'Tard of the Week - Reginald Peterson

Wednesday, August 13, 2008
This may count as a 'tard of last week, but hey - I'm a busy, busy gal this week, and this is just too retarded to pass up.

Reginald Peterson is this week's 'tard because he decided to call 911. Not because there was an accident, or someone was hurt, or a criminal was rampaging through the streets of Jacksonville, FL. No, no - Mr. Peterson called the police because the sandwich shop where he was having lunch made his grub without mustard and mayo.

After placing the call, Mr. Peterson then achieved "super-'tard" status by calling 911 again, because apparently the po-po weren't responding to his "emergency" quickly enough.

Mr. Peterson was subsequently charged for his report of condiment crime.

Seriously, dude. Get a sense of proportion. It's just a sandwich. Fucking 'tard.

6 comments:

Chris said...

Don't tell Nathan about this - he might do the same thing next time someone screws up his food.

Lance Weber said...

Ummm, helllooo! If you watched any kind of television at all, you would clearly learn that having the right kind of condiments and knowing how to lavishly use them is one of the most important life quality measurements we have in the USA today.

The real tards are those sandwich shop guys - I'll bet they don't even have Grey Poupon or Real Kraft Mayo. As a matter of fact, let's call them what they are: mus-tards.

Janiece Murphy said...

Chris, I would pay cash money if Nathan would call 911 because the Pizza Hut folks aren't fulfilling their customer service obligations. Hee!

Lance, the Smart Boy worked in a Subway for a year.

So watch the bad puns, bubba. :)

Jeri said...

And the smug boy works at Subway now. I would LOVE to see his face if someone called 911 on his butt regarding something so trivial. This is the Broadway-star-in-training smug boy - he'd probably break into a rousing rendition of "Point of No Return" or something. LOL

Nathan said...

Yay! My hometown sprouted a tard.

I'm so proud.

Nathan said...

You know, I posted that comment before reading that you all want audience participation.

(And no, I'm not calling the cops on the missing Dominoes guy. Fuck him. Let him stay lost.)