The P-Chip

Saturday, August 30, 2008
I want a P-Chip for my television and Internet browser.

Similar to the V-Chip, which reads information encoded in the rated program and blocks programs from the set based upon the rating selected by the parent, the P-Chip would analyze political commentary and ads and take appropriate measures when my predetermined rating was reached.

And by "appropriate measures" I mean send an automated signal that would taze the talking head or the candidate when they said something stupid, obvious, or both.

"Clearly, the McCain campaign selected Sarah Paulin because she's a woman." Really? You think? ZZZTTT!

"Clearly, the Obama campaign selected Joe Biden because he's white." Really? You think? ZZZTTT!

"The federal government is currently running a substantial budget deficit." Substantial? $490 billion is substantial? What do you consider enormous? ZZZTTT!

"My opponent wants to either: a., destroy the natural landscape to get a few barrels of oil, or b., increase our dependence on foreign oil in order to save a few ferrets." Yeah, I'm sure it really is that simple, you 'tard. ZZZTT!

"We want health care for all Americans! While we simultaneously lower taxes! And increase spending for other social spending! While we simultaneously lower taxes!" Clearly, you've never had to organize even a rudimentary budget. ZZZTTT!

You get the idea.

What?

4 comments:

kimby said...

Sounds like a wonderful idea...could you design it to adapt to Canadian Politics too? I have a feeling that I will get a lot of use out of it over the next month or so....

vince said...

Works for me. I'd invest in any company that could produce it!

Jim Wright said...

I'm so in.

zzzzsssst!

Anne C. said...

Heh, I would so buy that.