00 fine) and being prosecuted by the Feds for recreational possession (federal offense), I'd take the fine.
  • Those who really wanted to smoke a bowl on the right side of the law were already doing so under Colorado's extremely liberal "medical marijuana" loophole. Seriously, if you were smart enough to poor pee out of a boot, you were doing this on a perfectly legal basis already.
I myself voted for the Amendment, for two reasons. First, I drink alcohol. While I don't have any desire to smoke pot (legally or otherwise), I don't consider it any better or worse than drinking alcohol responsibly on a recreational basis. The hypocrisy required for me to vote "no" on Amendment 64 while simultaneously ordering another delicious Lucky Cat Martini at P.F. Chang's is a bit more than I can tolerate.

Secondly, I'm that strange combination of tax and spend liberal and small "L" libertarian in that I really don't give a good goddamn what people do in terms of their personal life choices. I don't consider it to be any of my business, and to quote my buddy Rachael, "I think responsible adults should be able to do it legally if they want, and that our police and courts and prisons have better things to spend their time and money on than a bunch of potheads whose worst crime is bogarting the Fritos."

We'll see how the Fed versus State issue resolves itself, but really - I have better things to think about. 

Why I am Content Today

Wednesday, November 7, 2012
  • Last night before I went to sleep, I read a chapter of Robert Sawyer's Illegal Alien rather than technical material.

  • The 2012 election is over. I would have preferred that the political landscape had improved in favor of my own point of view, but I'm content with a continuance of the status quo as it relates to control of the White House, the Senate, and the House of Representatives. Because the obvious alternative would make me want to set my hair on fire.

  • I'm still dreaming of subnetting and routing protocols. However, last night I did NOT dream that I was taking a certification exam but was being continuously interrupted by Noam Chomsky, who was trying to discuss the cognitive relevance of professional certification with me while my time was running out. 

  • Reality wins, proving once again that wishful thinking is no match for math.

  • Last night, the Smart Man gave me my Christmas present early - an upgrade to my smart phone from the HTC Incredible 2 to the new Motorola Droid RAZR Maxx HD. While I liked my Incredible, the battery life was woefully inadequate, and it apparently cannot acquire a GPS signal without thinking about it for at least 5 minutes. These things made it a poor choice for me now that I'm traveling so much, and so I settled on the RAZR based on the three things I care about most: GPS acquisition, battery life, and camera quality. I'm still becoming familiar with it, but for now - I like it. 

  • I am SO HAPPY my company suspended Tuition Assistance for the last quarter of the year. If I had been trying to get my technical certifications done while simultaneously studying International Trade, I suspect I would have been medicated by now, possibly as a resident in an in-patient program. 
Time to move on, Hot Chicks and Smart Men. I wonder how long I should wait before re-subscribing to my political podcasts? 

Die, Monkey, DIE!

Tuesday, November 6, 2012
Die a horrible, gruesome death, with no hope of mercy or salvation. Die in the heat of a thousand burning suns!

DIE, DIE, DIE! 

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Ahem.

I finally passed.

And now, some certification humor:

Q: What do school children and technical professionals have in common?

A: Useless standardized tests that don't measure what they purport to measure. "No Child Left Behind," "Professional Certification," po-tae-to, po-tah-to.

Knock, knock.
    Who's there?
Your next certification exam.
    Kill me now.

Vote


Bill Collectors

Friday, November 2, 2012
I work for a Fortune 100 company. I travel a lot. Therefore, I have a Corporate American Express card that I use for my business expenses.

Because I work in the military industrial complex, my company has very strict guidelines for the type of charges I'm permitted to incur, when I have to submit my expense reports, receipt requirements, etc., etc., ad naseum. Because I have a meticulous (okay, anal-retentive) nature, I'm pretty conscientious about it, and make sure I submit my reports promptly and completely. My company's financial department reviews them within a day or two of submission, and sends them in for payment quickly.

Please note that my company has 50,000 employees. Many of these employees travel overseas or domestically, and charge vast amounts of travel expenses to American Express.

