I'm an Alien Diplomat!

Wednesday, May 28, 2008
According to this CNN Quiz, if I worked in space, I'd be an Alien Diplomat, because of my tact and love of new cultures.

Stop laughing.

I'm capable of being tactful.

It's just usually too much work.

I said, stop laughing.


Wave o' the Tentacle to Random Michelle.

20 comments:

Tania said...

I got the same result. I used to work in contracting and negotiations. I can do it, but I'm usually not patient enough unless I'm getting paid to be patient.

We could be the Hot Chick answer to Retief! I did interview with State, and considered joining the Foreign Service. A long time ago.

Jeri said...

I'm an alien diplomat too. (In spite of the scorch marks in the diplomatic suite on Janiece's starship.)

I do a LOT of contracting, negotiations, wheeling, dealing, persuading, presenting, strategizing. I didn't realize that this job would be 80% that - I thought it would be straightforward project management. I'm a results oriented driver so I, too, get impatient with it. Live and learn.

Eric said...

And yet somehow I get "biodome gardner," presumably because I'd rather go for a walk than surf or shop, and like green places.

I have never, ever, ever in my life been able to keep a potted plant alive or get anything I ever tried to plant in a garden to even sprout. Do you know what would happen if I were assigned "biodome garden"? Do you have any idea at all? Nothing, that's what would happen--and then we would all starve. Or suffocate, if we were supposed to be dependent in any way for air on these entirely hypothetical plants I would somehow be in the process of killing. "Say, Eric, isn't this biodome supposed to be, um, full of plants or something?" All of the alien diplomats (and apparently the starship would be stuffed with them, they'd be falling out of the overhead compartments by the looks of things) would ask me this, and I would have to explain that I told Mission Control I've never been able to grow a fucking vegetable in my life, and how they told me my fondness for "classic rock" would stand me in good stead as the Johnny Appleseed of the great black void.

I'm really, truly, deeply sorry: you're all going to die. Unless maybe you convince those aliens over there to share their lunch with us.

Michelle K said...

Eric, you're safe. I'm also a biodome gardener.

I'll train you as we go.

Janiece Murphy said...

Yay for Michelle, who will ensure we don't starve or suffocate!

Eric said...

Thanks, Michelle--but after a day or two you may want to keep me away from the actual plants and assign me to carrying sacks of fertilizer or running the computer that operates the hydroponics system. Just saying. :-D

Cindi in CO said...

I guess I'll be working for Michelle, 'cause I'm a biodome gardener too.

Yay, green things!

Jim Wright said...

I'm a Shuttle Pilot - that's good because neither Diplomat or Biodome shit shoveler interest me. :)


Janiece as an Alien Diplomat. Ha! Why am I reminded of the Jason Nesmith character from Galaxy Quest, "Fire the Red Particle Beam, fire the Blue Particle Beam - there that ought to take of it. (yawn) Whoa! Look at the time, I've got a thing in Van Nyes in about fifteen minutes, can we wrap this up?"

Janiece Murphy said...

Jim, I told you to stop laughing.

Now you're going to get the particle beam - which shoots out of the Shovel of Doom™.

Michelle K said...

Actually Eric, what you'll more likely be doing is digging holes, hauling poop (We'll be making our own fertilizer on a space ship thank you), and hauling around a hose or watering can. (Because no watering system ever perfect.)

I'd say weeding, but I think weeds won't be much of a problem in space.

There's no way I'm letting you near a pair of pruning shears.

Carol Elaine said...

I too am a biodome gardener. I'm good with plants as long as I actually remember to water them. I've had healthy gardens and houseplants in the past. Then I get busy and next thing I know: dead plants everywhere.

Ooh, Michelle, may I tend to the tomatoes? I'm really good with tomatoes.

Michelle K said...

Please do! I can't stand the smell of tomato plants, so you're welcome to 'em!

Cindi in CO said...

Michelle, if Carol Elaine gets to tend the tomatoes, may I have the flowers?

Just because we have to eat, doesn't mean we can't have anything pretty.

Michelle K said...

Hmm... you may have to thumb wrassle me for 'em.

Flowers are my favorite part of gardening!

Cindi in CO said...

Well, Michelle, contrary to anything my sister may tell you, I AM capable of sharing.

:D

Eric said...

I'm reassured: as an assistant public defender, I have years and years of experience shoveling crap.

Carol Elaine said...

Thank you, Michelle K. Tomatoes, yay!

Steve Buchheit said...

Damnit, Alien Diplomat.

"So, how goes the negotiations?"

"Vent the #$%%kers into space."

Oh yeah, I'm gonna make a great Diplomat.

Janiece Murphy said...

I'm thinking this group of diplomats will get more done than in the entire history of diplomacy...

Anne C. said...

Turns out I'll be Jim's co-pilot. Which is cool, 'cause I'm good with maps and visualizing 3D space.