This is why my conversations with them over the last two days have boggled my mind. I had to call for a slight credit increase to pay a registration fee for a professional conference next year. I had to speak to two associates (because the first one screwed it up), but both of the people who took my call felt compelled to badger me incessantly about when my employer would be paying the outstanding balance on my card, a balance that wasn't even due for another 10 business days. They wanted to know, Was I aware of the balance? Did I know when my company's accounts payable was planning on paying it? Did I think it would be paid by the due date? Would I please call my accounts payable department and make sure they intended to pay prior to the due date?

Because obviously I have nothing better to do than to ride herd on my $33 billion company's accounts payable department over a not-yet-due $1,000 balance on my Corporate American Express card.

This happened with both associates with whom I spoke so I have to believe that asking these questions are a matter of policy on the part of American Express. But why? Who agrees to chase this shit down for them rather than referring them to Accounts Payable? And does it actually work? "Oh, since this engineer who has nothing to do with accounting or finance called and asked me to expedite this not-yet-due bill, I guess I'll drop everything and take care of it!" Bitch, please.

Of course, I told them that I would not discuss the matter, since I wasn't responsible for paying the bill and referred them to my company's administrator. I spoke to her later in the day, and she's a very nice woman who told me that future difficulties should be referred directly to her. Now THERE's a plan I can get behind.

My friend Nunya

Thursday, November 1, 2012
*ring, ring*

Janiece: Hullo?

Female Call Center Agent: Hello! I'm Ariel from the We Like to Annoy You Research Company, and I was wondering if I can ask you a few questions! Have you voted?

J: Yes.

FCCA: So you voted early?

J: Since it's not yet Election Day, and I've voted, I'm going to go with "yes."

FCCA: Why did you vote early?

J: I made up my mind fairly early in the process.

FCCA: Who did you vote for in the Presidential race?

J: None of your business.

FCCA: Excuse me?

J: None of your business.

FCCA: Why won't you tell me?

J: I don't think who I voted for is any of your damn business.

FCCA: Well, that's kind of rude.

J: Not nearly as rude as, say, attempting to invade my privacy by determining who I voted for via secret ballot. Now THAT'S rude.

FCCA: I'm just trying to do my job

J: So am I. Which you're interrupting with your self-serving questions.

FCCA: Have a nice day!

J: Not likely. At least until the election is over.

*click*



You said it, Abby.

Hello, little Monkey. Aren't you cute?

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

So I've been studying for this thrice damned certification exam for the last month. I was supposed to have it completed by today, the last day of October, in order to meet one of my performance objectives.

So I signed up to take it on October 24th, thinking that if I bombed it, I'd have another week to remediate, and then I could take it again and still make my deadline.

I bombed it.*

Given who I am, this type of event is very difficult for me. It made me feel physically ill, and I shed a few tears in my disappointment. You see, I have a lamentable tendency to conflate my worth as a human being with my professional achievement, and while I think I've made progress in separating these things, I slip when something untoward happens. Which means I have a hard time keeping the stories I tell myself positive and forward-thinking.

So I dropped my entire life, canceled all my plans, and did basically nothing but study for the next week so that I could take the exam again. I scheduled the appointment for yesterday, and felt reasonably prepared both prior to my arrival at the testing center and also while I was taking the exam itself.

I missed the passing score by .7%.

The stories I started telling myself  went from bad to worse, of course. I questioned my decision to leave my old, soul-crushing gig for my new, fabulous job, since at least I was competent at the old job. I wondered what the hell my new boss was thinking, hiring me to do this work when I'm not even smart enough to pass a stupid certification exam. I speculated when I'll be given notice to find employment elsewhere, obviously in the fast food service industry, since that's all I'm qualified for. And (best of all!) I started questioning every personal decision I've ever made, berating myself over every failure in relationship and judgement in my life to date.**

Once I stopped crying, I had to tell my boss, with whom I have limited history, that I had failed to meet my certification objective for my first quarter of employment. By .7%. His response? He told me he was sorry that I had come so close, and since he was positive I would achieve the goal in short order, he was probably going to leave my performance review intact. So I cried some more, not only because I can't seem to get this damned monkey off my back, but also because people are sometimes kinder than I anticipate.

So. Onward and upward. I still feel like shit, but I'm back to studying, and will try again next week. 

___________
*Okay I didn't bomb it. But I failed to achieve a passing score, which is all that matters with these types of exams. Pass or fail, no "also-rans."

**Yes, I do realize how very much this falls into the "overreacting" category, especially in light of recent events on the East Coast. I have no perspective, I'm aware of that, and I'm working on it, while simultaneously trying not to throw up. This is an aspect of my usually-under-control depression and anxiety that periodically raises its ugly-ass head. I think that stupid monkey brings it along when he visits.

Heads Down

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

I'm afraid I'm going to be out of action for the rest of the week - I have a certification exam (which I've convinced myself I will fail in a most spectacular fashion), and then I'm off to Oklahoma City for a technology meeting with various and sundry vendors. 

If we're lucky I'll be back on Friday with a new edition of Boogie Blogging Friday, but no promises.

P.S. No, I did NOT watch the debate last night. In spite of Rachael's hilarious analysis (Obama to Romney: "QUIT HITTING YOURSELF WHY DO YOU KEEP HITTING YOURSELF?") I have already voted and watching politicians lie their asses off makes me twitch under the best of circumstances. So we watched Fringe from Netflix, instead.

Free Shit Friday Winner

Sunday, October 21, 2012
Of the Cranberry Walnut jam is Aileen, with a random number of 2. Enjoy!

2012 Flower Pr0n - Fall Edition

Saturday, October 20, 2012


Free Shit Friday - Cranberry Walnut Jam

Friday, October 19, 2012


Today's Free Shit is a jar of my homemade Cranberry Walnut Jam. Please note the spiffy new label - the Amazing Aileen had them made for me because she's, well, awesome. 

I always feel a little melancholy when I make this variety - it was my Auntie Deb's favorite, and it always reminds me of her. I'm thinking that from now on I should donate the jar I normally gave her to the Meals on Wheels program, instead. The seniors who benefit from that program always appreciate some homemade treats, and Deb used to routinely volunteer at the Senior's home near her house.  It seems appropriate, somehow.

da Rules.

Exercising my Franchise

Wednesday, October 17, 2012


This will be going out in today's mail, along with my Hot Daughter's ballot. The Smart Man prefers to vote in person, and will be participating in early voting at our local polling place.

Voting is my right, guaranteed by the Constitution. It is the way in which I give voice to my values, priorities, and concerns. It's a responsibility of citizenship, and while the media saturation that comes with living in a swing state during the election season makes me want to set my hair on fire, I wouldn't trade it for any other system. Nor will I give in to cynicism or despair and abrogate my duty by failing to vote in each and every election for which I'm eligible to vote.

Go. Vote. Be heard.


Well Behaved Women Rarely Make History - RADM Grace Hopper

Tuesday, October 16, 2012
This is Rear Admiral Grace Hopper. She had a Ph.D in mathematics from Yale University. She joined the Naval Reserves under the WAVE program in 1943 in order to serve during World War II. She served at the Harvard Computation Lab as a civilian contractor after the war was over, and continued her service in Naval Reserves until she was forced into retirement in 1986 at the age of 79.

She had an incredibly accomplished life, earning award after award for her work in Computer Science, developed the first compiler for a computer programming language, conceptualized the idea of machine-independent programming languages, which led to the development of COBOL, helped to develop UNIVAC 1, and released the first compiler languages.

When I joined the Navy in 1984, there were not a ton of female role models. Women weren't even permitted to attend the Naval Academy until 1976, and the first woman to achieve flag rank did so in 1972. Women weren't allowed to serve on combatant vessels until 1993.

But there was always Grace. Excluded by law and inclination from combat service, she took on the field of Computer Science in the most male dominated culture in the country. And she was accomplished. She was worthy of respect. She did not apologize for her gifts or her work, instead making her mark on every aspect of her chosen profession with humor and grace.

I'm a systems engineer. The work of RADM Hopper is the cornerstone of my profession. As she noted, "Life was simple before World War II. After that, we had systems." Just so.


In her own words: 
A ship in port is safe; but that is not what ships are built for. Sail out to sea and do new things.
I've received many honors and I'm grateful for them; but I've already received the highest award I'll ever receive, and that has been the privilege and honor of serving very proudly in the United States Navy.

I admire and respect RADM Grace Hopper, who excelled in both my chosen fields - the military and STEM. Courageous, smart, non-conformist. Ill-behaved.

___________
This blog post is inspired by Ada Lovelace Day, an initiative to "share stories of women — whether engineers, scientists, technologists or mathematicians — who have inspired you to become who you are today. The aim is to create new role models for girls and women in these male-dominated fields by raising the profile of other women in STEM."

Something to think about

Monday, October 15, 2012
I recently finished a book called The Righteous Mind: Why Good People are Divided by Politics and Religion, by Jonathon Haidt. It was recommended by most of the current events podcasts I subscribe to, and I was hoping to get a better understanding of those with whom I don't agree. The synopsis:

Dr. Haidt's starting point is moral intuition—the nearly instantaneous perceptions we all have about other people and the things they do. These intuitions feel like self-evident truths, making us righteously certain that those who see things differently are wrong. Haidt shows us how these intuitions differ across cultures, including the cultures of the political left and right. He blends his own research findings with those of anthropologists, historians, and other psychologists to draw a map of the moral domain, and he explains why conservatives can navigate that map more skillfully than can liberals. He then examines the origins of morality, overturning the view that evolution made us fundamentally selfish creatures. But rather than arguing that we are innately altruistic, he makes a more subtle claim—that we are fundamentally groupish. It is our groupishness, he explains, that leads to our greatest joys, our religious divisions, and our political affiliations. In a stunning final chapter on ideology and civility, Haidt shows what each side is right about, and why we need the insights of liberals, conservatives, and libertarians to flourish as a nation.
The reason I read nonfiction (and books about philosophy and politics specifically) is to give my brain something to think about other than Variable Length Subnet Masks and Per VLAN Spanning Tree Protocol. By that yardstick, this book succeeded wildly.

The crux of Dr. Haidt's argument is that there are six basic moral foundations and our values (and decisions) spring from these:
  1. Care/harm for others, protecting them from harm.
  2. Fairness/cheating. Justice, treating others in proportion to their actions, giving them their "just desserts." This is also referred to as "proportionality."
  3. Liberty/oppression. This characterizes judgements in terms of whether subjects are tyrannized.
  4. Loyalty/betrayal. Are you loyal to your group, family or nation, or do you betray them? This is also referred to as "ingroup."
  5. Authority/subversion. Respect for tradition and legitimate authority.
  6. Sanctity/degradation. Avoiding disgusting things, foods and actions. This is also referred to as "purity."
As I was reading, it seemed apparent to me that my own moral foundations rest firmly in care/harm and liberty/oppression, with sprinkles of fairness/cheating and loyalty/betrayal. I understand the authority/subversion foundation (but don't think I share it much), and don't get the sanctity/degradation foundation at all. According to Dr. Haidt, that's because I'm WEIRD. While this is not a newsflash, in his case he means I'm a person who is Western, Educated, Industrialized, Rich and Democratic. And those demographics typically reflect a strong affinity to the care/harm and liberty/oppression moral foundations. But being WEIRD means I'm a minority. Most of the humans in this world are not included in these demographics, and it behooves me to at least attempt to see the world from their point of view before I dismiss their ideas, opinions and values as not worthy of my consideration.

So now I more thoroughly understand that the religious right's bigotry against the LGBT community is based on the sanctity/degradation moral foundation. And I understand how someone who places value on loyalty/betrayal might think that a liberal who desires to expand the "ingroup" to include previously excluded humans might find that threatening.*

The best point that I think Dr. Haidt made is that almost every political group has something of value to offer our community. I don't agree with much of the Libertarian and Conservative platform, but that doesn't mean that their desire to protect tradition, free markets and proportionality in crime and punishment is somehow evil or they that don't have what they consider to be our nation's best interests in mind. It just means those goals and priorities need to be balanced with social justice and protecting the least among us - my own priorities. I think that reminder is probably worth the cost of the book and the time it took to listen to it. 

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*I still think they're full of shit, of course. Bigotry is not something people get a pass on with me, no matter what moral psychologists say. But I understand it.